Whenever I write, I'm reminded of the adage, "I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."* It's just so easy to regurgitate facts and figures and so time-consuming to try and distill knowledge and wisdom.
I remarked on the unfathomable scale of the Christchurch earthquake, and yet I know it's actually quite small compared to other natural disasters. In terms of deaths, the 2010 Haiti earthquake killed 160,000 and the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami killed almost a quarter million people. In terms of magnitude, neither quake was in the top 40. In terms of property damage, it ranks 7th on the list.
Closer to home, I was in Los Angeles for the 1994 Northridge quake, which was 6.7 magnitude (and 3rd on the list of costliest natural disasters). The Richter scale is logarithmic, so a 7.0 earthquake is ten times bigger than a 6.0 earthquake (and releases about 31 times as much energy). Thus, the Northridge quake was 5 times bigger than the Christchurch earthquake, but it was deeper, there was limited liquefaction and I suspect LA had higher building codes, so you had a lot of damage but not the same level of distraction. (To be fair, LA has earthquakes about every 20 years, and is still poorly prepared. Christchurch hadn't had a quake in 110 years before this one-two blow.)
Also, my dad was in the hospital, dying. I can't remember which hospital now, but it was close to Northridge. The day before the quake, the doctor had told us his kidneys were shutting down and he had about four days to live. I got to tell him, just before he slipped into unconsciousness, that his house was destroyed. So my experience and memory of the actual earthquake was a bit hazy.
It's been eight years since the quakes, and Christchurch is an amazing city. That they decided to bulldoze all the properties, rather than leave them to rot, is a testament to their will. That they have no idea what to do with the area is a damning statement on their vision. That they have rebuilt much of the city, from the ground up, is incredible; that they have not addressed the mental toll is incredulous. That they changed the building codes to ensure this never happens again is laudable; that they were so unprepared for it, living on the Ring of Fire, is laughable.
As always, it's easy to judge in hindsight, and difficult to see the future. Christchurch drained the New Zealand economy: While the Northridge quake cost USD $49 billion, that's less than 1/4 of 1 percent of the US GDP. The Christchurch quake cost USD $40 billion, but that's 20% of New Zealand's GDP! Almost all improvement programs throughout New Zealand were put on hold while the Christchurch rebuild was underway.
There is a parallel in all of this: The 1931 Napier earthquake, a monster 7.8 magnitude that killed 256 people and virtually levelled the town. As Wikipedia notes: "The earthquake prompted a thorough review of New Zealand building codes, which were found to be totally inadequate.... Building regulations established as a result of this event mean that to this day, there are only four buildings in Hawke's Bay taller than five storeys, and as most of the region's rebuilding took place in the 1930s when Art Deco was fashionable, Hawke's Bay architecture is regarded today as being one of the finest collections of Art Deco in the world."
That was a happy accident, and there is no such coherence in the Christchurch rebuild. My feeling is that, like the LA rebuild, it was designed to take advantage of government money and get things done as quickly as possible, with no real thought to the future or vision of what Christchurch wanted to be. (The LA freeways were rebuilt to the same specifications that caused them to collapse in the first place.) That was a wasted opportunity, but probably a necessary compromise at the time. Even today, with vast stretches of abandoned land, it would be good for Christchurch to take a collective breath and figure out what it wants to be when it grows up. But I guess the same could be said of any city.
* It's not by Mark Twain: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/04/28/shorter-letter/
Saturday, January 12, 2019
Friday, January 11, 2019
D'rash - parashat Terumah
Exodus 26:31-27:19 (triennial)
Terumah begins the exciting portion where G*d describes the mishkan, or tent of meeting, and all the rules and rituals that we no longer follow, in excruciating detail. This triennial describes the curtains, the altar and the outer courtyard. There’s lot of yarn, linen, copper, silver, acacia wood and implements for animal sacrifices. It is said the tent was used for 440 years before Solomon’s temple replaced it as the dwelling-place of G*d.
Today, we reference some of these things, such as the menorah, but we use candles instead of oil. The ark holds scrolls rather than tablets, the Ner Tamid is electric, the curtain is blue velvet not purple yarn, we have lions instead of cherubs. There is no alter or courtyard or Holy of Holies, and thankfully nothing is gilded. Because our methods of worship have changed, it is easy to write this portion off as irrelevant, or at least archaic.
Rabbi JoEllen, at the 2014 shabbaton, was the first to teach me about PaRDeS, an acronym for the four levels of interpretation:
- Peshat – "surface" or literal meaning
- Remez – "hints" or symbolic meaning
- Derash – the comparative meaning
- And Sod – "secret" or mystical meaning
So if we move past Peshat and look at the text from a symbolic viewpoint, we can start with the word “Terumah.” which is interpreted as “gifts.” The first line is “The Lord spoke to Moses, saying: Tell the Israelite people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for Me from every person whose heart so moves him.”
Terumah is a negotiation, a contract. In last week’s portion, Mishpatim, G*d has made promises to drive out Israel’s enemies and give them their land, to remove sickness and make them fruitful. In Terumah, G*d sets out what He wants in return. It was not just money but also labour and skill, worship and fealty. This was a covenant for all generations.
So these symbols we surround ourselves with aren’t to remind us of the specifics of the Tent of Meeting, but our Covenant with G*d, and that it is a two-way street. We ask for blessings, protection, guidance and peace, and in exchange G*d wants our faith, our time, our talents (and a little bit of our money). He asks us to be moral, to not follow our base instincts, to help others. Of course, we could do all of this without G*d, but it’s much easier as part of a community, and reminded by everything around us.
[From wikipedia]
Two thousand years ago, Josephus interpreted the Tabernacle and its furnishings to represent the universe. He saw the Tabernacle's two parts accessible to the priests (the Holy and the Courtyard) to denote the land and the sea, the third part (the Holy of Holies) to represent heaven, inaccessible to people. He saw the veils as the four elements: the linen represented earth, purple the sea, blue for the air; and scarlet for fire.
Moving into Derash -- which is related to the word “midrash” -- we compare this portion to other portions. In the most famous example, the rabbis compared this section of Exodus to Genesis 2: After G*d created the universe, he ceased from working. In two weeks time, in Ki Tisa, the last instructions for the Tabernacle are immediately followed by a reminder about the importance of the Shabbat. Moreover, the same word -- melakha -- is used in both portions. It is usually translated as “work” but can also refer to "workmanship", which is defined as “the skill with which something was made or done.” In other words, this work of man was equivalent to God’s work of creation, and thus was what was forbidden on Shabbat. The rabbis then compiled the 39 melachot which is the basis for Orthodox shabbat.
As for the secret or hidden meaning, if we believe the Torah is of divine origin, that it comes from the infinite and we have to grasp it with our finite brains, then of course there will be hidden details. If we believe it was written by man, and has been translated and changed throughout the generations, then of course things have been lost or reinterpreted. As the Pirkei Avot says of Torah, “Turn it and turn it again, for all is in it; see through it; grow old and worn in it.” Each of you can turn this portion and find a different meaning, and I encourage you to do so.
One last interpretation, this one from the website Simchat Torah Beit Midrash: “Terumah teaches us the importance of giving. You may not be building a tabernacle, but you are building a family, a community, a business, relationships. You always have something to contribute, and you should never underestimate the importance and power of the gift that you have to offer. At the same time, it is just as important to recognize that every person around you has something to offer, too. Never underestimate the importance of every single person in your life.”
Today’s portion belongs to both Sam and my daughter, Lilly. She would have read it but, as many of you know, last week she left for Israel. Over the next ten months, she will be making personal connections to all these things we talk about. When she returns, Torah will no longer be just words and stories, but sights, sounds, smells, experiences and memories. It is an amazing opportunity, and I want to thank the community who, directly and indirectly, made it possible through their own gifts. You have all played a part in who she has become, and you have collectively done a fantastic job. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, and shabbat shalom.
The $7,400 vacation
So my estimation was off by almost 50%. How did that happen?
Well, for one, as my partner pointed out, I had forgotten to feed the kids, and they ate a lot. Between groceries, meals and ice cream, that accounted for $1,200. Most meals were homemade or picnic lunches; I think we only ate out four times with the kids. (Once the kids were gone and we moved to the hotel, that was a different story. Fully one-third of our restaurant spend was just the two of us!)
Transportation was fully twice what I expected. The bus, uber and shuttle costs simply added up, plus I added a car for the day to go to Lyttleton. (I was planning on taking the bus but we got a late start and for $50 I decided it was worth the time saved.)
The cost of the Lime scooters was never anticipated although, to be fair, $22 of that $39 is labelled "temp hold" which I'm assuming Lime will refund to me at some point.
The "other" costs included shopping and gifts, which isn't too bad.
And lastly, the Airbnb was $100 more than expected, which I think was just dyscalculia (or possibly wishful thinking) -- I wrote down $1230 when in fact it was $1320.
Well, for one, as my partner pointed out, I had forgotten to feed the kids, and they ate a lot. Between groceries, meals and ice cream, that accounted for $1,200. Most meals were homemade or picnic lunches; I think we only ate out four times with the kids. (Once the kids were gone and we moved to the hotel, that was a different story. Fully one-third of our restaurant spend was just the two of us!)
Transportation was fully twice what I expected. The bus, uber and shuttle costs simply added up, plus I added a car for the day to go to Lyttleton. (I was planning on taking the bus but we got a late start and for $50 I decided it was worth the time saved.)
The cost of the Lime scooters was never anticipated although, to be fair, $22 of that $39 is labelled "temp hold" which I'm assuming Lime will refund to me at some point.
The "other" costs included shopping and gifts, which isn't too bad.
And lastly, the Airbnb was $100 more than expected, which I think was just dyscalculia (or possibly wishful thinking) -- I wrote down $1230 when in fact it was $1320.
In the end, I calculated we spent $168 per person, per day. That's $113 USD or £89 GBP. Whilst I'm not expecting any awards for frugality, I don't think I was being profligate*, either. As the last family holiday we may ever have, I wanted it to be memorable, and I hope I achieved that.
* I always thought "spendthrift" meant someone who was tight with their money, but it actually means the opposite.
Thursday, January 10, 2019
The rest of the holiday
The rest of the week was a bit of a blur. New Years' day we dragged ourselves into town about 2pm. My son decided to skateboard instead of taking the bus; he got lost and it took him about two hours. The girls headed off to the shopping district while my partner and I went to the art gallery. They had a brilliant exhibit called "The Founders Paradox." The website says this:
We went to a Mexican restaurant and had the most amazing feast. That evening we went to the cinema and saw, "Ralph Breaks the Internet" which I quite enjoyed, but the kids didn't. We got out of the cinema at 10pm to find the bus stopped running at 9:52pm! There were too many of us for a taxi, and two taxis was going to cost us $50. There was another bus which dropped us about 20 minutes from the house, so we waited for that. I told the driver where we were going and he told us to stay on the bus; it was his last shift and he'd take us home after. Only in New Zealand.
On January 2, the eldest was heading to Auckland so we dropped her at the airport in the morning and took the other two to the Christchurch gondola and then on to Lyttleton. I did not realise at the time that the earthquake that had flattened Christchurch in 2011 was actually centred on Lyttleton. It looked like a sleepy little port town, but in hindsight it was just still recovering.
We meant to take the ferry to Diamond Harbour but managed to miss it by literally one minute, and they were still operating on a holiday timetable so the next one wouldn't be for an hour. It was boiling hot and there was nothing to do, so I decided to drive all the way around the bays. The 8-minute ferry ride took 40 minutes by car, and we discovered that Diamond Harbour was just as boring as Lyttleton; the only difference was you could swim by the wharf. The youngest -- who would normally jump at the chance -- decided to take a nap in the car; I think he's having a bit of a growth spurt. The middle child is still a water baby, and happily leapt off the wharf repeatedly. (When I was growing up, most 16 year old girls only went to the beach to get tan, and would never consider going in the water.)
The only excitement that day was getting home: I had to return the car by 6pm or pay a late fee. It was 5pm and we were an hour away. Thankfully there was no traffic and I was able to drop the kids and stuff at the house and got the car back at 6pm on the dot. I also found someone had left a Lime scooter nearby, so I didn't have to walk 20 minutes back to the house. :-)
The Founder’s Paradox uses gaming to reflect on competing political visions for New Zealand’s future. Berlin-based New Zealand artist Simon Denny uses the visual language of board games to reflect on new mythologies of the entrepreneurial founder as well as the changing role of the nation state in a time of political uncertainty. Denny’s sculptures, prints and paintings collapse together fantasy imagery with expansionist ambition – an uneasy polemic which has long had particular resonance in the South Island of New Zealand, which is increasingly being looked to as a bolt-hole for Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. In an increasingly fractured and fractious world, the neoliberal status quo in New Zealand and further afield is beginning to be questioned at both ends of the political spectrum. Denny’s work reflects on competing political visions for New Zealand’s future within a volatile social climate destabilised by new technologies.
I would say this: Using the metaphor of board games such as Life, Magic and Catan, Denny delivers a damning criticism of modern society. For example, on the cover art of "Life" he shows one person in a mansion and the rest falling in a chasm. The detail and complexity was overwhelming, but always spot-on.
We went to a Mexican restaurant and had the most amazing feast. That evening we went to the cinema and saw, "Ralph Breaks the Internet" which I quite enjoyed, but the kids didn't. We got out of the cinema at 10pm to find the bus stopped running at 9:52pm! There were too many of us for a taxi, and two taxis was going to cost us $50. There was another bus which dropped us about 20 minutes from the house, so we waited for that. I told the driver where we were going and he told us to stay on the bus; it was his last shift and he'd take us home after. Only in New Zealand.
On January 2, the eldest was heading to Auckland so we dropped her at the airport in the morning and took the other two to the Christchurch gondola and then on to Lyttleton. I did not realise at the time that the earthquake that had flattened Christchurch in 2011 was actually centred on Lyttleton. It looked like a sleepy little port town, but in hindsight it was just still recovering.
We meant to take the ferry to Diamond Harbour but managed to miss it by literally one minute, and they were still operating on a holiday timetable so the next one wouldn't be for an hour. It was boiling hot and there was nothing to do, so I decided to drive all the way around the bays. The 8-minute ferry ride took 40 minutes by car, and we discovered that Diamond Harbour was just as boring as Lyttleton; the only difference was you could swim by the wharf. The youngest -- who would normally jump at the chance -- decided to take a nap in the car; I think he's having a bit of a growth spurt. The middle child is still a water baby, and happily leapt off the wharf repeatedly. (When I was growing up, most 16 year old girls only went to the beach to get tan, and would never consider going in the water.)
The only excitement that day was getting home: I had to return the car by 6pm or pay a late fee. It was 5pm and we were an hour away. Thankfully there was no traffic and I was able to drop the kids and stuff at the house and got the car back at 6pm on the dot. I also found someone had left a Lime scooter nearby, so I didn't have to walk 20 minutes back to the house. :-)
Thursday morning the kids went to the pool with my partner. I came over later, only to find what I thought was a boring regional pool was actually a major complex with three pools, several water slides, a volleyball court and more! In the afternoon we took an uber into town (since there were now only four of us) and visited Quake City, which tried to describe the earthquake and its aftermath. In the end, it was too massive, too big a scale for us to comprehend. I read a statistic that of the 140,000 houses, 45% were damaged and 10% -- 14,000 -- were demolished. Some were rebuilt; many were not.
In the afternoon, we did Blokarting. A pun on "gokarting," a blokart has no engine but uses a sail for power. I wasn't quite sure how it was going to go -- and my partner was trying to weasel out -- but it turned out to be a blast for everyone. When the wind was blowing, you could really get some speed, and when turning the cart often went up on two wheels and skidded in the gravel, which was brilliant fun. It took a few minutes to get the hang of it but the kids were naturals, and it was hard to pass them. Sadly, I'm a bit competitive and I cheated; hearing their howls of protest behind me was very gratifying. The middle child decided turnabout was fair play and she tried the same cheat, but being half as heavy as me her kart went up one two wheels and I was certain she was going to flip it. (Somehow she got it back down.)
More than that, the blokarting was inside the "red zone," the eastern suburbs hardest hit by the earthquake. Just wandering around, you could see gaps like missing teeth in some roads, but other roads were closed and it just looked like a meadow. The only sign that there had ever been houses there were the streets and power lines still running through.
Friday morning the other two were headed for Auckland, and they had to be at the airport at 5:30am. Yoogo was offering an overnight special (8pm-8am) so I booked it and in the evening I took the middle child out driving. (She just got her learner's permit.) That night she mastered turn signals and discovered she was driving an automatic. (For some reason she assumed it was a manual.) She also went on-road for the first time -- it was about 25 meters, it was 10pm, there wasn't a soul around and she was absolutely freaking out.
We all packed that night, because my partner and I were trading in the 3-bed house for a romantic hotel room in town. I say "romantic" but when I was working in Runcorn in the UK, I racked up so many points with Holiday Inn they gave me "platinum elite" status, which even four years later gets me free upgrades. So I booked the cheapest room at the Crowne Plaza and they gave us a lovely room on the 13th floor*.
We dredged ourselves up at some ungodly hour, somehow got to the airport at 5:30am, dropped the kids, came back to the house, my partner went to the pool and I took our luggage (which had grown expansively after the kids decided they didn't need certain things on camp) to the hotel. I got back, returned the car, met my partner at the pool, and we took the bus back into town. We went to the "cardboard cathedral" (officially the "transitional cathedral") which was built two years after the earthquake, while the city struggled to decide with what to do with the original cathedral that was so badly damaged in the quake. (Spoiler alert: They still haven't decided.) It claims to seat 700, and the walls are actually shipping containers and the roof is perspex (plexiglass). The original architect wanted to use cardboard tubes as a structural element to support the roof, but they couldn't find a local manufacturer who could make the cardboard strong enough, and the cost of shipping it from Germany was too high, so the cardboard tubes are now just artistic elements which hide the wooden beams. That said, it still has great proportions and is a very serene space.
The day was much cooler (22C/72F instead of 29C/84F) so we walked around town, through the botanics and the museum. For dinner, a friend recommended a Burmese restaurant which was quite nice.
Saturday it was 33C/91F so we decided to go to Hanmer Springs. We'd done no research and it probably wasn't the best thought-out plan: Hanmer Springs is famous for its natural hot pools, but who wants to sit in a hot pool on a hot day? But before we could do that, we had to go to synagogue.
The Canterbury Hebrew Congregation (who probably don't like having "Christchurch" as part of their name) was established in 1864. Never terribly large, they did have a beautiful building from 1864-1987, but they decided to demolish it and build a new one. The new one was damaged in the earthquake and closed for two years, but reopened in 2013. One of its features was a stone ark (where the Torah scrolls are located) but it smashed in the earthquake and still has not been rebuilt. (The congregation had to get special permission to enter the building after the earthquake to retrieve the scrolls.) They are officially "conservative" but some of the members consider themselves progressive, and so I wanted to meet some of these people. Because synagogues are universally wary of visitors, I contacted them several weeks ago to let them know I was coming. I got a response that it would probably be pretty light over the holidays, but I was welcome to come.
So I came, and I was standing outside the closed gates on Saturday at 10am wondering what was going on. We called the synagogue but there was no answer. I sent an email to the person who originally contacted me, but didn't hear back. My partner had the phone number of a parent whose daughter is also going to Israel, so we contacted her and she was out of town but told us there were no services today. Unbelievable!
So we got the car and drove to Hanmer Springs, arriving about 3pm. I don't know if there are natural pools or what; all I know is we followed the sat nav to a facility that had a dozen pools, each with its own "profile." The cashier explained that the water came up from a bore at 70-80C, and they used a heat exchanger to cool that water and heat up tap water, then they progressively filtered the water. Thus, some pools were 34C/94F and others were 40C/104F; some were netural mineral water, others were tap water. Some stank of sulphur, others of chlorine. And more importantly, some were chock full of kids, and others were adults only. We spent most of our time in the spa pool, which had the biggest jets I'd ever experienced. They installed a rail for you to hang on to; otherwise you'd just get pushed away!
We stayed until about 6pm, then drove back to Christchurch and had dinner at the Little High eatery. It seems like everything that was created for convenience or affordability has to be "reinvented" as a fancy version of itself. Little High describes itself as, "Christchurch's newest and most unique space to eat out. There's nothing else like this. Experience eight different local and family-run businesses inside our modern marketplace with plenty of shared seating." What it should say is "posh food court." Next thing you know, they'll be putting posh food trucks inside a posh food court! (That said, my partner said the pad thai was the best she ever had, and I had a delicious tempura vegetable bao bun.)
The evening, I had to stay up until midnight to change our flight home. When I booked it on Air New Zealand, I found a very strange option called "flexitime." Basically, on the day of the flight you could change it to any available flight that day at no cost. The Sunday flight at 7:35am with "flexitime" was much cheaper than the Sunday 4pm flight, so I booked that. Obviously I didn't want to fly home at 7:35am, so at midnight I logged onto the Air New Zealand website and moved my reservation to the 4pm flight. Job done, and I saved myself $200. :-)
So now we had most of Sunday to play with, and we knew exactly what we wanted to do: Go back to the Red Zone. We ended up in Avonside, wandering deserted streets that used to be a subdivision, taking photos of an abandoned play area in what used to be a park. A large tree was growing in front of what used to be a swing. It was surreal, like an episode of the Twilight Zone.
The problem was liquefaction. I'd heard about this in Los Angeles, but never understood what it meant. Basically (and not scientifically), the soil is in layers, and during a prolonged earthquake those layers get shaken up. Imagine a fish tank with a layer of water at the bottom, then a layer of gravel, then a layer of sand. The sand is dry and if you press down on it, it feels quite solid. Now shake the fish tank: the sand gets wet and slips into the gravel, creating a soupy mess. If you press down it, it just squeezes between your fingers. That's liquefaction, and any buildings suddenly lose support, while mud seeps up through the cracks. The EQC (the earthquake commission established in 1993) set a maximum displacement of 50mm (about two inches) for every 10 meters of flooring: If a building fell more than that, it was "red flagged" (not habitable) and eventually demolished.
They then sent a van with a soil probe to map out the area. Any place that had suffered liquefaction was "red zoned" and could not be built on. As I said, the scale was overwhelming:
A lot of people simply moved out of Christchurch. And no wonder: many residents did not have water or power for a month after the earthquake; there were 11,000 aftershocks recorded in the first two years, with more than 30 being magnitude 5.0 or higher; the CBD (central business district) was inaccessible for over two years; Lyttleton Port, the main transportation hub, is still not fully functional. Christchurch lost 2.4% of its population after the earthquakes. Last week I read an article that Cantabrians (people who live in the Canterbury region, where Christchurch is) top the list of antidepressant use. When you consider it's half the size of Auckland, but more people are on antidepressants, that's staggering. Leaving the red zone, we still couldn't get our heads around the size or scale of what had happened.
If Wellington suffered a major quake, we've already been told it could be months before fresh water could be restored, and the two major highways out of town would likely be cut off by landslips so we'd have to way to leave. But that's just the immediate issue of survival; what about the long-term issues? What if every fourth house on our street became an empty lot? Or if every house on our street was demolished? How would we cope if the earth shook two or three times a day for years? The human mind can't fathom it.
On that sad note, we said goodbyes and headed to the airport. I'm used to domestic flights in New Zealand being very laid back: The security screening is minimal, they let you bring liquids, etc. However, on this flight the security was non-existent! You checked in, declared you weren't carrying any dangerous goods, and then boarded the flight! To be fair, it was a prop plane with only about 60 people on it, so they probably just didn't care, but it felt weird.
The advantage of a prop plane is that it flies lower than a jet, so you can actually see some of the landscape. Unfortunately, I immediately fell asleep and didn't wake up until we were landing. (Prop plans also get blown around by the wind a lot more, so that was fun.) Wellington recently reorganised all of its bus routes for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and the Karori bus -- which used to go to Lyall Bay -- now goes past the airport, so we just hopped on that. For $4, it was the best bargain we'd had the whole vacation!
Hopefully I'll get the photos downloaded and post some soon.
* Only in America do they skip the 13th floor.
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Akaroa and Irish dancing
The next day was December 31 and we were driving to an extinct volcano, about two hours away. I'd reserved the yoogo for 9am and I was hoping to be in Akaroa by 11am. However, the first hurdle was picking up the car: The carpark exit was blocked by a large swing gate that was padlocked! The reservation had given me a "gate code" but didn't say anything about padlocks. Silly me, it took ten minutes before I turned the padlock over to find it was a combination lock, and the "gate code" was the combination!
I picked up the family and headed off...but first we needed to run some errands. We needed to get a new memory card for my camera (in ten years I'd never filled the card, but the kids had managed to do it in 40 minutes during the helicopter ride); we needed provisions for a picnic lunch; and my eldest needed passport photos for her Israeli visa. In addition, my partner had been watching Trademe (the local equivalent of eBay) for a backpack for her to take to Israel. Last night she found one, and it was in Christchurch, but we could only pick it up that morning.
The previous night I had devised a very cunning plan: There was a tech store, a supermarket and a post office all near the pickup for the backup. I would drop my son at the tech store; I would drop my partner at the grocery store; I would pick up the backpack and then take my eldest to the post office, as they do passport photos. The tech store said it was open at 9am, we got there at 9:30am, and the sign on the door said they'd open at 10am. My partner wanted to see the backpack so we had to go out of our way to pick that up first, then come back to the grocery store. The post office was cleverly hidden inside another building with no signage, and when we finally found it they told us they didn't know what the photo requirements were for Israel and sent us elsewhere. (They also wouldn't give her an 18+ card because, although they asked for proof of ID--and I'd brought her passport--what they really wanted was proof of address, which I didn't have.)
They referred us to a camera shop nearby where we got the photo taken, but they said it would be 10 minutes until they were ready. I left the kids at the mall while I went and picked up my partner at the supermarket, and when I got back 10 minutes later the photos were ready but the kids were nowhere in sight. I found two but the eldest wasn't answering her phone, and after looking in every store I was pretty furious. I announced we were going without her, texted her the address and door code for the Airbnb, and headed for the car. Needless to say, she was at the car; she'd left her phone inside the car, so had no way to contact me, but she she saw the car in the parking lot and decided to wait for us there.
We went back to the tech store, which was now open, but they didn't have the memory card I wanted so I ended up spending twice as much for a bigger card. It was also now 11am and we were just getting on the road. After a quick stop at the Barry Bay cheese stop, we got to Akaroa at 1pm and we were supposed to be on the boat at 1:30pm.
I'd heard about "range anxiety" for electric car owners, but of course had never experienced it. The Hyundai Ioniq had a 200km range, and it was 87km to Akaro. Factor in all the errands that morning, and it was pretty tight. However, I'd done my homework, found there was a charging site in Akaroa (right next to the wharf), and had signed up so I could use it. (Amazingly, it was free!) I pulled up, sent the kids off to eat, and then spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out how to plug it in. I finally gave up and called the help line, only to get an automated recording telling me there was a problem with the charger in Akaroa. Even if I had figured it out, I could only park in the charging spot for 60 minutes, and the boat ride was three hours! So I finally gave up, moved the car (the only other parking I could find was a ten minute walk uphill) and met the kids at the ferry terminal.
We were here for a "swimming with dolphins" experience. Unlike other places where you are effectively in a pool with captive dolphins--which sounds horrific--this outfit took you into the harbour, dropped you in the water, and let the wild dolphins come to you. However, being a sunny summer's day, there were a lot of boats in the water and the cashier we spoke to said the morning ferry had no luck at all, so it was very unlikely we'd see anything and she'd give us a refund if we wanted.
The kids wanted to go anyway, in case there was a chance, but I said I wasn't paying $600 per person for them to just go swimming in the harbour. The lovely cashier booked us on a harbour cruise instead, and gave us a 25% discount as well. We had an hour wait so I got lunch, the kids got ice cream, and my partner got antihistamines. Something in Christchurch was not agreeing with her--she's never had allergies, but her eyes and nose were both streaming. A friend had recommended the Giant's House, which I didn't know anything about, so we walked 15 minutes only to find there was a $20 admission so we turned around and walked 15 minutes back.
The cruise was great and, because we went all the way to the harbour mouth, we got to see some dolphins. Unfortunately, there were some big swells at the harbour mouth and I got very seasick, so I ended up inside the cabin whilst the rest of the family were outside taking photos. (Once we were back in the harbour, I was fine.)
We got in the car and headed home. I knew there was another charging station along the way, in a town called Little River, so I stopped there just to be on the safe side. The charger had three different connections and I still had no idea what I was doing, but I eventually managed to get it charging. (I realised later I was on trickle charge.) After about half an hour of sitting there -- the "town" consisted of a restaurant and a petrol station, probably both owned by the same person -- another car pulled up to use the charger, and so I tried to unplug it, except I couldn't! It was somehow locked, and there was nothing in the user manual about unlocking it! The other couple had a different car and never had that issue, so they were no help, but they were annoyed that I was in their way. (The charger had two cables but I'd pulled up at a very bad angle, so they couldn't get their car close enough.) I finally called the help line and he suggested turning the car off and back on, which magically did the trick. When I had disconnected it, after half an hour of charging, I found the range had gone from 90km to 98km.
That was part 1 of the day; part 2 was a New Year's Eve celebration at A Rolling Stone, an Irish pub that was hosting a "cieli," the Irish equivalent of a Scottish Cèilidh (pronounce kay-lee). I'd only been to one Cèilidh before, but it was a lot of fun, and it was the only family-friendly event I could find. (Once we were in Christchurch, we'd discovered the town was hosting its own NYE celebration in the park, with music and fireworks, and it was free. Unfortunately they hadn't published this anywhere online!) The ceili started at 7pm but we had dinner at home and didn't arrive until 10pm, which turned out to be fine because the whole thing was poorly organised, the instructor made it very complex, and she brought some of her students which just made the rest of us look like idiots. The eldest - now a month from being 18 - wanted alcohol, so we indulged her. (New Zealand follows the European model, where parents can buy kids alcohol at practically any age.) When I offered another round later, she was over the alcohol and just wanted a soda.
When we left, there was a group of women in the parking lot comforting one girl who was vomiting everywhere. I don't think any of the kids will drink to excess, but hopefully that image will stay with them for a while...
We got home around 1am. I didn't have to return the car until 8am, but I decided to take care of it that evening and I was glad I did: We all slept until about noon the next day!
I picked up the family and headed off...but first we needed to run some errands. We needed to get a new memory card for my camera (in ten years I'd never filled the card, but the kids had managed to do it in 40 minutes during the helicopter ride); we needed provisions for a picnic lunch; and my eldest needed passport photos for her Israeli visa. In addition, my partner had been watching Trademe (the local equivalent of eBay) for a backpack for her to take to Israel. Last night she found one, and it was in Christchurch, but we could only pick it up that morning.
The previous night I had devised a very cunning plan: There was a tech store, a supermarket and a post office all near the pickup for the backup. I would drop my son at the tech store; I would drop my partner at the grocery store; I would pick up the backpack and then take my eldest to the post office, as they do passport photos. The tech store said it was open at 9am, we got there at 9:30am, and the sign on the door said they'd open at 10am. My partner wanted to see the backpack so we had to go out of our way to pick that up first, then come back to the grocery store. The post office was cleverly hidden inside another building with no signage, and when we finally found it they told us they didn't know what the photo requirements were for Israel and sent us elsewhere. (They also wouldn't give her an 18+ card because, although they asked for proof of ID--and I'd brought her passport--what they really wanted was proof of address, which I didn't have.)
They referred us to a camera shop nearby where we got the photo taken, but they said it would be 10 minutes until they were ready. I left the kids at the mall while I went and picked up my partner at the supermarket, and when I got back 10 minutes later the photos were ready but the kids were nowhere in sight. I found two but the eldest wasn't answering her phone, and after looking in every store I was pretty furious. I announced we were going without her, texted her the address and door code for the Airbnb, and headed for the car. Needless to say, she was at the car; she'd left her phone inside the car, so had no way to contact me, but she she saw the car in the parking lot and decided to wait for us there.
We went back to the tech store, which was now open, but they didn't have the memory card I wanted so I ended up spending twice as much for a bigger card. It was also now 11am and we were just getting on the road. After a quick stop at the Barry Bay cheese stop, we got to Akaroa at 1pm and we were supposed to be on the boat at 1:30pm.
I'd heard about "range anxiety" for electric car owners, but of course had never experienced it. The Hyundai Ioniq had a 200km range, and it was 87km to Akaro. Factor in all the errands that morning, and it was pretty tight. However, I'd done my homework, found there was a charging site in Akaroa (right next to the wharf), and had signed up so I could use it. (Amazingly, it was free!) I pulled up, sent the kids off to eat, and then spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out how to plug it in. I finally gave up and called the help line, only to get an automated recording telling me there was a problem with the charger in Akaroa. Even if I had figured it out, I could only park in the charging spot for 60 minutes, and the boat ride was three hours! So I finally gave up, moved the car (the only other parking I could find was a ten minute walk uphill) and met the kids at the ferry terminal.
We were here for a "swimming with dolphins" experience. Unlike other places where you are effectively in a pool with captive dolphins--which sounds horrific--this outfit took you into the harbour, dropped you in the water, and let the wild dolphins come to you. However, being a sunny summer's day, there were a lot of boats in the water and the cashier we spoke to said the morning ferry had no luck at all, so it was very unlikely we'd see anything and she'd give us a refund if we wanted.
The kids wanted to go anyway, in case there was a chance, but I said I wasn't paying $600 per person for them to just go swimming in the harbour. The lovely cashier booked us on a harbour cruise instead, and gave us a 25% discount as well. We had an hour wait so I got lunch, the kids got ice cream, and my partner got antihistamines. Something in Christchurch was not agreeing with her--she's never had allergies, but her eyes and nose were both streaming. A friend had recommended the Giant's House, which I didn't know anything about, so we walked 15 minutes only to find there was a $20 admission so we turned around and walked 15 minutes back.
The cruise was great and, because we went all the way to the harbour mouth, we got to see some dolphins. Unfortunately, there were some big swells at the harbour mouth and I got very seasick, so I ended up inside the cabin whilst the rest of the family were outside taking photos. (Once we were back in the harbour, I was fine.)
We got in the car and headed home. I knew there was another charging station along the way, in a town called Little River, so I stopped there just to be on the safe side. The charger had three different connections and I still had no idea what I was doing, but I eventually managed to get it charging. (I realised later I was on trickle charge.) After about half an hour of sitting there -- the "town" consisted of a restaurant and a petrol station, probably both owned by the same person -- another car pulled up to use the charger, and so I tried to unplug it, except I couldn't! It was somehow locked, and there was nothing in the user manual about unlocking it! The other couple had a different car and never had that issue, so they were no help, but they were annoyed that I was in their way. (The charger had two cables but I'd pulled up at a very bad angle, so they couldn't get their car close enough.) I finally called the help line and he suggested turning the car off and back on, which magically did the trick. When I had disconnected it, after half an hour of charging, I found the range had gone from 90km to 98km.
That was part 1 of the day; part 2 was a New Year's Eve celebration at A Rolling Stone, an Irish pub that was hosting a "cieli," the Irish equivalent of a Scottish Cèilidh (pronounce kay-lee). I'd only been to one Cèilidh before, but it was a lot of fun, and it was the only family-friendly event I could find. (Once we were in Christchurch, we'd discovered the town was hosting its own NYE celebration in the park, with music and fireworks, and it was free. Unfortunately they hadn't published this anywhere online!) The ceili started at 7pm but we had dinner at home and didn't arrive until 10pm, which turned out to be fine because the whole thing was poorly organised, the instructor made it very complex, and she brought some of her students which just made the rest of us look like idiots. The eldest - now a month from being 18 - wanted alcohol, so we indulged her. (New Zealand follows the European model, where parents can buy kids alcohol at practically any age.) When I offered another round later, she was over the alcohol and just wanted a soda.
When we left, there was a group of women in the parking lot comforting one girl who was vomiting everywhere. I don't think any of the kids will drink to excess, but hopefully that image will stay with them for a while...
We got home around 1am. I didn't have to return the car until 8am, but I decided to take care of it that evening and I was glad I did: We all slept until about noon the next day!
Monday, January 7, 2019
Chch
Apart from the late start, the train to Christchurch was uneventful, but it was the most kiwi thing I'd ever experienced. New Zealand really does "punch above its weight" -- with only 4 million souls, it's 125th in terms of population but 52nd in terms of GDP. This is accomplished by doing things slightly differently, using "number 8 wire" as the kiwis say. So when it came to creating an "observation car" for its scenic train, it didn't go for a fancy carriage wrapped in glass. No, it went for a freight car where they literally cut out holes for windows.
Stepping into the car, the wind and noise was horrific, and yet it was packed with people. The train runs in winter and they warn people it gets freezing cold, but thankfully it was summer We went through several tunnels and it was almost pitch black, but you could still see the walls less than a foot away. And you know what? It was just as cool as those fancy glass carriages.
The other very kiwi thing is that the train provided a brilliant audio commentary on the landscape and Maori history, but it wasn't on the whole time so there was a TV in the corner that showed the train's progress, and a green bar was displayed when the audio commentary was on. So I'd take off my headset, then twenty minutes later someone would see the green bar and I'd scramble to get my headset on only to catch the last two minutes of the commentary, with no idea what they were talking about.
We arrived at 9pm and my plan was to grab a taxi, but of course there were five of us and no taxi would fit all of our luggage, never mind us. Thankfully there was a shuttle van, and he took us to the back of beyond before dropping us at our Airbnb. It was actually quite nice -- the other three drops were in town, so we got to see a teaser of Christchurch. The first impression was that it was flat -- built on the Canterbury plains, there wasn't a hill in sight. The second impression was that it was quite large; the CBD (central business district) was significantly larger than Wellington's. it was bounded on the west side by Hagley Park, which is bigger than Hyde Park in London, and only slightly smaller than Central Park in New York. The third impression was that there was no nightlife at all. Even at 9:30pm, and just after sundown, there was very little traffic and everything was very quiet.
But the biggest impression was that everybody rode Lime scooters. If you're outside the US, you may not know what these are: Electric scooters that you can rent by the minute and leave anywhere you want. In October, Christchurch and Auckland were the first two cities in the Asia Pacific region to get them. (Presumably they skipped Wellington because the scooters don't do well on hills.) Less than three months later, it seemed nobody in Christchurch was walking but they were all buzzing around silently. The kids immediately wanted to try them out.
We got to the Airbnb and found six bags of groceries waiting for us -- I'd ordered them online before we left -- so we made a quick meal and went to bed. I'd even asked the owners to leave us some milk so we we could have cereal in the morning. Considering we got a 3-bed house with full kitchen and living room for about the same price as a hotel room, it was remarkable. The only downside was that it was 5km (3 miles) outside of town, which was too far to walk, and the Lime scooters rarely made it out this far. (We couldn't have used them anyway.) There were too many of us to take a taxi or uber, but there was a regular bus service into down and for excursions I'd signed up to yoogo.
Zipcar hasn't come to New Zealand yet, so instead we have a couple of regional start-ups: yoogo in Christchurch, Mevo in Wellington, CityHop in Auckland. (We also have "Roam," which is like Airbnb for cars.) Yoogo had three advantages: No sign-up fee, all the vehicles were electric (so no fuel cost) and the daily rate was less than the cost of a car rental. I expect the latter was because Christchurch was so busy, the car rental agencies had really jacked up their rates: It was $95/day for a yoogo and $105 for a rental car.
But the first day we didn't need a car, we just caught the bus into town. We spent the entire day being tourists: We took a tram ride around town, checked out the cathedral, punted along the Avon, had ice cream at the Arts Centre and on New Regent St, did a little shopping and had lunch at Burgerfuel. (This is one of our "go to" places in Wellington, so it may seem odd to go there on holiday, but keep in mind we have to cater for two vegetarian coeliacs. We'd looked at four cafes before choosing Burgerfuel.)
(I should note we don't go out very often, and in fact it had been so long that our 14-year-old ordered his regular children's burger, only to realise that he's grown significantly and that no longer fills him up!)
We enjoyed Christchurch so much that we didn't get back to the house until about 9pm. I was shattered but my partner somehow had the energy to make dinner (a green curry with rice) and we ate it at 10pm, huddled around my laptop watching an episode of Doctor Who.
Stepping into the car, the wind and noise was horrific, and yet it was packed with people. The train runs in winter and they warn people it gets freezing cold, but thankfully it was summer We went through several tunnels and it was almost pitch black, but you could still see the walls less than a foot away. And you know what? It was just as cool as those fancy glass carriages.
The other very kiwi thing is that the train provided a brilliant audio commentary on the landscape and Maori history, but it wasn't on the whole time so there was a TV in the corner that showed the train's progress, and a green bar was displayed when the audio commentary was on. So I'd take off my headset, then twenty minutes later someone would see the green bar and I'd scramble to get my headset on only to catch the last two minutes of the commentary, with no idea what they were talking about.
We arrived at 9pm and my plan was to grab a taxi, but of course there were five of us and no taxi would fit all of our luggage, never mind us. Thankfully there was a shuttle van, and he took us to the back of beyond before dropping us at our Airbnb. It was actually quite nice -- the other three drops were in town, so we got to see a teaser of Christchurch. The first impression was that it was flat -- built on the Canterbury plains, there wasn't a hill in sight. The second impression was that it was quite large; the CBD (central business district) was significantly larger than Wellington's. it was bounded on the west side by Hagley Park, which is bigger than Hyde Park in London, and only slightly smaller than Central Park in New York. The third impression was that there was no nightlife at all. Even at 9:30pm, and just after sundown, there was very little traffic and everything was very quiet.
But the biggest impression was that everybody rode Lime scooters. If you're outside the US, you may not know what these are: Electric scooters that you can rent by the minute and leave anywhere you want. In October, Christchurch and Auckland were the first two cities in the Asia Pacific region to get them. (Presumably they skipped Wellington because the scooters don't do well on hills.) Less than three months later, it seemed nobody in Christchurch was walking but they were all buzzing around silently. The kids immediately wanted to try them out.
We got to the Airbnb and found six bags of groceries waiting for us -- I'd ordered them online before we left -- so we made a quick meal and went to bed. I'd even asked the owners to leave us some milk so we we could have cereal in the morning. Considering we got a 3-bed house with full kitchen and living room for about the same price as a hotel room, it was remarkable. The only downside was that it was 5km (3 miles) outside of town, which was too far to walk, and the Lime scooters rarely made it out this far. (We couldn't have used them anyway.) There were too many of us to take a taxi or uber, but there was a regular bus service into down and for excursions I'd signed up to yoogo.
Zipcar hasn't come to New Zealand yet, so instead we have a couple of regional start-ups: yoogo in Christchurch, Mevo in Wellington, CityHop in Auckland. (We also have "Roam," which is like Airbnb for cars.) Yoogo had three advantages: No sign-up fee, all the vehicles were electric (so no fuel cost) and the daily rate was less than the cost of a car rental. I expect the latter was because Christchurch was so busy, the car rental agencies had really jacked up their rates: It was $95/day for a yoogo and $105 for a rental car.
But the first day we didn't need a car, we just caught the bus into town. We spent the entire day being tourists: We took a tram ride around town, checked out the cathedral, punted along the Avon, had ice cream at the Arts Centre and on New Regent St, did a little shopping and had lunch at Burgerfuel. (This is one of our "go to" places in Wellington, so it may seem odd to go there on holiday, but keep in mind we have to cater for two vegetarian coeliacs. We'd looked at four cafes before choosing Burgerfuel.)
(I should note we don't go out very often, and in fact it had been so long that our 14-year-old ordered his regular children's burger, only to realise that he's grown significantly and that no longer fills him up!)
We enjoyed Christchurch so much that we didn't get back to the house until about 9pm. I was shattered but my partner somehow had the energy to make dinner (a green curry with rice) and we ate it at 10pm, huddled around my laptop watching an episode of Doctor Who.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Kaikoura
The Coastal Pacific train runs once a day, and takes six hours from Picton to Christchurch, which is a long time without wifi for three teenagers. Fortunately it allowed a stopover in Kaikoura, and by "stopover" I mean you could get off and catch the next train 24 hours later. Or in our case, 48 hours. (Oddly, it was cheaper to break the train journey into two segments.)
As I mentioned, although Kaikoura is a small town, it is a huge tourist destination because of the Hikurangi Trench. Much like the canyon at Monterey Bay, Califonia, the Hikurangi Trench directs nutrient-rich sediment which supports abundant wildlife including crayfish (rock lobsters), dolphins and whales. (I later learned the best time to visit was autumn; during the summer only male sperm whales were present.) The town has a permanent population of about 3,600 people, it can see 900,000 tourists in a year!
Humorously, I booked the ferry and train first and then discovered there was no accommodation in Kaikoura that could accommodate the five of us. There wasn't even a hotel with two rooms free! Since the kids were already bringing sleeping bags, I suggested we bring tents and sleep on the beach, but my partner pointed out the kids were already packing for nineteen days and would not have any more space. In the end, I found a motel room that slept three but looked like it could hold five. I once smuggled a six-foot iguana into a motel, so I figured two kids would be easy.
Needless to say, everything that could go wrong, did. It wasn't a motel per se, with independent access for each room, but instead you had to go through the lobby, past the receptionist, into a courtyard, and our room was on the second floor. We had a small mountain of luggage -- the kids each took a large suitcase, a big duffel bag, and a sleeping bag -- and the shuttle dropped us right in front of the lobby. I had hoped there would be no need to tell the kids about my duplicitous plan, so of course they started unloading the luggage in full view of the receiptionist! I immediately suffled two of them out of sight, but as I was checking in I looked up to see one of the kids skateboarding around the parking lot!
(That my partner let him bring his skateboard is a whole other discussion...)
I found a back entrance so I sent my partner and one kid through the lobby and took the other two kids around back. Just as we were comng in, the receptionist was coming out to help another couple, who spoke no english. Thankfully, the eldest had cottoned on to what was happening and immediately split off and went elsewhere, dragging the youngest with her. I knew he was getting upset -- like his mom, he does not like being dishonest -- so I needed to get him inside quickly before he made a scene. The eldest went up another staircase but found it did not connect to our room, so we found ourselves making hand signals at the top of the stairs while the receptionist was standing below us, oblivious. You could not make this stuff up.
The receptionist finally went back inside and the kids went downstairs and back up the correct stairs and when we were finally in the room I explained what was happening. I almost had the youngest under control when my partner flipped out and demanded, in front of the kids, I go tell the receptionist what was going on. Perhaps I could have negotiated before I'd paid -- she wouldn't want the room to go unoccupied -- but at this point she could have turfed us out and kept the money, so I wasn't going to do that. After a few minutes of heated arguing -- again in front of the kids -- I went out. The two older kids, who inherited their level of honesty from their father, went with me. The youngest was hiding under the bed.
Needless to say, we did not go out to dinner that night as planned. Instead we invited the kids to pick over what was left from the picnic lunch we'd brought on the train. I'd picked up some milk so I think one of the kids had cereal. It was an unceremonious start to the holiday.
The next day, after a good night's sleep, everyone was a bit calmer. We had breakfast in the room (it had a kitchenette) then we all went out the back entrance and walked into town. After a bit of shopping, we checked out every cafe on the high street, but being a coastal town founded on seafood, finding something vegetarian and gluten free proved elusive, which is how we ended up in a sushi restaurant. The little old Japanese lady was hand-rolling to order, and it turned out to be the best sushi I'd had in New Zealand.
We then walked back to the train station, which is where the whale watch tour departed from, but they were cancelling trips because of rough seas, including ours. The kids were gutted, but I remembered the helicopters and walked over to see if they had any spaces. It was twice as much as the boat, but my partner and I didn't think we could stomach a helicopter ride anyway, so we just booked the kids. The helicopter people then told us they were only tracking one sperm whale, that they tend to dive for about 45 minutes, that the helicopter ride was only 40 minutes long, and there were no refunds.
Forty-five minutes later, after a "safety briefing" that literally featured plastic models of whales and a giant squid, they boarded the helicopter and flew off into the distance. We asked the folks who had just gotten off the helicopter how it was, and they told us they hadn't seen a thing. We were gutted.
Thankfully, the kids not only saw the sperm whale, but watched him dive as well. (After floating on the surface for 15 minutes, he arches his back and goes under, then comes up one last time to expel any air [so his lungs don't explode in the depths] and dives at a steep angle, which is when you see the famous "whale tail.") They also saw a massive nursery pod of dolphins and a bunch of fur seals. I'd given them my SLR and they'd taken so many photos, they'd filled up my memory card, which is something I'd never done in ten years!
We went back to the hotel and celebrated by making nachos in the microwave for dinner. (I should note that neither my partner nor I have owned a microwave in the past thirty years, so we aren't very experienced with it and the nachos were...interesting.) We packed our bags so we'd be ready to check out early, as we had a big day the next day.
I should probably note, to avoid any pretence of a "Facebook family," that the children were absolute snots. If we weren't actively buying them something, they were being rude and obnoxious. Of course, it wasn't all three of them all the time, but at least one or two were being unpleasant at any given point. I kind of expect that from teenagers but my partner takes it very personally, and so there was a good deal of yelling, which is when I have to get involved to let the kids know, in no uncertain terms, that mom can yell at them all she wants and they are not to yell back. I don't like being the big bad bear -- it does affect my nerves -- but it's an unavoidable part of parenting teenagers, especially on holiday. Everyone was getting a bit frayed, and it was only day two of nine.
The next day the shuttle arrived at 7:45am. I'd already secreted all the luggage around the back and the kids had all snuck out around the back, which turned out to be for nothing because reception didn't open until 8:30am! The shuttle took us back to the train station to stash our luggage for the day, and then dropped us off at Kaikoura Kayaks, which was going to take us on a "half-day expedition" to see fur seals. However, that half day turned out to be mostly waiting for people to show up, driving to the drop-off point, going through safety and rowing demonstration, getting dressed and launching the kayaks. In the end we had about an hour on the water, but that was more than enough for my old bones.
The weather was perfect but, not knowing any better, I'd opted for a waterproof parka along with the neoprene skirt and life vest. After 20 minutes I was overheating, and it was a lot of work paddling around the surf. Thankfully, once we got to the seal community we could relax for a bit, and watching the seals (actually a type of sea lion) in its native habitat was exhilirating. Coming back was when we found out how the earthquake had affected the area: It was high tide at the time, and the guide said that was the equivalent of low tide before the earthquake. That is, the sea bed had risen so much that features that used to be submerged all the time were now only submerged at high tide! Of course the irony is that since it was high tide at that time, it looked the same as before the earthquake...
We finished at noon, had a bite to eat, my son said he was going skateboarding at a little skate park and the daughters said they were going shopping. This was good because they'd been snots again all morning and my partner was plotting how to leave them in Kaikoura while we continued the holiday. We went to the local ice cream shop (there's always a local) and tried to relax. Within five minutes, we were getting barraged with text messages: Our son had spreained his ankle and the girls wanted our credit card details. We ignored them.
(To be fair, if our son had actually sprained his ankle, he would have called us, not sent a text; he just doesn't know the difference between twisting and spraining. We caught up with him later and he was fine.)
The train was due at 5:20 but at 3:30 I got a text it was running 40 minutes late. Unfortunately we'd run out of things to explore so we all ended up at the train station, on our phones, waiting for two hours. It had been a very warm day, and coming from Wellington we weren't used to the heat, so we were all feeling a bit miserable. We had free wifi and I was able to have a video call with my niece, which is the first time I've "seen" them since our visit 18 months ago. Of course, just as we were talking, the train pulled in.
As I mentioned, although Kaikoura is a small town, it is a huge tourist destination because of the Hikurangi Trench. Much like the canyon at Monterey Bay, Califonia, the Hikurangi Trench directs nutrient-rich sediment which supports abundant wildlife including crayfish (rock lobsters), dolphins and whales. (I later learned the best time to visit was autumn; during the summer only male sperm whales were present.) The town has a permanent population of about 3,600 people, it can see 900,000 tourists in a year!
Humorously, I booked the ferry and train first and then discovered there was no accommodation in Kaikoura that could accommodate the five of us. There wasn't even a hotel with two rooms free! Since the kids were already bringing sleeping bags, I suggested we bring tents and sleep on the beach, but my partner pointed out the kids were already packing for nineteen days and would not have any more space. In the end, I found a motel room that slept three but looked like it could hold five. I once smuggled a six-foot iguana into a motel, so I figured two kids would be easy.
Needless to say, everything that could go wrong, did. It wasn't a motel per se, with independent access for each room, but instead you had to go through the lobby, past the receptionist, into a courtyard, and our room was on the second floor. We had a small mountain of luggage -- the kids each took a large suitcase, a big duffel bag, and a sleeping bag -- and the shuttle dropped us right in front of the lobby. I had hoped there would be no need to tell the kids about my duplicitous plan, so of course they started unloading the luggage in full view of the receiptionist! I immediately suffled two of them out of sight, but as I was checking in I looked up to see one of the kids skateboarding around the parking lot!
(That my partner let him bring his skateboard is a whole other discussion...)
I found a back entrance so I sent my partner and one kid through the lobby and took the other two kids around back. Just as we were comng in, the receptionist was coming out to help another couple, who spoke no english. Thankfully, the eldest had cottoned on to what was happening and immediately split off and went elsewhere, dragging the youngest with her. I knew he was getting upset -- like his mom, he does not like being dishonest -- so I needed to get him inside quickly before he made a scene. The eldest went up another staircase but found it did not connect to our room, so we found ourselves making hand signals at the top of the stairs while the receptionist was standing below us, oblivious. You could not make this stuff up.
The receptionist finally went back inside and the kids went downstairs and back up the correct stairs and when we were finally in the room I explained what was happening. I almost had the youngest under control when my partner flipped out and demanded, in front of the kids, I go tell the receptionist what was going on. Perhaps I could have negotiated before I'd paid -- she wouldn't want the room to go unoccupied -- but at this point she could have turfed us out and kept the money, so I wasn't going to do that. After a few minutes of heated arguing -- again in front of the kids -- I went out. The two older kids, who inherited their level of honesty from their father, went with me. The youngest was hiding under the bed.
Needless to say, we did not go out to dinner that night as planned. Instead we invited the kids to pick over what was left from the picnic lunch we'd brought on the train. I'd picked up some milk so I think one of the kids had cereal. It was an unceremonious start to the holiday.
The next day, after a good night's sleep, everyone was a bit calmer. We had breakfast in the room (it had a kitchenette) then we all went out the back entrance and walked into town. After a bit of shopping, we checked out every cafe on the high street, but being a coastal town founded on seafood, finding something vegetarian and gluten free proved elusive, which is how we ended up in a sushi restaurant. The little old Japanese lady was hand-rolling to order, and it turned out to be the best sushi I'd had in New Zealand.
We then walked back to the train station, which is where the whale watch tour departed from, but they were cancelling trips because of rough seas, including ours. The kids were gutted, but I remembered the helicopters and walked over to see if they had any spaces. It was twice as much as the boat, but my partner and I didn't think we could stomach a helicopter ride anyway, so we just booked the kids. The helicopter people then told us they were only tracking one sperm whale, that they tend to dive for about 45 minutes, that the helicopter ride was only 40 minutes long, and there were no refunds.
Forty-five minutes later, after a "safety briefing" that literally featured plastic models of whales and a giant squid, they boarded the helicopter and flew off into the distance. We asked the folks who had just gotten off the helicopter how it was, and they told us they hadn't seen a thing. We were gutted.
Thankfully, the kids not only saw the sperm whale, but watched him dive as well. (After floating on the surface for 15 minutes, he arches his back and goes under, then comes up one last time to expel any air [so his lungs don't explode in the depths] and dives at a steep angle, which is when you see the famous "whale tail.") They also saw a massive nursery pod of dolphins and a bunch of fur seals. I'd given them my SLR and they'd taken so many photos, they'd filled up my memory card, which is something I'd never done in ten years!
We went back to the hotel and celebrated by making nachos in the microwave for dinner. (I should note that neither my partner nor I have owned a microwave in the past thirty years, so we aren't very experienced with it and the nachos were...interesting.) We packed our bags so we'd be ready to check out early, as we had a big day the next day.
I should probably note, to avoid any pretence of a "Facebook family," that the children were absolute snots. If we weren't actively buying them something, they were being rude and obnoxious. Of course, it wasn't all three of them all the time, but at least one or two were being unpleasant at any given point. I kind of expect that from teenagers but my partner takes it very personally, and so there was a good deal of yelling, which is when I have to get involved to let the kids know, in no uncertain terms, that mom can yell at them all she wants and they are not to yell back. I don't like being the big bad bear -- it does affect my nerves -- but it's an unavoidable part of parenting teenagers, especially on holiday. Everyone was getting a bit frayed, and it was only day two of nine.
The next day the shuttle arrived at 7:45am. I'd already secreted all the luggage around the back and the kids had all snuck out around the back, which turned out to be for nothing because reception didn't open until 8:30am! The shuttle took us back to the train station to stash our luggage for the day, and then dropped us off at Kaikoura Kayaks, which was going to take us on a "half-day expedition" to see fur seals. However, that half day turned out to be mostly waiting for people to show up, driving to the drop-off point, going through safety and rowing demonstration, getting dressed and launching the kayaks. In the end we had about an hour on the water, but that was more than enough for my old bones.
The weather was perfect but, not knowing any better, I'd opted for a waterproof parka along with the neoprene skirt and life vest. After 20 minutes I was overheating, and it was a lot of work paddling around the surf. Thankfully, once we got to the seal community we could relax for a bit, and watching the seals (actually a type of sea lion) in its native habitat was exhilirating. Coming back was when we found out how the earthquake had affected the area: It was high tide at the time, and the guide said that was the equivalent of low tide before the earthquake. That is, the sea bed had risen so much that features that used to be submerged all the time were now only submerged at high tide! Of course the irony is that since it was high tide at that time, it looked the same as before the earthquake...
We finished at noon, had a bite to eat, my son said he was going skateboarding at a little skate park and the daughters said they were going shopping. This was good because they'd been snots again all morning and my partner was plotting how to leave them in Kaikoura while we continued the holiday. We went to the local ice cream shop (there's always a local) and tried to relax. Within five minutes, we were getting barraged with text messages: Our son had spreained his ankle and the girls wanted our credit card details. We ignored them.
(To be fair, if our son had actually sprained his ankle, he would have called us, not sent a text; he just doesn't know the difference between twisting and spraining. We caught up with him later and he was fine.)
The train was due at 5:20 but at 3:30 I got a text it was running 40 minutes late. Unfortunately we'd run out of things to explore so we all ended up at the train station, on our phones, waiting for two hours. It had been a very warm day, and coming from Wellington we weren't used to the heat, so we were all feeling a bit miserable. We had free wifi and I was able to have a video call with my niece, which is the first time I've "seen" them since our visit 18 months ago. Of course, just as we were talking, the train pulled in.
Thursday, January 3, 2019
The $5,000 vacation
It's no secret that money has been tight. In the four years I've been in New Zealand, I haven't worked for two of them, and the kids' father hasn't paid child support in over a year. (He owes almost $30,000* but the IRD -- the NZ equivalent of the IRS -- won't do anything to help collect it.)
So holidays have generally involved camping, and even then not going very far. Last year we pitched a tent in Paekakariki, about a half-hour drive from our house. Two years ago, we spent three days on Somes Island, a 15-minute ferry ride away. Three years ago we took the ferry to the South Island and stayed at a friend's bach (pronounced "batch," it is a small holiday house) at the top of the south island. Four years ago, the kids did something with their dad, and we didn't do anything at all.
This year was our last opportunity for a proper family holiday before the eldest goes to Israel for a gap-year programme. In addition, where my partner and I work both shut down over the holidays, forcing us to take some of our annual leave over the period. (Yes, this is legal in New Zealand.) So we were both on holiday for two weeks, between December 22 and January 6, whether we liked it or not. Staying at home, or taking the kids camping right before summer camp, both seemed like a waste of time.
I sharpened my pencil and decided we could afford about $5,000. (Mind you, this is on top of paying $15,000 for the gap year programme, $5,500 for the middle child to go on a school trip to France, and $8600 for the youngest to get braces, which their dad has already said he's not going to contribute anything towards.) We looked at an island resort -- Fiji, Bali, Samoa -- but they started around $7,000 for five people for a week.
I still haven't seen most of New Zealand, so we talked about a driving vacation which would have been affordable, but I hate driving so it wouldn't have been a holiday for me. (Plus we still had memories from last year, when we drove from Wellington to Auckland to visit the kids at summer camp, and I developed shingles in my eye and was in excruciating pain the whole time and ended up being hospitalised for four days...)
In the end, we decided to visit Christchurch, the third largest city in New Zealand and the biggest in the South Island. In February 2011. a 6.3 earthquake hit Christchurch, causing 185 casualties and destroying hundreds of buildings. (This was actually an aftershock of a 7.1 earthquake from September 2010, but that was located outside the city and not nearly as destructive.) The photos are absolutely devastating, but over the past seven years the government had spent hundreds of millions of dollars to help rebuild. The kids had never been and my partner hadn't been since the earthquake, so we were all keen to see it.
One thing working in our favour is that the kids always go to summer camp in Auckland. To encourage participation from non-Aucklanders, the camp charges a set price for everyone and then pays for the return flights. This year the camp was starting on 4 January, so we got them to pay for the kids to fly from Christchurch instead of Wellington. Of course this had a logistical impact, as the kids now had to pack for 19 days instead of ten!
In November 2016, a 7.8 earthquake struck Kaikoura, about 100 miles north of Christchurch. It is a rural town, so there were only two casualties, but the seabed rose between 3 and 7 feet, and the infrastructure damage was extreme. There were more than 50 landslips along Highway 1, and the town was completely cut off for over a month. The train tracks looked more like a roller coaster ride, and and it took over a year to get freight trains moving, and two years before it was deemed safe for passenger trains. Of course I didn't realise any of this until I was researching this trip, and stumbled upon the Coastal Pacific train re-opening in December. For roughly the same price as flying to Christchurch, we could take the ferry and the train! (And we could stopover in Kaikoura, which was a tourist destination in its own right.)
So the plan was set. The eldest, who'd finally started a job in November, gave notice at the beginning of December. I spent a ridiculous amount of time researching and booking hotels, activities, shuttles, car rentals and even a family-friendly Irish ceili (dance) for New Year's eve. When I was all finished, I tallied up my expenses and found it came to *almost exactly* $5,000! I was quite proud of myself, until my partner pointed out I'd forgotten to feed the kids...
* Based on his past income, the IRD assessed him at NZ $3,058 per month -- about $680 USD per child per month -- which is already on the low side, but he then claimed that he was unemployed and the IRD reduced his child support to $74/month. That's USD $17 per child per month!! Can you imagine telling your bank you lost your job and them reducing your mortgage to $74/month? Of course not, but the IRD sees child support as completely discretionary, and thinks we should be grateful for any money he deigns to give us. Had they maintained the $3,058/month payment, he would owe $96,000, but it's a moot point because he still wouldn't pay and they still wouldn't care.
So holidays have generally involved camping, and even then not going very far. Last year we pitched a tent in Paekakariki, about a half-hour drive from our house. Two years ago, we spent three days on Somes Island, a 15-minute ferry ride away. Three years ago we took the ferry to the South Island and stayed at a friend's bach (pronounced "batch," it is a small holiday house) at the top of the south island. Four years ago, the kids did something with their dad, and we didn't do anything at all.
This year was our last opportunity for a proper family holiday before the eldest goes to Israel for a gap-year programme. In addition, where my partner and I work both shut down over the holidays, forcing us to take some of our annual leave over the period. (Yes, this is legal in New Zealand.) So we were both on holiday for two weeks, between December 22 and January 6, whether we liked it or not. Staying at home, or taking the kids camping right before summer camp, both seemed like a waste of time.
I sharpened my pencil and decided we could afford about $5,000. (Mind you, this is on top of paying $15,000 for the gap year programme, $5,500 for the middle child to go on a school trip to France, and $8600 for the youngest to get braces, which their dad has already said he's not going to contribute anything towards.) We looked at an island resort -- Fiji, Bali, Samoa -- but they started around $7,000 for five people for a week.
I still haven't seen most of New Zealand, so we talked about a driving vacation which would have been affordable, but I hate driving so it wouldn't have been a holiday for me. (Plus we still had memories from last year, when we drove from Wellington to Auckland to visit the kids at summer camp, and I developed shingles in my eye and was in excruciating pain the whole time and ended up being hospitalised for four days...)
In the end, we decided to visit Christchurch, the third largest city in New Zealand and the biggest in the South Island. In February 2011. a 6.3 earthquake hit Christchurch, causing 185 casualties and destroying hundreds of buildings. (This was actually an aftershock of a 7.1 earthquake from September 2010, but that was located outside the city and not nearly as destructive.) The photos are absolutely devastating, but over the past seven years the government had spent hundreds of millions of dollars to help rebuild. The kids had never been and my partner hadn't been since the earthquake, so we were all keen to see it.
One thing working in our favour is that the kids always go to summer camp in Auckland. To encourage participation from non-Aucklanders, the camp charges a set price for everyone and then pays for the return flights. This year the camp was starting on 4 January, so we got them to pay for the kids to fly from Christchurch instead of Wellington. Of course this had a logistical impact, as the kids now had to pack for 19 days instead of ten!
In November 2016, a 7.8 earthquake struck Kaikoura, about 100 miles north of Christchurch. It is a rural town, so there were only two casualties, but the seabed rose between 3 and 7 feet, and the infrastructure damage was extreme. There were more than 50 landslips along Highway 1, and the town was completely cut off for over a month. The train tracks looked more like a roller coaster ride, and and it took over a year to get freight trains moving, and two years before it was deemed safe for passenger trains. Of course I didn't realise any of this until I was researching this trip, and stumbled upon the Coastal Pacific train re-opening in December. For roughly the same price as flying to Christchurch, we could take the ferry and the train! (And we could stopover in Kaikoura, which was a tourist destination in its own right.)
So the plan was set. The eldest, who'd finally started a job in November, gave notice at the beginning of December. I spent a ridiculous amount of time researching and booking hotels, activities, shuttles, car rentals and even a family-friendly Irish ceili (dance) for New Year's eve. When I was all finished, I tallied up my expenses and found it came to *almost exactly* $5,000! I was quite proud of myself, until my partner pointed out I'd forgotten to feed the kids...
* Based on his past income, the IRD assessed him at NZ $3,058 per month -- about $680 USD per child per month -- which is already on the low side, but he then claimed that he was unemployed and the IRD reduced his child support to $74/month. That's USD $17 per child per month!! Can you imagine telling your bank you lost your job and them reducing your mortgage to $74/month? Of course not, but the IRD sees child support as completely discretionary, and thinks we should be grateful for any money he deigns to give us. Had they maintained the $3,058/month payment, he would owe $96,000, but it's a moot point because he still wouldn't pay and they still wouldn't care.
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