2009 wrap-up

I started 2009 unemployed, stone broke, and practically homeless—I was renting a flat while the owner was in Africa, and she was due back January 15. My savings were gone, and I was taking cash advances on my credit cards, before finally taking some money out of my 401k. And the news about the “credit crunch”—and the job market—was getting worse every day.

It was a vicious circle, made even worse by the fact that I didn't even recognize it. I mean, I still had a place to live, I wasn't going hungry, I had a gorgeous girlfriend, and almost every morning I bundled up and walked through a private park and along the river Thames to my gym. It seemed idyllic, but in between those moments I was desperate and depressed, and I didn't even realize it until I could no longer cope with anything.

Of course, that happened in March, in the middle of a trip to Israel with Jessica's family for a wedding. Not surprisingly, we broke up, although it wasn't long before we were back together. (To be honest, meeting Jess felt so much like...if not fate, then inevitability...that I'm not surprised we're still together, and even stronger for the experience.)

In April, after much searching, I found a decent one-bed flat in Ealing, but because I was unemployed the landlord demanded six months up front, which took – almost to the penny – my remaining funds. So I was no longer homeless, but still unemployed and broke.

Then the gods decided I had enough, and in May I got a job with a small consulting firm. Actually, small may be an overstatement—they've been in business for six years, and I was employee #9. They didn't even have an office—all of their employees worked from home. A few years ago I would have jumped at the chance, but being in England, living alone, and not knowing many people, I'd been looking forward to going to an office. Instead, I spent the days sitting on my sofa with my laptop, which felt exactly the same as when I was unemployed, and didn't do anything to help my depression.

In July, I finally sought help, and have been seeing a therapist to work through a lot of old issues (divorce, anyone?) and regain my perspective. It has been amazingly therapeutic, and I am once again excited about the future, enjoying the present, and I have no regrets about the past. (I am also learning how to deal with my family, and love them as much as they love me.)

In October, British Airways responded to the recession by asking all of its employees to take a month off without pay. Jessica went to Namibia, which she'd always wanted to see, but of course I couldn't get the time off, so instead I took weekend trips to Georgia and California. (It's a long way to go for a weekend, but thanks to Jessica I can fly standby for very little.) I also visited Edinburgh for about an hour, and Jessica is taking me to Wales for New Year's.

In December, Jess and I agreed to move in together, but since we both have one-bedroom flats, we are looking for some place a little larger, a little closer to her work, and (I hope) something along the river. We've already seen one place we both liked, so this may happen pretty quickly.

I'm not sure if 2009 was the year I accomplished nothing, or the year I learned everything. Perhaps its because I turned 40, perhaps its because I hit bottom and came back, perhaps its because living in England forces me to challenge all of my assumptions every single day. Whatever the reason, I am joyful, and I want to wish you the same, and hope I will see many of you in the new year. (My door is always open.) In the meantime, count your blessings, love each other, and above all, have fun.

Happy holidays!