Food

Q: What do you get when you cross a vegetarian with four coeliacs, one lactose intolerant and one nut allergy?

A: Delicious food.

Long gone are the days when being diagnosed as coeliac was a culinary death sentence.  Today, even in the erstwhile backwaters of New Zealand, there is a gluten free aisle in every supermarket, and although the bulk of items are pre-packaged cakes unfit for human consumption, they taste more or less the same as pre-packaged cakes in the bread aisle. There are several brands of gluten-free pasta, ranging from passable to "tastes like corn" (because it is corn).  Of course, pasta was only ever meant as a vehicle for sauce and I can empty the crisper tray into a skillet and turn out a fantastic sauce.  (Of course each child will pick certain things out--one the mushrooms, one the chickpeas, one the pasta--but that's normal.)

Cheese makes everything go down better, except for the lactose-intolerant where cheese acts in the reverse direction.  Fortunately she is responding well to the lactase tablets, and so the rest of us do not have to suffer (either from the lack of cheese or the digestive complaining after).  The nut allergy was a bit of a challenge to adapt to, which is funny considering I was nut-free for almost ten years, and only started eating them again about a year ago.  (However, I've been making up for lost time and eating quite a lot of nuts.)  After several accusations of trying to kill the child, I've learned to use two knives to make a peanut butter and jam sandwich -- and to make sure I don't double-dip the jam knife after it has touched the peanut butter.

All that aside, I'm used to cooking for one person, two tops, and even then my chef skills greatly atrophied during the 18 months while I was travelling for work. Suddenly cooking for five has been a challenge.  I get laughed at when I put out a small pan for pasta -- and out comes the large stock pot.  I know longer buy bagged lettuce because the kids will demolish an entire head of iceberg in a day.  (I also have to guard the cucumber jealously or it will never reach the table.)

Thankfully, although the kids can be fickle, they aren't against trying new foods, so I've been able to introduce mexican, thai and even some Jewish foods.  They can't deal with spice so I've toned things down, although they still have a glass of milk ready whenever I feed them, just in case.

And although their mom hasn't raised them vegetarian, meat was never a focus of the meal, and so they haven't missed it at all.  I did feed them brisket once--although it was a small amount in a large bowl of cabbage borscht.  (I also gave them beer--although it was a small amount in a large vat of Welsh rarebit, served with a locally produced fig chutney and some vine-ripened tomatoes.  Absolute heaven.)