Electric Monk

High on a rocky promontory sat an Electric Monk on a bored horse. From under its rough woven cowl the Monk gazed unblinkingly down into another valley, with which it was having a problem.

--from Douglas Adams' "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency"

Douglas Adams went on to explain: "The Electric Monk was a labor-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed dishes for you, video recorders watched television for you, and Electric Monks believed things for you." 

However, I've decided to co-opt the term for my own purposes.  As my job no longer requires me to do anything, only to think about things -- generally technology-related -- I've decided my new job title is "Electric monk."

It's very strange.  All my life I'd hoped to avoid the dreaded "middle manager" syndrome, feeling as though my only task in life was to move papers (or information) from an inbox to an outbox.  Unfortunately, they moved all the workers to India, and I didn't go with them.  So I moved up the ladder and now produce technical designs which are then sent to India to be realized.

Except, having been in that position for many years, I know they don't give a rat's ass about the design, and they'll build the system any way they want to.

Which is fine, because I don't have responsibility for it.  I don't even get to see it.  By the time it's complete, I'll have worked on a dozen other projects.  Most of them will have just been bids or ideas, and will never see the light of day.  But senior managers think it's important -- and generally don't listen when I tell them otherwise -- so we waste time chasing stupid ideas.

Cynical?  Perhaps.  But mostly I'm just frustrated.  Frustrated that I no longer feel I'm producing anything useful. My job is to stop other people from doing stupid things.

So next time you think of me, picture me on a rocky promontory, sitting on a bored horse, gazing into a virtual valley, and thinking that everything is starting to look the same shade of pink...