Guy Forsyth

Lyrics from "Long, long time"

When I was a kid I used to draw airplanes with stars and bars shooting down airplanes adorned with hammers and sickles.
I remember listening to songs about trains and feeling the rush of wonder at the possibility that the world was infinite and accessible all at the same time.
Then it was songs about highways and born to be wild and little red Corvette and the road went on forever.
But now its clogged bumper to bumper with SUVs and two-story pickup trucks that can drive over anything except the two-story pickup truck in front of it.
Now all the songs are about gangsters and guns and everyone wants to pull off the crime of the century, and get away with it.
We Americans are Freedom-loving people and nothing says freedom like getting away with it.
We went from Billy The Kid to Richard Nixon, Exxon, Enron, OJ Simpson. We used to dream about heroes, but now its just how to beat the system.
So where do we go to dream now? Up on the roof of the projects, staring into the the city lights to see if they’ve built golden arches on the moon yet?
Self-medicated, half-sedated, trying our best to stay distracted, living life according to the TV set.
Corporations owning nations, telling us don’t change the station, it’s the only safe way to win the human race.
I wonder how the world sees us, rich beyond compare, powerful without equal, a spoiled, drunk 15-year-old waving a gun in their face.

UK taxes

Taxes are higher in the UK, but they are fairly straightforward compared to the dog's breakfast in the US.

The vast majority of Britons are covered under the Pay As You Earn (PAYE) system, whereby the employer withholds a certain percentage of your salary and sends it to the taxman instead. (Your bank does the same with any interest you earn.) At the end of the year, you're done--you don't have to fill out a tax form, file for a refund, or anything like that. And there are just two tax rates:

• 20% on the first £37,400
• 40% over that

They introduced a third tier this year to "punish" the bankers, which is 50% over £150,000.  (If you make £200,000/year, that's an extra £5,000 in taxes.  That'll show 'em.)

In addition, you pay a National Insurance tax, which is 11%  on the first £44,000 and 1% after that. That goes to fund your pension (social security to you) and jobseekers allowance (unemployment).

When you leave a job, your employer gives you a P-45 form which you must give to your next employer to avoid overpaying taxes for the year.  P-45, then, is the equivalent of "pink slip" over here.  (If you file for unemployment benefits, you get a UB-40 form--some of you may get the reference to a popular band.)


Have a child?  Then you file for a child claim benefit at birth, and you automatically get a weekly payment deposited to your bank account depending on how much you earn, whether or not you're married, how many kids you have, etc.  (You will also get a voucher for £250 to set up a trust fund for the child.) In April, Her Majesty's Customs will review your circumstances and automatically adjust your payment for the year.  And when the child turns 18, they will automatically stop payments.

Give to charity?  You can't claim it as a tax exemption, but you can 'gift aid' it, which means the charity gets the basic rate instead, which is an extra 20% on top of your contribution.

Saving for retirement?  You can make pre-tax contributions to a company pension plan up to £250,000 per year, and you can take out a tax-free personal savings account up to £10,000 per year. (You can even withdraw the savings penalty-free at any time; you just lose any future tax benefit.)

Of course, there's a multitude of additional taxes:

• In lieu of a sales tax they have a value added tax (VAT), which is 17.5%, but more interestingly it is paid along the entire supply chain.  That is, in the US, the consumer pays the entire tax based on the purchase price, but in the UK if you buy something wholesale at £1 and sell it to a retailer for £2, you pay 17.5 pence to the taxman.  If the retailer then sells it for £3 (ie £1 profit) then he owes 17.5 pence to the taxman as well.  (VAT is always included in the retail price, so you don't know what the retail markup is.)
• Stamp duty is due on real estate deals, with a sliding scale so the first £125,000 is free, and anything above £500,000 is 4%. (They've temporarily increased that to £250,000 for first time home buyers.)
• Capital gains are charged a flat 18% and cover everything you buy and sell except for your car and main home.
• Inheritance tax is 40% on any amount above £325,000.  Interestingly, you can make a gift of any amount tax-free, but any gifts made within seven years of your death are considered part of your estate.  (The Royal Family is exempt from inheritance taxes.)
• Council tax (property tax to you) is collected by the local government.
• There's the usual sin taxes excise duty on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, motor vehicles, airline flights, and petrol.  (The TV license is effectively a tax, but it goes entirely to fund the BBC.)

Fortunately for me, the UK has a reciprocal tax arrangement with the US, such that as long as I'm paying UK taxes, I don't have to pay US taxes (up to £90,000 or so).  Similarly, if you live outside the UK, you don't have to pay UK taxes -- although that can be a slippery slope, and an important case was decided this year against a man who claimed to be "non-domiciled" in the UK but since he owned a home in the UK, a business in the UK, and his family still lived in the UK, the government ruled he was still liable for UK taxes. (I know that shouldn't seem like a big surprise, but the ruling actually affects thousands of people.)

Income and outgo

Maundy Money

Since we were just talking about money, and we were just talking about the queen, I wanted to bring the two together. (Apart from Forbes' estimate of her personal worth at US$500 million.)

Maundy Thursday is the Thursday before Easter. It is the day of the Last Supper, and "Maundy" comes from the French "Mande" (meaning "command") which comes from the command given by Christ at the Last Supper, "Love one another as I have loved you.”

Since 1200, the monarch has traditionally given money to the poor on Maundy Thursday, which evolved into the Ceremony of the Royal Maundy where, since 1662, the Queen distributes money to deserving senior citizens, one man and one woman for each year of the sovereign's age. They receive ceremonial red and white purses -- one contains regular money, and the other contains a specially-minted set of pennies, one for each year of the sovereign's age.

As the Queen was 82 this Easter, she would have given 82 coins to 164 people, or just under 13,500 pennies. By comparison, the Royal Mint produced 7.82 million regular pennies. In addition, the Maundy money is actually made of sterling silver, and has the original Queen Elizabeth profile. (The money has been updated three times during the Queen's reign.) Now, I'm no numismatist, but I'd bet Maundy money is worth quite a bit more than face value.

Out of hibernation

England is waking up, after its long winter nap, and there's so much going on.  In fact, I've already missed Carter's Steam Fair, with actual vintage, steam-powered carnival rides!

• May 9 is the Covent Garden Puppet Festival, where Punch and Judy have been performing for almost 350 years!
• Kenwood house has been hosting Saturday evening concerts since 1951.  (Sadly, they've moved them from the lake to the green.)  This year features Diana Krall, Rufus Wainwright, and Jamie Collum.
• Hampton Court Palace has its own festival in June, with Van Morrison, Jackson Browne, and Gipsy Kings.
• The Royal Horticultural Society hosts the prestigious Chelsea flower show, end of May.
• The National Theatre covers its courtyard in astroturf (photo below) and hosts free events all summer.
• "More London" hosts a series of free events at the The Scoop, a large outdoor amphitheatre next to City Hall.  They usually do theatre in June, music in July, and films in August.
• Trafalgar Square hosts numerous celebrations.  I just missed 'Holland Day' last weekend; St George's day is on April 24.  This year the Fourth Plinth will have (wait for it...) a large-scale replica of Nelson's ship, HMS Victory, in a bottle!
• The Open Air theatre in Regent's Park is like a tiny Hollywood Bowl...with Shakespeare.
• Hyde Park has a series of outdoor concerts, including Hard Rock calling, plus its own "lido" (outdoor swimming area)
• Somerset House hosts a series of concerts and films in its courtyard.
• Wimbledon and Royal Ascot are both in June (and I can't afford to go to either)
• Ben & Jerry's hosts a 'Sundae' concert in July at Clapham Common
• Richard Thompson's 'Meltdown' is at the Royal Festival Hall, with Elvis Costello, Beausoleil, and Seasick Steve.  (I already have my tickets for Loudon Wainwright--whoo-hoo!)
• The Southbank Centre will be hosting the Royal Society's summer exhibition this year, with life-size pterodactyl models!
• The Kew Gardens treetop walkway is open all summer (Jess gets in free...and we still haven't been!)
• The Tate Britain has Henry Moore and Tate Modern has Paul Gauguin.
• In May and June, over 250 unique elephant sculptures (some life-size!) will go up all over London.
• September has both the Great Gorilla Run and Great British Duck Race where thousands of people don gorilla suits and hundreds of thousands of rubber ducks float down the Thames (uh...respectively).
• And the summer will end with a bang at the Thames festival in September, followed by an always-fantastic fireworks display.

After September things quiet down, with Dewali in October and Bonfire night in November, before England settles back, storing its energy and preparing for another fantastic outburst next summer.

More UK place names

Mold (in Clwyd)
Three Cocks (in Powys)
Assloss Road (in Ayrshire)
Lickey End (in Worcestershire)
Bishop's Itchington (in Warwickshire)
Burnt Houses (in Durham)
Catbrain (in Gloucestershire)
Great Cockup (in the Lake District)
Driving directions from Ham to Sandwich (in Kent)
Fattahead (in Banff)
Upper and Lower Slaughter (in the Cotswolds)
North Piddle (in Worcester)
Directions from Old Leake to New Leake (in Lincolnshire)
Scratchy Bottom (in Dorset)
Ugley (in Hertfordshire)
And, uh, well, I'll just let you click on this one...

Red letter day

Actually, the term has nothing to do with the post -- it refers to calendars, where holy days have been noted in red since the 14th century. Interestingly, on red letter days, judges of the English High Court and doctors of a university wear scarlet robes instead of black.

That said, I'm actually referring to the post -- this morning I put in the mail my resignation letter for my current job, my acceptance letter for my new job, and my work permit renewal request. Quite the trinity.

The work permit was actually my second attempt. I had printed (and filled out) the 66-page form at the beginning of the month, but they needed some bank statements so I had to wait a week before putting it in the mail. A week later, they returned the form because, on April 6, they had increased the fee by £20!

They also suggested I fill out a new set of forms, because the ones I had were only valid until the 27th, but I honestly couldn't be bothered. So we'll see if they kick it back again. If they do, I will run out of time on my visa and actually have to leave the country. However, considering they have my passport, that's going to be very difficult to do.

I also want to mention that two years ago, the work permit form was 10 pages and cost £300. Today, it is 66 pages and costs £820! Considering the sole reason I chose the UK over Australia was because the UK work permit form was easier to understand, I wonder if that would still be the case.

Amazing what small, insignificant decisions can have on your life.

The Queen

It's the Queen's birthday tomorrow (the 21st), though for some odd reason the country doesn't celebrate it until June.

And as such I realized that I've talked about English history, English culture, English food, English wars -- even driving in England -- but haven't discussed the most defining characteristic of England, the Queen!

So I'll start with two remarkable statistics:

1. There are 44 nations that have monarchs as heads of state, and Elizabeth II is the head of 16 of them. She is also the Head of the Commonwealth, and Supreme Governor of the Church of England.
2. She has served 58 years, the third longest of any British monarch. Next year she will surpass George III (of Declaration of Independence fame), and in 2015 she will surpass Queen Victoria to become the longest-reigning British monarch.  In 2024, at the age of 98, she could become the longest-reigning monarch in European history. (Her mother lived to 102.)

As I mentioned before, although the Queen is the head of state, as a "constitutional monarch" she is little more than a figurehead, with the real power residing in the Prime Minister. Elizabeth does not vote, and generally does not express her own political opinions in public. She meets with the Prime Minister weekly, but those meetings are confidential.

When William conquered England, he claimed all the land for himself, and extracted land rent from the tenants, which he used to pay the expenses of government. Later, taxes and fees were charged on people and buildings. In 1688, Parliament retained the taxes and began paying the army and navy, but the king still maintained the civil government and royal household from the land rent. However, as more and more land was given away or sold, the remaining rent was no longer sufficient. George III made a sweetheart deal with Parliament, in which he surrendered the income from the Crown lands to the treasury (estimated to be £11,000 per year at the time) in exchange for a a fixed "civil list" payment of £800,000 per year.

Today, it's exactly the opposite: the British Crown Estate has holdings of £6 billion and earns around £226 million per year,while the Queen gets a civil list payment of £7.9m per year. In other words, it is quite a good deal for the country. (Even ignoring the Crown Estate income and including other costs, the monarchy costs each Briton 69p per year, or about 1 US dollar per person per year.) The current payment has not changed since 1990; however, last year the Queen spent £13.9m -- dipping into a reserve -- and it is expected she will ask for an increase this year.

Interestingly, although the Queen owns the British Crown lands, she does so only in a professional capacity; that is, she can't sell them, and when she leaves office ownership will change to the next monarch. The Royal Collection, which includes artworks and the Crown Jewels, is similarly held in trust, as are Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle. (She does own Balmoral and some other properties.)

The Queen currently enjoys a very high level of support, although this hasn't always been the case. Her popularity declined in the 80s as Britons suffered a depression (the Winter of Discontent), and then in 1992 they were forced to pay for the restoration of Windsor Castle after a major fire. There were talks of abolishing the monarchy altogether, although the Queen appeased them by agreeing -- for the first time in history -- to begin paying taxes on her own personal income.

Also in 1992, her daughter Anne divorced, Charles and Diana separated, and Andrew and Fergie announced they were separating. In her annual Christmas addressed, she referred to it as her "annus horribilis."

That said, her service to the country has been beyond reproach. She has tirelessly dedicated herself to the formation of the Commonwealth, a loose association of former colonies including Canada, India, Australia. (Interestingly, in 1956 there was talk of France joining the Commonwealth, but instead formed the European Economic Community, which became the European Union.)

She has travelled more than any monarch before her, including a global tour in 2002 (at the age of 74) to celebrate her Golden Jubilee. In 2012 she will celebrate her Diamond Jubilee, marking 60 years on the throne. (Queen Victoria is the only other British monarch to have celebrated a Diamond Jubilee.) She will also address the United Nations later this year, and of course will host the Olympics in two years.

She, or a member of family, presides over 2,600 investitures per year, although the list is generally drawn up by the government. The Queen maintains two privileges: She, and she alone, decides who to confer the Order of Merit and the Order of the Garter, both of which are limited to 24 living members.

If you're interested, the countries that recognize her as head of state are the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Barbados, the Bahamas, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda, and Saint Kitts and Nevis. She holds each crown "separately and equally."

And here's a (somewhat disturbing) list of things the Queen should do before she dies, as compiled by TNT Magazine.  (Look for the 'next' button in the upper-right corner.)

Ginger

Mock someone's ethnicity, religion or sexuality and you could be hauled into court.  Make fun of someone's hair color, though, and it's a harmless joke.


I don't understand, but harassment of male redheads -- gingers -- is rampant in the UK.  This is not some quaint custom from 20 years ago, but alive and well today.  I had the TV tuned to a random channel, and a sitcom repeatedly referred to one of the characters as a 'ginger tosser.'  I found it absolutely repugnant, but this is not only tolerated, but encouraged in the UK.


Nobody seems to know why they are singled out, although red hair is much more prominent in northern Europe than the rest of the world.  Perhaps it's because it's rare enough to be different, but not rare enough to be special--I don't know.  Perhaps it's because red hair is associated with Irish ancestry--and we know how the English have treated the Irish.  In any case, other countries in northern Europe don't have this issue.

So in praise of gingers, here's a link to a project called Ginger Snaps, with some very lovely photos.  (Skip over the first ten or so. The baby in the bathtub is classic.)

Old money

Old money isn't really that old -- less than 40 years, I'd say.  That's because it was only in 1971 that Britain finally converted its money to the decimal system. 

The US did it in 1792.   Russia did it in 1710.  Now that's old money.

Before 1971, the UK still had the pound sterling, but it was broken down into 20 shillings, which in turn were broken down into 12 pence. To denote this, you would say £1 3s 4d, where s=shilling and d=pence (don't ask) or simply £1 3/4 (which, in decimal terms, is about £1.17).

Now, just to blow your mind, here's a list of coins at the time;

• Farthing: one quarter of a penny (phased out in 1956)
• Half Penny (or ha'penny -- pronounced "hay-penny")
• Penny (plural: pence) There were 240 pence to the pound, which goes back to when a 'pound' meant a pound of silver, and sterling was a sliver (1/240th) of the pound..
• Threepence
• Sixpence (also known as a tanner)
• Shilling (or bob): 1/20 of a pound, so 5p. Even after the conversion, shillings were used as 5p coins until 1990.
• Florin (or two bob): Two shillings, or 10p.  Also used as coins until 1992.
• Half Crown: Worth two shillings and six pence (!)
• Crown: Worth one quarter of a pound
• Half Sovereign: Worth two crowns, or half a pound.
• Sovereign: Worth one pound. They were made of 22ct gold and so stopped being used as currency once their real value outstripped their face value.
• There was also a bank note for ten shillings, usually referred to as 'ten bob,' that was the equivalent of half a pound.
• A 'guinea' was an actual coin, worth £1, until 1797.  However, after it stopped being minted, 'guinea' started to mean 21 shillings (that is, 1 pound and 1 shilling).   Today it means £1.05 although why anyone would use it, I have no idea.

So if an item costs 4/9 and Bobby has a half crown, a florin, and a tanner, how much change will he get back?

Today, the coins are 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, 20p, 50p, £1 (which replaced one-pound notes in 1983), and £2 (which were introduced in 1998).  In 2008, the coins were redesigned so that the £1 shows the full Royal coat of arms, and the other coins can be put together to form the same image.

It took 5 years to plan, and 18 months to execute, with widespread complaints from the public about inflation, being overcharged, and using 'fake money.'  Not surprisingly, when the opportunity came to change currency to the Euro, England declined.

P.S. The answer is thrupence.

'Send us your cash!'

Iceland has been in the news recently, shutting down UK airspace by spewing volcanic ash into the stratosphere.  Yesterday I saw an account of a British Airways Boeing 747 that had flown through a similar cloud near Jakarta in 1982.  All four engines stalled, and the plane glided from 36,000 feet to 13,500 feet before the pilot could restart them.  In addition, the ash scoured the windshield, making it completely opaque, and they had to land on instruments only.  Very scary stuff.

Iceland was also in the news last year.  You probably heard about the collapse of Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, and Wachovia bank.  You probably didn't hear about the collapse of Glitnir, Landsbanki and Kaupthing, even though they had a combined value of approx. US $120 billion. That's because they were in Iceland.

Until recently, Iceland was one of the poorest countries in Europe, only notable for not being icy.  (The name is a derivation of 'island' but the Gulf Stream actually keeps it quite temperate -- unlike Greenland, which is covered in ice.)  In 1994, Iceland joined the 'European Economic Area' (kind of a subsidiary to the European Union) which allowed them to diversify from fishing exports into financial services.  With a low tax rate, they attracted a lot of investment, including US $6 billion from the UK and Netherlands.  It was a real rags-to-riches story, and by 2007 Iceland was ranked as the most developed country in the world!

However, betting everything on financial services meant they were more exposed to the financial crisis than any other nation.  In October 2008, all three major banks went into receivership, the currency collapsed, and the country went into a serious economic recession.  But that's not why they were in the news.

They were in the news because, although the European Economic Area agreements required Iceland to guarantee those deposits (just like the FDIC guarantees US deposits, even for foreign investors), the UK did not trust Iceland to meet its agreements, and instead it invoked anti-terrorism legislation to seize Iceland's assets in the UK! While that may have sounded like a good idea at the time -- declaring a country a terrorist threat just for political expediency -- it turned out to be a very, very bad idea.

That's because the UK only seized a small amount of money, paid out US $6 billion to investors, and then handed Iceland a bill for the difference.  While the Icelandic government passed a bill which would have repaid them over 6 years, the Icelandic people were so upset that they held a referendum -- the first since becoming a nation in 1944! -- and defeated the bill by 93%!  (Wikipedia has a good article on the Icesave dispute if you want to read more.)

So the joke of the day is the UK telling Iceland, "we said 'send us your cash!'"