Today was one of those days, where you regret getting out of bed and every time you think it can't get any worse, it does. The only thing good about today was reaching the end, and knowing tomorrow has to be better.
It started, of course, looking like a pretty good day. That's how they get you. If you were expecting a bad day, it would just confirm your worries, but by teasing you with a glimmer of hope, it can crush you completely. That glimmer was that I had a fairly light day -- normally I'm in meetings five hours of the day, and then trying to pack eight hours of work into what remains. Today I only had two meetings -- one at 10:30am and one at 1:30pm. I had scheduled a dentist appointment in the morning and was meeting my partner and a friend for lunch at noon. I even thought I might be home on time for once.
My bike was in the shop so I had the car; thankfully my partner didn't need it that day. The dentist appointment ran late, but I didn't have any cavities, so I was happy right until I got back to the car, when I saw three messages on my phone:
1. A meeting with senior leadership had been scheduled for today at 9am. It was now 9:20am.
2. My partner, it turned out, needed the car to get to a school meeting at 2:30pm. (The child in question had sworn it was on Thursday, but thankfully my partner checked and it was today.)
3. The bike shop sent a text saying the bike was ready.
At this point, I should have driven straight to work to salvage what was left of the meeting. It turned out the meeting invite was accidentally sent to my co-worker. Yesterday at 4pm he realised it was for me and so forwarded it without telling me I had to be there at 9am, and of course I didn't check my email after 4pm so I had no idea.
However, I made the (unwise) decision to go pick up my bike instead. My logic was this: Parking around the office is a nightmare, so by the time I got in I would have missed most of the meeting, and then I would have still had to sort out the car for the afternoon. Better to cut my losses and cycle in.
I got to the bike shop to find my bike on the rack, being worked on. I said I'd gotten a text saying it was finished and the tech told me he'd lost one of the nuts so he'd jimmied something together, but he just found the nut so he was putting it back on. That was slightly disconcerting, since the nut in question held on the derailleur, and I wondered if he'd planned on telling me about his makeshift repair, but I decided it wasn't worth making a fuss about it and waiting for him to finish. He took ten minutes.
Now it was closing on 10am and I was getting worried I'd be late for my 10:30 meeting as well! I then made the (unwise) decision to drive in after all, and pray to the parking gods to have mercy on me. Except the new car doesn't have a bicycle rack and the bicycle takes up the entire back seat, so I couldn't leave it in. I drove home, left it in the hallway (I could have just as easily put it in the garage) and raced off to work. The parking gods were smiling, but at me rather than on me, In fact, they were practically crying with laughter. After driving around for 10 minutes I ended up parking 15 minutes from work, in a 2-hour zone. (Cycling would have taken less than 20 minutes.) And it started to rain. I was in a suit with no raincoat or umbrella.
I arrived for the 10:30 meeting panting, wet and in agony because Sunday I'd just bought a brand new pair of leather work shoes, and today was my first day wearing them. In the shop they'd been really comfortable, but today they were rubbing me in all the wrong places. Of course, having walked on the pavement for 15 minutes, they are now mine to keep. (Hopefully I'll break them in eventually.)
After getting my knuckles rapped for missing the 9am meeting, the rest of the meeting went fine, but only because my boss had forgotten about the three things he assigned me two weeks ago which I still haven't finished. (See "5 hours of meetings per day," above.) I got out of that meeting and had half an hour to respond to my emails before running off to meet my partner and friend for lunch.
We were meeting at my partner's work, which is only a ten minute walk from my work, but I had to move the car before the 2 hour window expired, and it was in the opposite direction. I texted my friend and partner to start lunch without me. Of course, I tried to move the car closer to my wife's work, but again the parking gods were pissing themselves with laughter, and after 15 minutes of circling I ended up parking even further away than where I started. I walked to our designated rendezvous point, texting my partner and wondering why she wasn't texting me back. It turned out she'd gotten stuck in a meeting, so our friend had just been wandering around for 20 minutes looking for either of us!!
We finally met up, and my partner joined us a few minutes later, but by then our friend had to leave, and I had to get back for my 1pm meeting. We tried to get some food but both cafes had a long queue so I gave my partner the car keys, took her bike and left without eating. As soon as I started cycling, it started raining again.
The 1pm meeting was very frustrating because it was with a user who believed the IT department was only there to make her job easier. If you are still under such illusions, let me tell you: The IT department is there to make your job go away, period. Last week I was in a meeting with a different group who were arguing that spending $30,000 on a new system would be cost-effective because it would save their team 10 hours per month in manually preparing reports. I first pointed out that even by their calculations, it would take 2.5 years to see a return on the investment, and then I pointed out that unless someone was being fired, there was no actual cost savings. They didn't get it.
So this user had the same attitude: I don't want to look in two systems for this information, so copy all the data from one system into the other system, and then keep it in sync. I politely pointed out three times that she had no business case to justify this, but she was firmly of the opinion that I was just there to do whatever she asked. Thankfully, after the meeting I had a good idea: I sent a message to senior management pointing out that they wanted this system right away, but if I did what she asked it would delay implementation by at least three months, so we should put that into "phase 2." They immediately agreed, and I'll be sure to kill any "phase 2."
That high lasted all of 5 minutes, when my boss decided to share his vision of the future. He passed me a sheaf of documents which he'd been quietly running past the CEO, and he felt the seeds were starting to take root. Unfortunately, I looked at the papers and realised it was a stupid idea.
Trying to be as polite as possible, I pointed out he was shutting the barn door after the horse had bolted. His plan to create a "data czar" was fine, but about 15 years too late. Data was already replicated and duplicated across the enterprise, and it was tied directly to the applications, so you couldn't just magically declare the data was "controlled." First, you need to physically put something between the app and the data, then you can start to claw back the data. I'd already started to put plans together to do just that, but it was at least a two year project, and there was no point in brining someone on board before then.
My co-worker also pointed out that he'd had a data architect, whom nobody liked so he got rid of him earlier this year. However, instead of firing him, he'd made him redundant, and under NZ law if you make someone redundant you can't create a similar position for at least a year! (I did not know that.) On top of that, there is already a team in charge of "data services" so this new role would be a direct challenge to them. So this plan was just a disaster waiting to happen. Of course he didn't listen to us.
When confronted with ignorance, I always turn to pictures. The aforementioned data architect had tried to make some system flow diagrams, but he'd managed to make them so overly complex that they were completely useless, and I had to start from scratch. I drew up the "current environment" and the "future state" and just capturing the number of systems and data feeds I was aware of, it took six hours. (It also highlighted how little I still know of all the systems and data feeds.)
It was now 11pm, and I still had to bike home, in the dark, wearing a suit and uncomfortable shoes, without a jacket. (Did I mention it's winter in New Zealand?) I texted my partner hoping she'd take mercy, but she'd already gone to bed, I normally wear a hi-vis vest but of course I didn't have that, either, but someone had left a bright green towel hanging outside, so I wrapped it around my shoulders. I'm very grateful I did that because as soon as I struck out, it started raining. Then it started pouring. Then it got very windy.
I was soaked like a rat. My glasses were covered in raindrops and I couldn't see a thing. The towel miraculously stayed on even in the blowing wind. (I had visions of it flying off and landing in a puddle, but because it was someone else's towel I would have had to stop and get it and carry it home!) Thankfully there were very few cars out, but surprisingly there were several people. I'm sure they will all be telling stories tomorrow about the guy in a suit with a green cape cycling in the rain at 11pm the night before.
I was so grateful when I got home, but it was clear I was the only one who felt that way: The porch light was turned off, the table was cleared except for my dinner dishes, and the remnants of dinner were sitting, ice cold, on the countertop. It was quite depressing. I left my partner's bike in the hallway (it would have been just as easy for me to put in the garage as well) so the kids will have fun maneuvering around two bikes tomorrow. I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of tea, and then wrote this as a form of catharsis, to let the day go. Of course, it's now 1:30am, I have to be up in six hours, and I get to do it all again tomorrow...
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