House hunting

When I first got here, I complained about how hard letting (renting) is in the UK, because each flat (apartment) is registered with a single agent, and each agent is a slimy scumbag.

If you know exactly where you want to live, it's fairly straightforward--you call all the agents in the area, and bug them regularly because they will never, ever call you back. But if your needs are a little more esoteric (ie "two bed near London with a water view") it's pretty impossible, unless you're willing to ring every agent in London and the surrounding home counties on a weekly basis.

And even that's not feasible, because agents will show you every hovel on their books, apparently in the hope that you'll forget your requirements and fall in love with the one-bed over a garage.

The only tool I have on my side is a web site called globrix.com, which consolidates listings from various agents and displays them on a map. (Who would have thought!) The only problem is that I still can't judge driving distance, and what I thought was going to be a leisurely Saturday turned into a frantic 7-hour race to see 5 properties.

• We started at 9:30am in Maidenhead, at a beautiful modern flat right on the river - but on the ground floor, with a large hedge that blocked any view. Funny how the agent didn't mention that...
• At 10am we were in Marlow, looking at the outside of a flat because the agent never showed. It did have a nice view...from the 4' x 4' living room that we could see.
• At 11am, we were in Weybridge, waiting for an agent who was 20 minutes late and brought the wrong keys. She went back to the office and then called us to let us know she couldn't find the keys, and we'd have to come back another time.
• At noon, we were in Staines, looking for parking on what had to be the busiest road outside of London. We got to the flat 10 minutes late, but the agent was 10 minutes later. The "luxury penthouse corner flat" did have a gorgeous view of the river, completely obscured by long, skinny windows and a horrible layout--I would basically be working in the kitchen in order to see anything.
• The same agent took us across the river to look at another flat that had a much nicer view, was £300 month cheaper, and would have been fine...if it hadn't been in Staines.
• The same agent had one other property that he didn't want to show us, but since it happened to be right next to another place we were going to look at, we insisted. It turned out to be a charming little house with a lovely garden and a brook running by. Jess and I agreed that it was the only place worth considering.
• We went down the street to see the final place, and it reminded me of "The Money Pit" -- outside it was absolutely fantastic, a solid brick house with a turret and leaded glass windows, a large yard, on a quiet street between the brook and a reservoir. On the inside, however, it was a complete nightmare, with mouldy bathroom tiles, DIY partitions, and several areas the landlord has locked off for his own storage! I told the agent I'd consider buying it, but not renting it, and she agreed with me!

On a brighter note, I finally met an agent who did not use the phrase 'to be honest with you' every 2 minutes. (I had one agent say that when discussing the weather!) I would have rented from the man for that reason alone--except that was the flat with the hedge. I wish he had been honest with me.

This isn't too much to ask for, is it?