Stranger in a strang(ish) land

I love being in England, though I'd be hard-pressed to tell you why. After all, it's crowded, expensive, cold, and wet. But I've been thinking about this and realized, while I do love the history and architecture, the Thames, and even the accents, what really attracted me is its...foreignness.

Taken individually, the differences between American and English culture are petty, often more annoying than interesting. But collectively, they constantly challenge my assumptions, my experiences, and my point of view. I could cite hundreds of examples, but that wouldn't help you understand how I feel at the end of each day, knowing I've learned something new, or just recognized that what I thought of as a constant was just a convention.

But what I really feel at the end of the day is privileged, and lucky, to be living here, and am looking forward to everything the new year brings. (And I expect it to bring a great many things.)

Jessica is taking me to Wales for the new year (a steam train through Snowdonia--how cool is that?) but I want to wish everyone a safe and happy new year!

2009 wrap-up

I started 2009 unemployed, stone broke, and practically homeless—I was renting a flat while the owner was in Africa, and she was due back January 15. My savings were gone, and I was taking cash advances on my credit cards, before finally taking some money out of my 401k. And the news about the “credit crunch”—and the job market—was getting worse every day.

It was a vicious circle, made even worse by the fact that I didn't even recognize it. I mean, I still had a place to live, I wasn't going hungry, I had a gorgeous girlfriend, and almost every morning I bundled up and walked through a private park and along the river Thames to my gym. It seemed idyllic, but in between those moments I was desperate and depressed, and I didn't even realize it until I could no longer cope with anything.

Of course, that happened in March, in the middle of a trip to Israel with Jessica's family for a wedding. Not surprisingly, we broke up, although it wasn't long before we were back together. (To be honest, meeting Jess felt so much like...if not fate, then inevitability...that I'm not surprised we're still together, and even stronger for the experience.)

In April, after much searching, I found a decent one-bed flat in Ealing, but because I was unemployed the landlord demanded six months up front, which took – almost to the penny – my remaining funds. So I was no longer homeless, but still unemployed and broke.

Then the gods decided I had enough, and in May I got a job with a small consulting firm. Actually, small may be an overstatement—they've been in business for six years, and I was employee #9. They didn't even have an office—all of their employees worked from home. A few years ago I would have jumped at the chance, but being in England, living alone, and not knowing many people, I'd been looking forward to going to an office. Instead, I spent the days sitting on my sofa with my laptop, which felt exactly the same as when I was unemployed, and didn't do anything to help my depression.

In July, I finally sought help, and have been seeing a therapist to work through a lot of old issues (divorce, anyone?) and regain my perspective. It has been amazingly therapeutic, and I am once again excited about the future, enjoying the present, and I have no regrets about the past. (I am also learning how to deal with my family, and love them as much as they love me.)

In October, British Airways responded to the recession by asking all of its employees to take a month off without pay. Jessica went to Namibia, which she'd always wanted to see, but of course I couldn't get the time off, so instead I took weekend trips to Georgia and California. (It's a long way to go for a weekend, but thanks to Jessica I can fly standby for very little.) I also visited Edinburgh for about an hour, and Jessica is taking me to Wales for New Year's.

In December, Jess and I agreed to move in together, but since we both have one-bedroom flats, we are looking for some place a little larger, a little closer to her work, and (I hope) something along the river. We've already seen one place we both liked, so this may happen pretty quickly.

I'm not sure if 2009 was the year I accomplished nothing, or the year I learned everything. Perhaps its because I turned 40, perhaps its because I hit bottom and came back, perhaps its because living in England forces me to challenge all of my assumptions every single day. Whatever the reason, I am joyful, and I want to wish you the same, and hope I will see many of you in the new year. (My door is always open.) In the meantime, count your blessings, love each other, and above all, have fun.

Happy holidays!

Telly

You may think of British television in terms of Fawlty Towers, the Saint, and Doctor Who, but you may not realize that all of these programs originally came from the UK: American Idol (X Factor), The Apprentice, Dancing With the Stars (Strictly Come Dancing), Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, Deal or No Deal, Weakest Link, Whose Line Is It Anyway, Big Brother, Antiques Roadshow, The Office, Trading Spaces (Changing Rooms), Supernanny, Survivor, Wife Swap, Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Meerkat Manor (the voiceover is changed to an American accent--really!).

In fact, British exports are at an all-time high, so expect to see these shows sometime soon. (You may have already seen some of these; I haven't been keeping up with American television.)

• Come Dine With Me - Four individuals take turns hosting a dinner party, with the guests secretly rating each other. The highest score wins £1,000.
• Cast Offs - A "scripted reality show" (or "mockumentary") about 6 disabled people on a deserted island: A blind man, a deaf woman, a paraplegic, a dwarf, a woman with cherubism, and someone with a thyroid condition (or something).
• Cash in the Attic - People sell household items at auction in order to splash out on concert tickets or new golf clubs.
• Peep Show - a comedy based on the unspoken thoughts of the two main characters.
• Argumental - two people argue for and against random stuff, like nuclear power and cotton sheets.
• The World's Strictest Parents - unruly middle-class teenagers are sent abroad to live with strict families in undeveloped countries.
• How To Look Good Naked - middle-age women agree to be photographed in the buff, and those pictures are displayed in prominent public areas.
• Being Human - a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghose live together in a flat. (Oddly, this is a serious drama.)
• Home and Away - a British family is sent to Australia for a week, where they look at different properties and meet several potential employers, and then have to choose to stay or move.
• Springwatch - 2 hours a night for 3 weeks, in prime time and on a major channel, hidden cameras capture local wildlife
• River Cottage - chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall raises his own animals and vegetables, inviting guests to harvest the food and prepare a large meal.
• QI - A quiz show where points are awarded for answers that are 'quite interesting' and deducted for answers that are not.
• Prime Minister Questions - Members of Parliament ask questions, and the Prime Minister gives unrelated answers.
• Bargain Hunt - Two teams are given £300 to spend on antiques, which are then sold at auction and the winning team keeps the difference. (Usually it's less than a tenner.)
• House Swap - Two families looking to move to different areas are shown each other's homes, and then decide if they want to swap.
• Countdown - Two contestants are given a series of letters and 30 seconds to come up with as many words as they can. (Bonus points for the longest word.)
• Don't Tell the Bride - a couple are given £5,000 to plan their dream wedding, but the groom has to make every decision with no input from the bride.
• Homes Under the Hammer - houses bought at auction, sight-unseen, are evaluated.
• Heir Hunters - a team of PIs track down heirs to unclaimed estates (for a portion of the award).
• How Clean Is Your House - Two women clean the dirtiest homes in the country, then make the owners promise not to let it get that bad again.
• Take Away My Takeaway - Teenagers outside fast food restaurants are taken to see where the food comes from.
• Dragon's Den - Would-be entrepreneurs pitch to 5 venture capitalists, trying to get them to invest £50,000 - 250,000 in their business.
• Don't Get Screwed - A consumer protections show whose tagline is "We take customer service to a new low, to show you your rights."
• Mock the Week, Have I Got News For You, 9 out of 10 Cats, and Never Mind the Buzzcocks - game shows based on current events, which are then syndicated and re-broadcast years later, long after the material is relevant).

This week, I've been enjoying The Queen (a 5-part dramatization about...uh....the Queen), Life (a 10-part documentary about...uh...life), and Toy Stories (a 6-part series using toys from the 70s in large-scale applications, such as a full-size Lego house, a 3 1/2 mile slot-car race track, and a 37-mile electric train track).