Imagine if we treated personal relationships the same way we treated professional ones: We'd interview five people for an hour, maybe two, and if one of them was interested we'd make an open-ended commitment. At some point we'd feel unappreciated and try to find a new relationship without telling the current one. If we were successful, we'd tell our current relationship we were leaving...in a month.
And we'd all be okay with this and think it was perfectly normal.
But let's face it, it's crazy. It's inefficient, there's no security, it's unrewarding.
Now imagine if we treated professional relationships the same way we treated personal ones: We'd meet with lots of companies, we'd have a good idea of what we were looking for, we'd understand what they offered and when we found a good fit we'd make a long-term commitment. Both sides would work to support each other, to learn and grow from one another. Not every relationship would work out, of course, but you wouldn't start the relationship with the expectation that it would fail in a couple of years.
Of course, given that work relationships start out in such a dysfunctional way, it's no wonder so many become toxic. I resigned today because my work relationship was taking a lot from me and not giving me anything in return. The company wasn't listening to me, it refused to change, it couldn't even acknowledge the issues that I've been complaining about for over a year. Maybe it was just so wrapped up in its own problems, it didn't have any time for me. Maybe it never really cared about me, and I've just been fooling myself from the start.
Unfortunately, I don't know if the place I'm going is any better. I talked to them for two hours. They seemed OK, but they're just replacing someone who left, so who's fault was that? It doesn't matter; what's important is they're giving me more money. It's not like I'm making a commitment; if I don't like it, I will leave.
I used to think dating apps were superficial--a few photos, a couple lines of text, no real depth--but it turns out that's what people like; they'd rather meet up and see if there is chemistry before trying to figure out the rest. Google "Tinder for jobs" and you'll see lots of people have created similar apps, but where does it go from there? Do they invite you to come work for them for a day or two (with pay) to see if you're compatible? Do you slowly work your way up to being "exclusive"? Do you eventually become committed after showing mutual respect, shared values and the desire to build a future together?
I don't know if any of this would work, but it can't be worst than the current situation. As for me, check back in 18-24 months so see if I'm happy, or I'm actively looking.
