London life

Some random photos from my camera phone:

Assimilation

For some reason, I've been thinking a lot about this a lot. Is it
active or passive? Are there stages of assimilation, like grief? At
what point are you considered to be assimilated--is it when you are
familiar with something, when you are comfortable with it, or when you
are accepted into it? When you are assimilated, have you gained
something, or lost something? Can you feel like you belong to two
cultures, or neither?

Obviously there is a reason for this: Just as I am feeling comfortable
with Britain, I've started tackling a new religion, Jess and I are
moving into a new house, and I'm about to move on to a new project at
work. That's a lot to assimilate, and my instinct is not to open
myself up to it, but to close off and try to control it. Small
changes are an irritant; large changes overwhelming

Each time I move, I find myself going back to my old area to run
errands, because I know where things are. When I got to London, I
clung to the US, watched US news, and began every other sentence with,
"In the States..." It took me a year to be familiar with British
customs, and two years to be comfortable with them. Today, I feel
assimilated, but I'm not fully accepted--my accent marks me, and many
people assume I'll be returning to the States someday. However, I no
longer feel like I'm part of the US, either.

I remember stuggling so hard to say things like 'cheers' and now I say
it automatically--even when I'm in the States! I think differently, I
dress differently, I behave differently -- nothing dramatic, but
enough for me to notice -- and if I can no longer define myself by
these superficial things, I have to dig deeper to find the real me.
And I can't help but wonder, as more and more of my life changes, what
I will eventually be left with.

REALLY smart phone

I've been playing around with Tasker, on my Android, and it's quite a head trip. It lets you set up all sorts of rules and tasks, such as 'when I'm home, turn on wifi' and 'when I'm at work, switch to vibrate'. Right now, I'm working on a rule that says 'If I'm at the tube station and on my way home, automatically send a text to Jess.' I haven't quite got that sussed yet, and when I do I'm sure Jess will ask me to quit it, but it's a fun little brain teaser.

I looked back on my post from June of last year and found of my top six apps, I'm only using three:

1. Remember the Milk, an online task organizer which automatically syncs with Astrid on the phone (I'm still using Astrid on the phone, which is brilliant, but the syncing services were all awful.)
2. Google Calendar
3. Soocial, which syncs my contact lists on Gmail, Hotmail, and phone
4. Memento, which lets me store notes in any format I like I'm now using Springpad, which manages notes, to do lists, movies, events, restaurants, and more in one crazy mess that somehow works.
5. Nimbuzz, which manages all of my IMs (Windows, Yahoo, Google, and Skype, all in one place) Nimbuzz no longer supports Skype, but Skype now has its own Android app.
6. Last.fm for streaming radio This one just came off the list today, as they announced they would start charging for the Android app. I'll still use it on the PC, though.
However, I've added many more to my list:
7. Alarm Clock Plus, which is brilliant -- you can set an alarm to play a random song from a playlist, and increase the volume every 30 seconds. It can even announce the time, weather, and morning's news headlines! (However, I found that freaked me out a little bit.)
8. PlayerPro, a music player, which integrates with isyncr to sync with iTunes on the laptop wirelessly. How cool is that? (Tofether they cost me £5.)
9. OI Safe, a free app that securely encrypts your info, so I can safely carry around all of my financial information without worrying about losing the phone.
10. MyBackupPro, a non-free app, but the only one that will backup OI Safe. :-(  However, if I ever lose my phone I will be able to restore everything, over the cloud.
11. OurGroceries, a grocery list that syncs on the web and (more importantly) on Jess' phone.
12. FoxyRing, which automatically adjusts the ringer volume based on the ambient noise. (It also has a cool widget that lets you turn the phone on silent for a certain length of time, which is important as I have a habit of coming out of the movie and leaving my phone on silent for 2 days.)
13. iNap, which uses GPS to trigger an alarm (great for train journeys!)
14. Kayak, which has long been my favorite travel comparison web site, now also allows me to manage trips and automatically adds them to my Google calendar.

So that's my list of must-have apps for the Android. I'm sure there are similar alternatives for the iPhone, but I still don't like Apple.

Flat life

I rented a one-bed apartment when I was going to school. However, I was working full-time and going to school at night, and probably spent more time on the road than in the apartment.

And that was it. I moved into a one-bed house, then a two-bed, then bought a 3-bed, and finally into a 4000-square foot mansion in Pennsylvania.

For the past four years, however, I've been back in apartments, or flats as they're called here. They haven't been bad--the loft in downtown LA was spectacular, living in Brentford along the Thames was a joy, and my flat in Ealing -- where I stayed for 18 months -- was fine until the end, when noisy neighbors moved in upstairs. Since September I've been living with Jess, primarily because I thought I thought we'd be moving into a house by December.

Jess owns half of the ground floor of a Victorian house converted into four flats, a one-bed that is probably smaller than my first apartment. I really shouldn't complain--the upstairs neighbors have the same amount of space, sans garden, and they've been there for 21 years...and raised a son.

However, Jess and I are very excited -- and getting more excited by the day -- of moving out of the flat and into our house. Of course, it's still a semi-detached -- with a "party wall" between us and the neighbors -- but we don't have anyone living above or below us, and we have a private yard. We talk about having people over for dinner, or just eating dinner at a table instead of on the sofa. We think of what we can put in the spare bedroom, or on the patio. We dream about what we want to do in the garden, to create a little oasis of tranquility in our lives. I can't wait to have a bathroom I can turn around in, instead of backing in or out.

At 98 square meters (just over 1000 square feet), it's nearly half the size of my house in Lomita, but I can't wait. Something I took for granted for 15 years now seems like heaven to me.

More London adverts

RSJ

RSJ stands for 'reinforced steel joist' and it's how you open up a brick house. Of course there are several different types, and you need a structural engineer to tell you what size.

On Sunday, we met with the prototypical Englishman: jolly, friendly, a little self-depracating, and could talk for England. He said it would take 20 minutes, but he was there for an hour and a half, and in the end couldn't tell us what we needed to know.

That's because he discovered the upstairs wall was offset from the downstairs wall, so he couldn't calculate the load. Instead, he has to come back to do some 'probing' (ie destruction) and even though Jess and I are legally committed to buying the house regardless of what happens to it, it still seemed rude to start punching holes in walls while the current owners are still living there.

So he'll be back on the 18th, which is fine because I don't actually need to get permission from the local council, I just need to notify them I'm doing it (and pay a £300 fee, of course).

However, while he was there, he and Jess went into the attic. (I didn't go because the ladder was unsafe.) When the architect was there a few weeks ago, she poked her head in the attic and pronounced that if we did a loft conversion, it would be small and there wouldn't be enough room for a bathroom. The engineer thought that was nonsense. I don't know which is true, but Jess was quite pleased, so I'll go with the engineer.

My job this week is to line up a plasterer, an electrician, and a builder, so we can get started on the 18th. Of course, last night Jess pointed out we couldn't run off to California while all of this is going on, so we may have to revise our travel plans...

Groundhog day

Of course, that's an American holiday, although Bill Murray did his part to make this bizarre ritual universally recognized. Tomorrow, Jess and I have decided that if we do anything wrong during the day, we have to repeat it until we get it right.

It should be an interesting day.

House saga

The house has taken a ridiculously long time, even by English
standards, and we still haven't exchanged contracts. However, we
haven't been spending the time idly. We've been spinning in circles.

The kitchen -- with its 30's era galley, 50's era linoleum, and 80's
era cabinets -- needs to be renovated immediately, and so we talked
about doing a ground-floor extension as well, to give us more space
and light. However, we also mentioned wanting to do a loft conversion
someday, to give us an extra bedroom, and everyone told us to do the
loft conversion first.

The reason is that, in England, you can extend a house by up to 10%
without requiring planning permission, and our local council is
aparently notorius for denying loft conversions. Thus, we should do
the loft conversion first, and then get permission to do the ground
floor extension.

Which is fine, except the kitchen still needs to be renovated
immediately. So we scrapped our original plans and started talking
about what we could do in the original space. The big thing is
knocking down the wall between the kitchen and reception room, and
installing an island, to open it up and give us more counter space.
Saturday I met with an architect, who wasn't particularly helpful.
(She rushed through the house in 10 minutes and then said it would be
"fine.") As Jess put it, this won't be a "wow" factor, it will just
be functional. (It will also be much easier on the finances.)

Here is our current drawing. Of course, this doesn't factor in little
things like type of flooring, countertop, cabinetry, tiling,
appliances, range hood, sink, lighting, electrical points, water
lines, or waste lines. And I don't know what they need to do to take
out a wall. And it's not actually to scale. But other than that,
it's a great plan.

We also need to strip the walls (it is covered in anaglypta, a thick
vinyl wallpaper) and replaster the entire house. While we're at it,
we're going to re-wire the electric, since it looks like that hasn't
been done in 70 years, and then of course we'll need to paint
everything. (No doubt Jess and I will do the painting ourselves,
although I haven't told Jess yet.)

It still won't be until mid-February before we have the keys, so we
have time to get more quotes and line up a contractor but honestly, I
can't wait.

Click to enlarge

Year in review

I started 2010 hating my job, frustrated with England, missing my
family, and struggling with Jessica.  My work permit was expiring in
April and I was seriously considering moving back to California (or
worse, Georgia).

Then in March everything fell into place.  I changed jobs and joined a
real company, with real people and real projects.  Spring came and I
realised how much the winter had been affecting me (in part because
I'd been stuck inside working from home the entire time).  My uncle
got better, which had really been worrying me.  I started And no doubt
in part because of all of the above, Jess and I stopped fighting and
started working together.  And believe me, it was fantastic.

In May, we decided to take the next step: Buy a house together.  By
August, we were despairing of ever finding a place we liked.  London
is full of beautiful houses, all way out of our price range.  What was
affordable were tiny terrace houses on ugly streets and backing onto
railroad tracks.  We must have looked at 100 houses, if not more, and
didn't make a single offer.

In September, things changed again.  First, we got engaged, and did so
on a beautiful clear evening on the banks of the Thames.  Then we
found three -- three! -- houses we liked.  We made offers on all three
and one was accepted.  I told everyone we'd be closed by the end of
November.

Then our financing fell apart, thanks to our idiot mortgage advisor,
and we basically had to start over.  And our solicitor took forever to
do the property searches.  And generally buying a house in England
sucks.  So now it's mid-December and we'll be lucky to close by the
end of January.

But of course that's only half the story, because the property hasn't
been updated since 1978, and the kitchen since the 1960s.  In addition
to the electrical, we want to add a single-story extension to the
back, and create an open plan dining area.  It's going to be lovely,
but it won't be March until we can move in.

In the meantime, we're desperately searching for a wedding venue that
isn't, technically, a wedding venue.  In England, the wedding laws are
pretty bizarre: You can have a Christian ceremony in your local
Anglican church, you can have a Jewish wedding anywhere, or you can
have a civil wedding (like a justice of the peace) at a venue licensed
by the State.  We don't want a Christian wedding, we can't have a
Jewish wedding, and a civil wedding is so rigid, I actually find it
offensive.

So we'll do the civil wedding privately, and have a larger ceremony
for friends and family.  Hence the need for a non-wedding venue.
Obviously we don't have a date yet, but we're looking at May or June.
(I want June 15, as that is the day we met, but Jess is more
pragmatic.)

The rest of the year was rather uneventful, with the exception of
Jessica's new nephew. (Welcome, Asher!)  In August, Jess was going to
visit them in Chicago while I was going to California to visit my
family, but then we were both bumped off our flights (the joys of
traveling standby) and so we spent the weekend in Amsterdam instead.
(Frustratingly, I have a friend in Amsterdam who I've been trying to
see all year -- but when we got there, my phone was dead, so I
couldn't get her phone number, and of course I'd brought a US
converter, not a European one, so I couldn't charge it, and we never
did meet up.)

Otherwise, we just had a few small trips -- New Year's in Wales,
weekends in Paris and Madrid, the Bristol balloon fiesta, and
Edinburgh fringe.  We were planning on spending two weeks in
California over the holidays, but then I got put on a ridiculously
busy project, and won't be able to go anywhere until March.  (Jess, on
the other hand, has already booked a week in the sun with a friend of
hers for January.  Not that I'm jealous or anything.)

So that's my year.  If judged by the difference between the beginning
and the end, it was probably the best year of my life.  (And I'm
looking to break the record next year.)

New year

It's a new year and I have 42 vacation days + 9 holidays. That's almost 2.5 months!!  Do still you wonder why I moved to England?

To be fair, 7 of those were carried over from last year, as I'd planned to spend a couple of weeks in California.  Unfortunately, due to project commitments, I only got to spend 3 days there.  (4 if you count the fact that I missed my plane...again.)

And 10 of those I'm 'buying' as part of 'flex' -- which is kind of like unpaid leave, except I don't pay tax, so somehow I come out ahead.  (I still haven't figured out the tax system here, obviously.)

And 1 of those holidays is for the Royal Wedding, April 29.  Still, 8 holidays isn't bad -- you yanks only get 6, unless you work in government.

Plus 5 weeks vacation here isn't just normal, it's the law!  The basic calculation is 5.6 days x the number of days you work per week, so 5 days per week = 28 days per year.  (That includes public holidays, though.)

So enjoy your 2 week holiday this year, and I'll understand if I get over to see you more than you come over to see me. :-)