Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Words, wide night

I can't decide if the world is too big or too small.

Just looking at a map of British Airways routes is humbling: Cairo, Nairobi, Bermuda, Rio de Janeiro, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Delhi, Bangkok, Vienna, Paris, Berlin, Athens, Rome, Madrid, Bucharest, Istanbul -- a who's-who of history and romance, all less than 12 hours away! The world has literally become an oyster, and with four weeks off per year (and no B&B to deal with), I have more free time than ever.

Yet, making holiday plans today proved just opposite: Even if all I did this year was take a few weekend trips (3-4 days, plus travel time) to see my family in California and Georgia, that would take 15 days; add in a few days to see friends in Los Angeles, and my holiday time is gone! Jessica is already planning trips to Israel and Australia without me, because she has 44 holidays this year (some of it carried over from last year).

I moved to England so I could see the world, but now I just want to see my family.

I don't have any answers, but I will leave you with the words of Carol Ann Duffy, Britain's poet laureate:

Somewhere on the other side of this wide night
and the distance between us. I am thinking of you.
The room is turning slowly away from the moon.

This is pleasurable. Or shall I cross that out and say
it is sad? In one of the tenses I singing
an impossible song of desire that you cannot hear.

La lala la. See? I close my eyes and imagine
the dark hills I would have to cross
to reach you. For I am in love with you and this
is what it is like or what it is like in words.

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