World cup

Imagine the World Series was not the culmination of a season of
baseball, but a two-week elimination between the states, where all the
players went back to their home state. Is it any wonder, then, that
England collapsed in the World Cup?

In 1888, the Football League was formed with 12 clubs, but by 1950 it
had grown to 92 clubs. To organize this, each club was classified
into one of four leagues, and each year the top 3 teams would be
promoted to the next league, while the bottom three were relegated
down. This movement was intended to ensure meritocracy, but the
reality was the top teams received the most sponsorship money, and so
bought the best players. The difference is stark—according to a 2006
survey, the average player in the Championship league earns 70% less
than the average player in the Premier league.

Even more interesting, of the 20 clubs in the Premier League, four
have dominated it, winning every year for the past 18 years.
(Manchester United won 9 times!) However, these teams are dominated
by foreign players, who are not allowed to play for the English team
in world matches. For example, this year's Premier League winner,
Chelsea, has only 10 English players out of 52 on its squad.

Unlike baseball, where each player acts independently, or American
football, where the players are directed by the quarterback, a better
comparison is basketball, where a coordinated team of good players
will often beat an uncoordinated team of great players. The
difference is that no other country cares about basketball, so the US
still dominates internationally. FIFA (the international football
association), on the other hand, has more member nations than the UN.

Ironically, for such a high-profile sport in the UK, the general
consensus of fans is that the team didn't play well because they are
overpaid. Of course, the only reason they are paid so much is because
the sport is so popular. There have also been calls for years to
limit the number of foreign players in order to build up better
national players, which seems like specious logic to me – you don't
become a great player by playing for the best team, you usually play
for the best team because you're a great player. If England is going
to compete internationally, it has to start at the bottom, with
wide-spread support for children.

This is what the All England tennis association started doing 10 years
ago, and it will likely be another 10 years before we see any results.
However, considering the last time England won the men's Wimbledon
championship was in 1936, 20 years seems like a short wait.

House hunting 2

As you know, the UK is about the same size as Oregon (94,526 vs 97,073 square miles) but the population of the UK is the same as Oregon, California, Washington, Idaho, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, and New Mexico combined!  And of those, 1 in 8 live in London, making it one of the most densely populated areas on Earth.

However, that doesn't excuse developers, who have created some of the most unpalatable properties in the world.

To be fair, the Victorian homes are extremely attractive, often on beautiful, tree-lined streets with attractive gardens. But after the war England seemed to have lost the plot, and in their zealousness to rebuild as quickly as possible, they created mile after mile of lifeless streets full of brown pebble-dash exteriors or monolithic council flats, with absolutely no character or charm. They might as well have just left the rubble--at least it was interesting. Jess and I even consided a house next to a cemetary because it was an improvment over most streets!

That said, you can't broadbrush areas like you can in the US, because a perfectly lovely street might be right next to a perfectly horrid one. Couple that with a lack of a buyer's agent, and we practically have to view every single property in north London! Google Street View has been invaluable.

So far we've viewed 2 properties, driven by 13, and looked online at many more. On Sunday, Jess saw a listing for a lovely Grade II-listed* cottage right on the river Colne. It had been listed for 2 months; I called Monday afternoon to find they had accepted an offer that morning. So the search goes on...

* Equivalent to the National Register of Historic Places

What I do

When people ask me what I do, I usually answer "computers" and they
don't ask any more. Occasionally someone asks what I do with
computers, and I reply "software." In 20 years, I think only one
person has asked any further.

I don't mind--what I do is pretty boring, unless you're a
propeller-head like me. Building computer systems isn't glamorous; in
fact, 90% is behind the scenes. It is arcane, opaque, and nobody
actually knows what you're doing, not even your boss, so you need a
lot of internal motivation. When I finished a system, I was usually
the only one who knew if I'd done a good job, but I loved it.

The funny thing is, if I had to do it all over again, I don't know if
I would. 25 years ago, software was the Wild West, the final frontier,
an elite club of like-minded people doing their own thing. Today,
although still far from perfect, it's fairly well regulated, with
standards, processes, and controls--in other words, boring.

With my new job, I've moved out of software development and into
software architecture--in other words, defining the standards,
processes, and controls for software systems. While it gives me more
latitude, it certainly doesn't give me that same sense of
satisfaction.

To make matters worse, they posted me on a backwaters project, a
mainframe-based system that was 30 years old. It had no documentation,
just 13 developers who were still in the Wild West, and I was supposed
to bring the project under some sort of control. The more I looked
into, however, the worse it got, and in the end I realized that no
matter what I suggested, they didn't have the budget to do any of it.
And the fact was, the system did what it did just fine, so as long as
you didn't tinker with it, there wasn't any real reason to change it,
and the best thing I could do was leave it alone and let it die of
natural causes in a few years.

Today I was told it was the new strategic platform for insurance management.

So the good news is, I have lots of job security, a very high-profile
role, and a broad mandate to rebuild the system to support a variety
of clients for the next 10+ years. The bad news is, they still don't
have any budget.

Deficit spending

As you may be aware, Greece recently caused a stir in the European Union because of its budget deficit. Just like people, if you have to  borrow money just to pay your monthly bills, at some point you get hit with a double whammy: You can't borrow any more, and you have to cut into existing funds to repay what you owe, leaving you much worse off than before. Greece had to implement an 'austerity' plan, which triggered riots.

Of course, how much is "too much" is an open question, but % of GDP (gross domestic product) is a useful way to compare countries.  So how bad was Greece's deficit? Here are some figures from The Telegraph:

	2009 d eficit as % of GDP
Greece	12.7%
Britain	12.6%
United States	11.2%

So it's probably no surprise, then, that the new UK government issued a new budget today intending to significantly cut the deficit.  The VAT (sales tax) was increased from 17.5% to 20%, welfare payments will be slashed by 25% over the next five years, and the retirement age in the UK has been raised to 66 (although most people expect it to be raised to 67 eventually). If they stay on track, they say that will bring the deficit down to 7.8% next year, and 1.1% in five years.

But note that's the deficit, not the debt. A deficit of 1.1% means you still have to borrow £16 billion every year just to pay your bills, and you're adding to your debt, not paying it down.  A responsible budget would plan for a budget surplus, not a chronic deficit.  Great Britain has a national debt of just over US $1 trillion (the US is just over $8 trillion), which is 68% of its GDP.  The European Union dictates all member countries should have a deficit below 3%, and debt less than 60% of GDP.

In addition, that 12.6% deficit this year was caused by the government bail out of the financial sector.  In 2005, before the mess, the deficit was 3.5%.  If we can assume the worst is behind us, then why is the deficit target 7.8%?

Again, I don't have the answers, but I think these are important questions, and no one's talking about it. Instead, all I hear are public service employees threatening strikes because of the budget cuts.  It could be Greece all over again.

P.S. Obama indicated the US debt will grow to $17 trillion over the next ten years.  However, if you think Obama is bad for the deficit, you should see what the Republicans have done.

Saville Row

Last week the Saville Inquiry was finally published -- after 12 years and an estimated £400 million.  As expected, it severely criticized the British Army for firing at civilians during a civil protest 40 years ago.  Unfortunately, that's all it said.  It did not go any further into how it should have been handled, or how this kind of tragedy could be prevented in the future, or even acknowledged that conditions in Northern Ireland have not significantly changed since 1972.

One of the unexpected side effects, however, is that it re-opened a lot of old wounds.  While the families of the 13 people involved -- who were branded as 'terrorists' in the original Widgery reported -- claimed justice had finally been done, many more people wanted to know where the justice was for the estimated 3,000 British killed or injured by the IRA during 'the troubles.' I personally find it very troubling that they saw 13 civilians killed as retribution, but more troubling was that I didn't see anyone point that out.  The new government issued some very empty 'mea culpas' and then declared the matter behind them.

Given that the issue of a divided and contentious society is ongoing, and prevalent throughout the world, I don't see the matter as closed.  While governments may be a necessary institution for the administration of law, they are always dictated by the majority, and all too easily corrupted. I obviously don't have the answers, but I don't think we should stop asking the questions.

Titular stimulation

Fancy a title but don't want to bother with genealogy?  Here are six ways to rectify this:

1. Be knighted by the Queen.
2. Become a bishop in the Church of England.
3. Become a High Court judge.
4. Become a Baronet.
5. Purchase a feudal title of a Scottish baron.
6. Give £1,000,000 to the Labour party.

It used to be, the king or queen (the 'fount of honours') would bestow upon individuals land and an hereditary title, such as duke, marquess, earl, viscount, or baron.  This entitled the bearer to sit in the House of Lords, and for the eldest male to inherit the title.  Since 1958, 'life peers' could be awarded which conferred the same benefits but could not be inherited. 

'Baronets' is the only hereditary title which is not a peerage, but in the last 50 years only one has been created (in 1990, for Margaret Thatcher's husband).  Interestingly, in Britain only individuals are ennobled, not entire families as in most European countries, but of course family members are often given honorific titles. Generally, a 'Lady' is the wife of a noble, while a 'dame' (or Baroness, Countess, etc.) is a noble in her own right. (This is not strictly true, but defining all the styles of address would be tedious and, unless you run in certain social circles, unnecessary.  Just remember that you never turn your back on the Queen.)

The sovereigns also established various 'orders of chivalry,' such as the Order of the Garter.  Within an order are different classes; junior members usually have post-nominal initials, while senior members are awarded titles as well.  These are never hereditary.  Until the 19th century, these were only for military or civil service,  but in 1917 George V established the 'Order of the British Empire' to recognize achievement in any field.  This order includes five classes; only the first two confer a title:

• Knight Grand Cross (GBE) or Dame Grand Cross (GBE)
• Knight Commander (KBE) or Dame Commander (DBE)
• Commander of the British Empire (CBE)
• Officer of the British Empire (OBE)
• Member of the British Empire (MBE)

So Catherine Zeta Jones CBE does not have a title, while Dame Judi Dench DBE does.  The Queen can also award a Knight Bachelor, which is outside the orders of chivalry.  Thus, Sir Paul McCartney MBE, and Sir David Attenborough CBE both have titles.  (Note that membership requires swearing allegiance to the Queen, so foreigners, such as Bob Geldof KBE, are recognized with "honorary" titles and should not be addressed as Sir.) 

While it used to be the privilege of the King, today the government (with input from various groups and other Commonwealth countries) draws up an 'honours' list twice a year, on New Years and the Queen's Birthday.  In addition, a resigning prime minister is also allowed to submit an honours list.  The Queen (or member of the Royal Family) then presides over vesting ceremonies throughout the year. In 2006, it was revealed that several people recommended for 'life peerages' had given loans of over £1 million to the Labour party.  Although no one was formally charged, it may have contributed to Tony Blair stepping down as Prime Minister in 2007.  Blair never submitted his post-resignation honours list.

Finally, you can purchase a feudal title of a Scottish baron.  In England and Wales, feudal titles (where the title was attached to the land rather than the person) were abolished in the 17th century, but in Scotland this was only abolished in 2000, and (as of 2004) the titles could be freely traded.  According to baronytitles.com, only about 15 are sold per year, and generally cost between £50,000 and £1,000,000. Although formally you could be addressed as 'Baron,' generally it would simply be 'John of Edinburgh.'

Of course, there are many people who will sell you a title, and a bridge to go with it.  The Honours (Prevention of Abuses) Act of 1925 prohibits selling a title, and really the only people who care that you have a title are the ones who already have one, and they only care if you inherited one.

Paris photos

My tourist snaps here. There's only about 20. Jessica's are much better.

(If that link doesn't work, try this one.)

72 hours in ... Paris

Unlike Madrid, Paris was planned months ago, so it will probably not surprise you to learn we arrived with no hotel reservation, no map, no grasp of the language, and we missed our train home. Oh, and did I mention it was our two year 'anniversary'?

Of course, we *had* a hotel reservation (and a prepaid one at that), but apparently a "computer glitch" had cancelled thousands of reservations the week before, and now the hotel was full. They moved us to the Timhotel Elysee, which was fine, but neglected to mention the Timhotel Saint Lazure was just around the corner, so it was no surprise that we ended up at the wrong one, quite distraught that they didn't have our reservation, either.

We finally got it sorted and checked into our room at 10pm. We had arrived (by train) at 7pm, and had walked the length of Paris at this point, so we just wanted a quiet, local meal. That's when we discovered we were in the business district, and everything was closed for the weekend.

After walking another mile or so, we found a cute little cafe, sat down at an outside table, browsed the menu, and left. This was my first trip to Paris since becoming a vegetarian and, while Jess had warned me it would be tough, I couldn't believe it. You couldn't even get a vegetarian salad! We checked out two other places before ordering cheese ravioli and a salad nicoise sans tuna.

It was supposed to rain all weekend, so that's what we packed for. Needless to say, it was warm and sunny the entire time, except for a brief thunderstorm which we missed (we were inside the Louvre). Of course we did all the sights--a cruise on the river Seine, Eiffel tower at sunset, Sacre Couer, Notre Dame. We'd planned to do the Musee d'Orsay on Monday and the Pompidou Centre on Tuesday, but found out (the hard way) that the Musee d'Orsay is closed on Mondays and the Pompidou Centre is closed on Tuesdays. (We still went and saw the exterior of the Pompidou, then walked around the Marais district.) We made ourselves sick with cheese fondue in Montmarte. We wanted to see Saint Chapelle but ran out of time.

Speaking of "time," that smartphone I was bragging about last week adjusted all of my calendar entries to the current local time. Since Paris is one hour ahead of London, that meant my entry for the 6:15pm train home was displayed as 7:15pm. We got to the station at 6:20pm, and thought we were quite early, until Jess looked at the tickets and realized we'd just missed our train. Fortunately, they just put us on the next one, half an hour later.  (The smartphone redeemed itself when it was able to use GPS tracking to show we were going 186mph.)

All in all, I think the trip summed up our relationship perfectly: A little chaotic, maybe a bit fractious at times, but with a little flexibility and a little perseverence, we had a fantastic time.

Cheese and olives

There are a few things I miss about America (public toilet seat covers, mostly) but I can't for the life of me understand why America has such bad cheese and olives.

You have two olives: Green and black, contrasting mostly for color, not taste, because both taste like water.  And while I can understand why that would be advantageous if put in, say, a martini, I can't understand why you'd eat it.  And, in fact, I rarely did.  When I moved here, however, I practically lived on Kalkidi olives in chili.  (Jess once referred to them as the third person in our relationship.)  The variety and the flavors here are overwhelming--they even have "olive bars" in supermarkets!

Cheese is the same: In America you have 32 types of cheddar, all artificially colored, plus some swiss, mozzarella (dry or stringy), and maybe a brie. (The powdered stuff in the green can is NOT cheese!)  Ever have baked Camembert? Grilled halloumi? Welsh Rabbit on toast?  Goat's cheese tart?  All indescribably delicious.  My favorite, though, is Pie d'Angloys, a French cheese that smells like limburger but tastes like brie.  Amazing.

It was easy being vegan in the States, where cheese tasted much like the plastic it was wrapped in, but since I moved her, I haven't been able to give it up.

How to buy a house in England

In California, the process is pretty simple:

1. Find a real estate agent who will match your requirements to the market, show you various properties, negotiate the price, and step you through the rest of the process.
2. When you sign contracts, you put down a small deposit, and set a closing date, typically 30 days.
3. Your agent arranges an inspector and title search, while you find a lender. Assuming everything is satisfactory, the money and keys are exchanged through an escrow agency.
4. You record the documents with the land registry office and pay a nominal fee, usually based on the number of pages.  Average closing costs, not including points, are around $4,000, which can be included in the loan.

In England, naturally, it's a little different:

1. They don't have buyer's agents; you have to contact every real estate agent in the area to see what they have listed. (Of course, they'll show you everything they have, regardless of what you want.)
2. You negotiate the price directly, but you don't sign contracts or put down a deposit. Even if the price is agreed and the property is "under offer," the seller is free to take another offer. (They even have a word for it: "Gazumping")
3. You find a solicitor (attorney), a surveyor, an inspector, and a lender. The solicitor does the title search.  You can have a basic inspection or a structural inspection, depending on how much you're willing to pay.
4. It generally takes about 3 months from agreeing on the price to exchanging contracts (assuming the seller hasn't backed out yet). A week after that, you carry the check from the lender to the solicitor, who exchanges it for the keys.
5. You pay the government a "stamp duty" which is 1-4% of the purchase price, bringing the average closing costs to £13,000 (US $20,000), which cannot be included in the loan.

The stamp duty is tiered -- 1% up to £250,000, 3% up to £500,000, and 4% after that.  However, the percentage is not tiered -- that is, if the purchase price is £249,000, the stamp duty is £2,490, but if the price is £251,000, the stamp duty is £7,530!!  (And you can't find a house in London under £250,000.)

As you can imagine, title searches are much more complex in England than in the US, not just because it's so much older, but also because they do really weird things here, like "leaseholds" where you buy the property for 99 years, and then it reverts back to the original owner.  (The original owner can even sell the "freehold" to someone else!)  Or a shared driveway owned by someone who doesn't even live there.  Or a house with a covenant prohibiting it from being used as a pub.  I've only just started looking, and these are just a few of the stories I've already heard about! 

And just to make it a little more depressing, the standard mortgage term here is 25 years "or until normal retirement age." I only qualify for a 24-year mortgage.

Product placement

This has nothing to do with England, but I just got a "smart phone" and it is so brilliant, I just had to give it a shout.

I've wanted one for a couple of years, but nothing came close to the iPhone, and I refuse to buy Apple products on principle. (Steve Jobs is a genius, but he is also a dictator, and I am much too independent--some would say stubborn--to be told what I can and cannot do with the things I buy.)

That changed last month with the HTC Desire (which is actually Google's Nexus One, with a custom set of software).  While it won't run iPhone apps, it has access to the full "Google Android" app market, which is equally extensive and (more importantly) not subject to the whims of Cupertino. Plus it has a much better camera, can play music in the background, and includes Google navigation, free--a real boon now that I have a car!

In fact, I was looking at replacing my personal laptop, which is falling apart -- the monitor doesn't work half the time, the 'G' key has broken off, and it constantly overheats and shuts down! -- but this phone is so good, I think I'll just use it in conjunction with my work laptop, and not even have a personal computer!

So I've replaced my old phone, my PDA, a SatNav, my camera, my MP3 player, and my laptop with one tiny device.  However, it also meant setting up another contact list -- I already had five! -- plus a whole new way of managing tasks and appointments. I played with a lot of things before coming up with these six apps--all free:

1. Remember the Milk, an online task organizer which automatically syncs with Astrid on the phone
2. Google Calendar (which also syncs with the phone automatically)
3. Soocial, which syncs my contact lists on Gmail, Hotmail, and phone (too bad it doesn't sync Skype or LinkedIn)
4. Memento, which lets me store notes in any format I like
5. Nimbuzz, which manages all of my IMs (Windows, Yahoo, Google, and Skype, all in one place)
6. Last.fm for streaming radio (I'm not a big fan of Spotify)

By the way, I'm not being paid for recommending these; I tried a lot of apps and these were the best.  If you join Soocial, though, I do get one benefit: Not only will it sync your contacts lists (including Outlook and Yahoo Mail), but it will also update my contact list whenever you make changes! How cool is that? (It's free up to 250 contacts, and 3 different applications.)

P.S. Google also provides some amazing voice-to-text tools, including voice commands and translation into five languages!  I now dictate text messages, and I may start doing the same for this blog.

Charge of the light brigade

Imagine two armies, both heavily armed, camped on either side of a narrow hill pass.  Neither one can rout the other, because it would be suicide, but they engage in repeated skirmishes, attacking and retreating.  One day, the Russian army captures some guns from the British army. The next day, the British commander orders the Cavalry to harrass the Russians, to prevent them from removing the guns. However, a simple miscommunication meant that the cavalary went after the wrong guns...and straight into the pass, surrounded on three sides by Russian artillery.

The Light Brigade went first, with the Heavy Brigade behind, but the Lieutenant-General quickly realized the situation and halted the Heavy Brigade.  The Light Brigade, despite heavy casualties, miraculously made it through the valley pass and actually forced the Russians into a brief retreat.  However, realising they had no support, they tried to retreat themselves.  The Russians returned to their guns and opened fire, decimating the Light Brigade.  Only half of the original 600 survived, and most of those were injured or captured.

Although it was a significant failure, the bravery of the British captured the imagination of the public.  Even the French Marshal commented, "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre. C'est de la folie." ("It is magnificent, but it is not war. It is madness.")  Alfred, Lord Tennyson, of course penned the most famous tribute:

Half a league, half a league,
  Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred.
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldiers knew
  Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to the right of them,
Cannon to the left of them,
Cannon in front of them
  Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
  Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turned in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army while
  All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
  Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
  Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
  All the world wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
  Noble six hundred!

Correction

Sorry, the Madrid photos are here.

36 hours in...Madrid

I had a ticket on Easyjet--the UK equivalent of Southwest Airlines--to Mallorca last month, but my aunt got sick so I had to fly to Atlanta instead. Not wanting to waste the ticket, and since Easyjet doesn't fly to the States, and since I'd just accepted the new job and didn't want to take time off, I randomly chose to go to Madrid one weekend...and then convinced Jess to go with me.

Despite both of us being sick that weekend, and we had to walk all over the city, we had a fantastic time. We saw flamenco, art, palaces, and lots of fountains. We flew home late Sunday night, only to remember it was a bank holiday weekend, meaning we had Monday off and could have stayed an extra day.

Pictures here.