Radio silence

My aunt passed away June 15, and my uncle July 20.  It's been over a month now, and I really haven't been able to deal with it.  Of course I've carried on, as one does, but my heart hasn't been in it.  I sleep a lot, eat too much, and rarely go out.  Work has suffered, my social life has died, and I really haven't spoken with anyone.  I know at some point I'll snap out of it; I just didn't expect it to last so long.

Possibly it's because I haven't marked my uncle's death. My mother held a small service in California, but finances precluded me from attending.  My cousin plans to scatter their ashes in autumn, so hopefully I'll be able to be there and find some closure, but I don't know when that will happen. 

A lot has happened in the past two months, not least of which was the Olympics, but also Edinburgh, Liverpool, my friends Ellen and Jim, Derren Brown, Paul Simon, my new phone, security at the synagogue, etc. and I know I should at least acknowledge them, but I just don't have anything left in me. I did write about my uncle, but even that took such tremendous effort, and took me days to finish.

I'll end this with something my uncle said near the end: "I've been around a long time and I've learned that the only affairs that matter are affairs of the heart."  My uncle and I took completely different routes through life, so it's amazing we both arrived at the same conclusion.