As one does

I've already translated about 400 words and phrases from British to American english; now we move on to the advanced class: idioms. The dictionary defines idiom as "an expression used for its figurative meaning rather than literal meaning."  In other words, these phrases mean absolutely nothing outside of English culture:

• If you argue the toss, you continue to argue even after you've lost, or you will argue about anything, even if you don't believe in your own argument. (We say 'play devil's advocate.')
• If you are at a loose end, you have spare time but don't know what to do with it.
• If you are on your back foot, you are at a disadvantage and forced to be defensive of your position. (I think this is from tennis.)
• Life is not all beer and skittles, meaning that it is not about self-indulgence and pleasure. 
• Someone who wears belt and braces is very cautious and takes no risks. (‘Braces’ are suspenders, so belt and braces are making doubly-sure your trousers don't fall down.)
• A person who is as bent as a nine bob note is dishonest. The reference comes from pre-decimalisation in UK (1971), when a ten shilling (bob) note was valid currency but no such note as nine shillings existed. (The American version is ‘three dollar bill.’)
• If things are as black as Newgate's knocker, they are very bad. (Newgate was an infamous prison in England, so its door knocker meant trouble.)
• Just turn left and Bob's your uncle, you're there.  This idiom means that something will be easy or successful.
• If you are box clever, you use your intelligence to get what you want, even if you have to cheat a bit.
• Someone who has the brass neck has no sense of shame about what they do.
• When you break your duck, that means you are doing something for the first time.
• If you beat somebody by a long chalk, you win easily and comfortably.
• If something is cheap as chips, it is very inexpensive. (If it is expensive, then it's dear.)
• Bringing coals to Newcastle is doing something that is completely unnecessary. (Newcastle was a big coal mining town.)
• Someone whose actions or lifestyle will inevitably result in trouble is going to come a cropper.  (We might say 'get his comeuppance.')
• Someone who is daft as a brush is rather stupid. 
• If something is expected to have a great effect or impact but doesn't, it is a damp squib
• If people do a runner, they leave a restaurant without paying.
• If something is double Dutch, it is completely incomprehensible. (I could fill a post of English slurs against the Dutch.)
• If something is dull as ditchwater, it is incredibly boring. (Americans use 'dull as dishwater.')
• Dunkirk spirit is when people pull together to get through a very difficult time.
• If someone, especially a politician, is economical with the truth, they leave out information in order to create a false picture of a situation, without actually lying. 
• If everybody has a fair crack of the whip, they all have equal opportunities to do something.
• If someone tries to sell you something that has fallen of the back of a lorry, they are trying to sell you stolen goods.
• A person who talks for England, talks a lot-if you do something "for England," you do it a lot or to the limit.
• If something is the Full Monty, it is the real thing, not reduced in any way. (It doesn't have anything to do with male strippers.
• When things go pear-shaped they have either gone wrong or produced an unexpected and unwanted result.
• If you grasp the nettle, you deal bravely with a problem.
• If someone says "I'll have your guts for garters," they are threatening you.
• If you are holding the baby, then you are responsible for something.
• Someone in rude health is very healthy and look it.
• Jam tomorrow means someone is promised something that will never come.
• If someone is very enthusiastic, they are as keen as mustard.
• If someone tells you to keep your wig on, they mean calm down.
• If you have to kick your heels, you are forced to wait for the result or outcome of something. (We say "cool your heels" for equally undiscernible reasons.)
• If something is like giving a donkey strawberries, people fail to appreciate its value.
• If someone loses their bottle, they lose the courage to do something.
• If something's money for old rope, it's a very easy way of making money.
• A nosy (or nosey) parker is someone who is excessively interested in other people's lives.
• If someone is on Carey Street, they are heavily in debt or have gone bankrupt.
• If you do something on the trot, that means 'consecutively'. e.g. I saw them three days on the trot.
• If you over-egg the pudding, you spoil something by trying to improve it excessively. (It can also used if someone is making something look bigger or more important than it really is.)
• If you go keep referring to old problems, making trouble for someone, you are raking over old coals.
• If you send someone to Coventry, you refuse to talk to them or co-operate with them.
• If someone throws a spanner in the works, they ruin a plan. (A spanner is a wrench.)
• If you need to spend a penny, you need to go to the toilet.
• If someone comes to a sticky end, they die in an unpleasant way.
• If you are on a sticky wicket, you are in a difficult situation. (Similar to being 'up a creek.')
• A new project may have teething problems.
• If something is tickety-boo, it is fine or OK.  (American equivalent is ‘hunky-dory.’)
• As the actress said to the bishop. This idiom is used to highlight when someone makes an accidental sexual reference.

But I must say, my favorite phrase is "as one does." I'm sure it started out innocently enough, but now it's used strictly sarcastically, usually when someone is describing themself in an unusual situation.  For me, it just sums up the dry humor the English are famous for.