Turn, turn, turn

I think I've finally figured out what it is about Judaism that resonates within me: The marking of time.

I know that sounds silly, and you probably think I should just get a watch, but hear me out.  All my life I've felt adrift, chasing one thing after another, all of them challenging and enriching and successful, but ultimately none were rewarding.  The thrill was in the chase, but the meaning was not.

What London has given me--that Los Angeles never could--is the seasons, the expression of time on the world.  What Judaism has given me the the expression of time on my life.

Every week, every year, every birth, every death, every marriage, every milestone--no longer just random and insignificant events, but celebrated and made holy simply because we as a people choose to do so. 

Christianity's focus on the afterlife never made sense to me.And to be honest, a lot of Judaism doesn't make sense to me.  But what is starting to make sense is that for 2500+ years, people have been celebrating life in a way that gives it meaning; making it important simply by saying it is important.  When I looked past the message for the answers, I missed that the message was the answer.

Of course, typical of my life, I learn that lesson just at the time when knowing it causes me the greatest pain.

Don't worry. I'll still tilt at windmills and chase impossible dreams; that's part of my nature.  But I'll look for meaning elsewhere: in family, in relationships, in the most mundane days and activities, because we choose to set them apart, and that by itself makes them holy.

And I'll be reminded of this every Friday night, every Bar Mitzvah service, every Yom Kippur, every Yahrzeit candle.  Because Judaism doesn't give me the lesson of time -- that has been there the entire time.  What Judaism gives me is the tools to mark it with, the methods to incorporate it in my life, and a community to celebrate with.