WTF?

The original plan was simple: Take a large laundry area+second toilet and turn it to a  large laundry/storage area+small bathroom, then take a small bedroom+large bathroom and convert it to a large bedroom+small bathroom. There was a clear dividing wall, and because we would always have a working bathroom there was no need for us to move out. So what the fuck happened?

First, the builder thought the bathroom and laundry should be reversed - big bathroom with a window and small laundry. However, that left no storage area, and so it wasn't going to happen. 

Both the builder and plumber said a shower-over-bath was out of fashion, but I wasn't willing to get rid of the bath, so I re-drew the plans and squeezed a separate bath and shower in the family bathroom. This stole space from the other rooms, of course, but crucially it meant I had to tear down the dividing wall, so I wouldn't have a working bathroom. This was probably for the best, as it meant the builders could do everything at once, but it meant we had to move out. The builder estimated 4-6 weeks. 

Remarkably, my wife found a couple who were going to Europe for 3 months and wanted a house sitter. More remarkably, they didn't have any pets, as my allergies probably couldn't deal with that for any length of time, and they had three bedrooms. We had two kids at home (although one was only with us for a couple of weeks) and this was some divine-intervention level luck. 

Back to the house, I noticed the driveway was about the same size as the part of the house we were remodeling, so I took a role of masking tape and marked off all the walls, then drew the fixtures in chalk. The first thing we noticed was that the family bathroom, although bigger than the first iteration, was still too small for a separate tub and shower, so we went back to a shower over tub. The second thing we noticed was what I thought was chalk was actually indelible on porous surfaces, such as a driveway, so the driveway now has blue toilet fixtures drawn all over it. 

Once we agreed on the new layout, we started looking at fixtures. We went to the fancy plumbing shops but It quickly became obvious we had a Home Depot budget. So no tiling, no "wet areas," everything was modular with acrylic walls, etc. It was the most vanilla layout imaginable, but we consoled ourselves that it was functional, and we could upgrade later (even though we know we never will).

The couple were leaving on Tuesday and the builder said he could start Thursday, so we were all set to go. I put in an order for the fixtures and we started packing our stuff. My daughter had the day off and my son didn't have any early classes so it was the perfect day to move. 

Monday morning, the builder called and said he could actually start Wednesday, which was great. Monday afternoon, the couple called and said the wife had an atrial fibrillation and they were cancelling their trip.

Now this is the weird part of the story. We didn't have a plan B and I was mentally preparing to call the builder and cancel. He was squeezing us in before he started a big job, so I knew we couldn't postpone as he wouldn't be available again for at least six months. I was back to square one, trying to find a builder, only now I had a bunch of fixtures on the way.

But the couple, who knew our situation, said they were going to stay with their daughter nearby so we could still move into their home! That was very generous, but it was also crazy. Who in their right mind would kick an elderly couple out of their home while they're dealing with medical issues? Turns out, I would.

They just asked for an extra day to pack so they would move out Wednesday morning, the same day the builder was starting. My daughter was working and my wife had to drive her, and my son had an early morning lecture. Needless to say, it was a bit mental but thankfully it was only ten minutes away. Then we started calling everyone we knew to find another place to live. (I looked at some long-term rentals but the cheapest were $1000/week and that was just not in the budget.) 

We had several friends going on holiday and we put together a complicated plan, moving between three houses over 6 weeks. Then, one of the friends had to cancel. In desperation, my wife called the builder and asked when we could move back in. He said he should have the electrics and plumbing working first week of September, so the new plan is to move into our friends' house on August 18, when they go to babysit their grandkids, then back to our house before they get home on September 7.

Meanwhile, the renovation is ahead of schedule, which is great, but those fixtures I ordered two weeks ago still haven't arrived, and I can't even get a delivery estimate! I'm just told it's with the manufacturer. I think Kiwis have perfected the art of "drop shipping" in that, they just drop the ball. The builder is already talking about having to stop work if they don't have the fixtures, which would mean they won't be ready for us to move back.

Watch this space.