Thursday, August 17, 2023

Drasha - 8 July 2023

My drashot tend to fall into two themes: Family or progressive Judaism. This portion is all about family, so let's talk about progressive Judaism.


The daughters of Z'lofchad petition Moses for their father's holding, and God responds that their request is just. This is often celebrated as women's rights, as progressive Judaism. However, God then spells out male-preference primogeniture: All sons will inherit first, and daughters only if there are no sons. That may have seemed revolutionary at the time, but hardly seems worth celebrating today.


Immediately following this, in Numbers 36, other members of the Menashe clan argue that when the daughters of Z'lofchad marry, their holdings will be transferred to their husbands, thus reducing the Menashe portion. God resolves this by declaring the women who inherit property can only marry within their own tribe. One step forward, two steps back.


As progressive Jews, we constantly struggle with morally problematic statements like this. How do we treat the Torah as a moral authority while honestly confronting the ethical issues it raises? Dr. Rabbi Zev Farber argues that responses fall into three basic categories:


Fundamentalist—Double down and argue that the Torah reflects God's will and must by definition be moral; it is actually our modern ethical sense that is wrong.


Dismissive—Such laws simply showcase the worthlessness of religion, which should be toppled entirely for the betterment of society.


Selective—Point to uplifting parts of the Torah and ignore the problematic ones. 


The third option is quite popular because it's easy, but it's also self-serving: How do we engage with the fundamentalists, the dismissives or the apologists if we aren't engaging with the same texts they are? This is not a question of different interpretations; this is them having a viewpoint and us feigning ignorance.


The good news is, we're not the first to grapple with issues in the Torah; the Talmud is almost exclusively dedicated to this. For example, the rabbinic sages were quite distressed by capital punishment: how does Judaism hold that life is sacred when the Torah casually states, "One who insults one's father or mother shall be put to death"?


The sages' response was ingenious: They didn't argue the Torah was wrong, but they put so many restrictions on it that it became moot. Cases concerning offences punishable by death had to be decided by 23 judges, with at least 13 finding the defendant guilty. (And if all 23 find the defendant guilty, then the person is released, because clearly something was wrong with the court.) Two witnesses were required, they both had to be adult Jewish men who had seen the crime in full, had seen each other, had warned the defendant that the crime was a capital offence, had heard the defendant say he was aware but was going to do the crime anyway, and the witnesses had to agree to be the executioners. (Some of this comes from Deuteronomy – "A person shall be put to death only on the testimony of two or more witnesses… Let the hands of the witnesses be the first to put [the condemned] to death" – although in that portion God was only referring to blasphemy and idolatry.)


I think it's fair to say very few executions occurred under these conditions. The Mishnah states that a Sanhedrin that executes one person in seven years — or seventy years, according to Eleazar ben Azariah — is considered bloodthirsty. In 75 years, two people have been executed by the Israeli government: Adolf Eichmann in 1962 and Meir Tobianski in 1948. I don't need to say anything about Eichmann but you may not be familiar with Captain Tobianski. He was accused of spying by the director of the IDF's intelligence branch during the War of Independence, and after a field court martial was executed by firing squad. A year later, an inquiry was held and Captain Tabianski was exonerated, reburied in a military ceremony and his gravestone reads, "Killed by mistake." The man who ordered his execution was tried and convicted of manslaughter.


In 1954, Israel outlawed the death penalty except for treason and war crimes. In 1959, the Central Conference of American Rabbis and the Union for Reform Judaism passed a resolution formally opposing the death penalty, calling it "a stain upon civilization and our religious conscience."


Dr. Rabbi Aaron Panken talks of a rabbinical school discussion with Dr. Lawrence Hoffman, debating the difference between "Truth" and "truth". Truth with a capital "T" was a singular, irrefutable truth that could never be changed or adapted, while "truth" with a lower-case "t" represented truths that were malleable, transformed or reformed by time, location and experience, seen differently by those with varying outlooks. By that definition, the Torah is not always "true" but it is always "True" in that its ideas and narratives remain the vital underpinnings of Jewish life, debate and thought.


So the "Truth" of Torah is the march of progress, from stoning rebellious children to supporting them. We celebrate the daughters of Z'lofchad while we reject male-preference primogeniture and the entire concept that when women marry their holdings become the property of the husband. We don't deny the Torah contains these things, but that those were truths - lower case t - for the age and the time that have been re-interpreted under the Truth - upper case T - of tikkun olam, making the world more just over time.


Shabbat shalom.


1 Farber, Z. (2021). Can the Torah Be a Moral Authority in Modern Times?. TheTorah.com. https://thetorah.com/article/can-the-torah-be-a-moral-authority-in-modern-times
2 Exodus 21:17
3 Deuteronomy 17.6-7
5 Panken, A. (2015). Torah's Progressive Truth. TheTorah.com. https://thetorah.com/article/torat-emet-torahs-progressive-truth


Tuesday, August 15, 2023

WTF?

The original plan was simple: Take a large laundry area+second toilet and turn it to a  large laundry/storage area+small bathroom, then take a small bedroom+large bathroom and convert it to a large bedroom+small bathroom. There was a clear dividing wall, and because we would always have a working bathroom there was no need for us to move out. So what the fuck happened?

First, the builder thought the bathroom and laundry should be reversed - big bathroom with a window and small laundry. However, that left no storage area, and so it wasn't going to happen. 

Both the builder and plumber said a shower-over-bath was out of fashion, but I wasn't willing to get rid of the bath, so I re-drew the plans and squeezed a separate bath and shower in the family bathroom. This stole space from the other rooms, of course, but crucially it meant I had to tear down the dividing wall, so I wouldn't have a working bathroom. This was probably for the best, as it meant the builders could do everything at once, but it meant we had to move out. The builder estimated 4-6 weeks. 

Remarkably, my wife found a couple who were going to Europe for 3 months and wanted a house sitter. More remarkably, they didn't have any pets, as my allergies probably couldn't deal with that for any length of time, and they had three bedrooms. We had two kids at home (although one was only with us for a couple of weeks) and this was some divine-intervention level luck. 

Back to the house, I noticed the driveway was about the same size as the part of the house we were remodeling, so I took a role of masking tape and marked off all the walls, then drew the fixtures in chalk. The first thing we noticed was that the family bathroom, although bigger than the first iteration, was still too small for a separate tub and shower, so we went back to a shower over tub. The second thing we noticed was what I thought was chalk was actually indelible on porous surfaces, such as a driveway, so the driveway now has blue toilet fixtures drawn all over it. 

Once we agreed on the new layout, we started looking at fixtures. We went to the fancy plumbing shops but It quickly became obvious we had a Home Depot budget. So no tiling, no "wet areas," everything was modular with acrylic walls, etc. It was the most vanilla layout imaginable, but we consoled ourselves that it was functional, and we could upgrade later (even though we know we never will).

The couple were leaving on Tuesday and the builder said he could start Thursday, so we were all set to go. I put in an order for the fixtures and we started packing our stuff. My daughter had the day off and my son didn't have any early classes so it was the perfect day to move. 

Monday morning, the builder called and said he could actually start Wednesday, which was great. Monday afternoon, the couple called and said the wife had an atrial fibrillation and they were cancelling their trip.

Now this is the weird part of the story. We didn't have a plan B and I was mentally preparing to call the builder and cancel. He was squeezing us in before he started a big job, so I knew we couldn't postpone as he wouldn't be available again for at least six months. I was back to square one, trying to find a builder, only now I had a bunch of fixtures on the way.

But the couple, who knew our situation, said they were going to stay with their daughter nearby so we could still move into their home! That was very generous, but it was also crazy. Who in their right mind would kick an elderly couple out of their home while they're dealing with medical issues? Turns out, I would.

They just asked for an extra day to pack so they would move out Wednesday morning, the same day the builder was starting. My daughter was working and my wife had to drive her, and my son had an early morning lecture. Needless to say, it was a bit mental but thankfully it was only ten minutes away. Then we started calling everyone we knew to find another place to live. (I looked at some long-term rentals but the cheapest were $1000/week and that was just not in the budget.) 

We had several friends going on holiday and we put together a complicated plan, moving between three houses over 6 weeks. Then, one of the friends had to cancel. In desperation, my wife called the builder and asked when we could move back in. He said he should have the electrics and plumbing working first week of September, so the new plan is to move into our friends' house on August 18, when they go to babysit their grandkids, then back to our house before they get home on September 7.

Meanwhile, the renovation is ahead of schedule, which is great, but those fixtures I ordered two weeks ago still haven't arrived, and I can't even get a delivery estimate! I'm just told it's with the manufacturer. I think Kiwis have perfected the art of "drop shipping" in that, they just drop the ball. The builder is already talking about having to stop work if they don't have the fixtures, which would mean they won't be ready for us to move back.

Watch this space.