Spring watch

Intervention

Someone really ought to stop me.  I may be getting addicted to dating.

Say what you want about eHarmony, everyone I've met has been beautiful, intelligent, and interesting.  Not all have panned out, of course, but I've only had one bad date. (And even that wasn't bad--she was very cute--I just couldn't see it going anywhere.)  Tonight I had a date with a Polish girl who was so cute, and had a wicked sense of humour.  Tomorrow I've got a second date with a Scottish girl that has the most lilting accent and piercing blue eyes. The girl from Plymouth (with the beautiful brown eyes) said she didn't want to pursue a relationship*, but still wants to meet as friends, so I'm having breakfast with her, and in the afternoon I've got a third date with a British-born Indian girl, who is making me dinner. :-)

Next weekend I'm hoping to meet up with an American ex-pat from my synagogue, another Polish girl (with a penchant for short skirts and long boots), and another American ex-pat I met on eHarmony and have stayed friends with.  I'm also going to a concert with Tracy (whom I met on eHarmony), and I have a second date with the girl from the Czech Republic.  (I haven't seen her for a month because she had to go back to take care of her mom, who fell down some stairs and broke both her shin bones!)

I feel like the luckiest guy in the world, getting to spend time in the company of all these gorgeous women, most of whom would never talk to me again if they knew I was seeing 6 other women! I'm trying to whittle it down to 3 or 4, but I'm enjoying them all!  Someone should organise an intervention before this gets even more out of hand...

* Actually, I think I just scared her off, and I'm really curious to know what is going on there.

A quiet night

In Manchester, lying in a dark room, a strange bed, unable to sleep, the smells and sounds all different. On the wrong side of the bed, a sickly neon bleeding through net curtains, my belly full from a rich dinner, the gym clothes still folded neatly in the suitcase. I curl left then right, then lie on my back and think about how I never sleep on my back. I tilt my pelvis and stretch my lower back, something I learned in yoga. My head is full of diagrams and people and random scraps of information; my subconscious is  slowly processing it. It's a big project I am working on, and there is a lot to learn.

I wonder if you're lying awake, too. if you thought of me, and what you are thinking.

I am in a soft mood, a sensual mood, tactile and warm and feeling. I miss being connected.to someone, experiencing warmth and touch, desire, love. I curl along the edge of the bed, turning my back on the emptiness, but all I feel is the cold.

I look forward to going home tomorrow, but I don't know why; the bed is still empty, and the hot water bottle provides artificial warmth. I will cook, make phone calls, iron clothes, maybe play a game with my brother. On Friday I will light candles and go to synagogue. I've already filled Saturday and Sunday with friends, perhaps presaging how lonely I feel on this quiet night.

Manchester

So after managing to get a date when my company sent me to Exeter, what were the odds of getting one when my company sent me to Manchester? Well, about 100%, apparently.

I had been speaking to her for a while, but she lived in the middle of Wales, far from everything. I knew she had contacts in Birmingham, which is halfway between Reading and Manchester, so I suggested we meet on my way home. (This was actually quite a stupid suggestion, as the train companies frown on you breaking your journey, and I would have probably had to but a second ticket to get back on the train.) She, however, told me her hairdresser was in Manchester, she was in need of a haircut, and her friend was going to give her a ride!

So I've just spent the past hour trying to figure out a plan, and it's fairly straightforward: I'll take the train into the city center, meet her there, we'll walk nearby to Canal Street, and eat at what appears to be a romantic restaurant/hotel called "Velvet."

Of course, after putting that plan together, I discovered that Canal Street was the epicentre of gay life in Manchester. (They don't call it *Man*chester for nothing...) Suddenly "Velvet" has a whole other meaning, and I have visions we will be the only straight couple in the restaurant!

However, it's already 3am, so I wasn't going to change the plan. At the very least, it promises to be an interesting evening...

True love

Having had love find me three times in my life, this idea of looking for it is rather foreign to me. And in my long-standing tradition of making an absolute mess of what other people do naturally, this dating thing is no exception.

So here's my problem(s):

- First, it's very easy for me to talk to people online.  I've been doing it since I was 12, and it's quite natual.  In addition, there don't appear to be too many men online who can string together two sentences, so I get a lot of responses just because the competition is so weak.  That means it's very easy for me to get overwhelmed, and at one point I was talking to 30 women!

- Second, I have no idea what I'm doing, so I vaccilate from strategy to strategy.  At one point I was trying to get a woman's entire life history before meeting, only to find there was no spark.  So then I tried to meet them as quickly as possible, only to find that meeting them actually shuts down the conversation.  (I'm not clear why, but people are definitely more open before meeting, and after they just want to talk about work and weather.)  I haven't found a good medium yet.

- Third, I really am treating this like a work project, rather than something to be enjoyed.  Last weekend I had five dates!  Between Friday night and Sunday ngiht I spent 22 hours with dates, four of whom I was meeting for the first time.  Not only was it ridiculous, but it was quite dangerous -- twice I had to stand around the train station pretending to leave, only to emerge a few minutes later to meet the next date.  (I can't actually believe I didn't get caught.)

- Fourth, after we meet, I don't know what to do.  As I've said, all the women I've met have been absolutely lovely, but of course with most there's no spark.  Does that mean I shouldn't see them again, or I should see them again to see if anything develops, or let them make the call?  I don't know.

- Fifth, when there are sparks, I don't know what to do, either!  I don't trust myself, and worry I may just be pursuing something sexual rather than meaningful.  I have no idea how to differentiate the two, other than to throw myself into the relationship and see how I feel in a month.  Is that appropriate?  I don't know.

- And sixth, even though it's been a year now, the fact is I'm not over Jess, and I know that colors everything.  Of course, if I don't press forward, I'm never going to get over her, so it's not an excuse to shy away, it's just one more thing adding to the confusion.

I keep telling myself this takes time, and some people spend years at it, so expecting to find something in two months is not reasonable or helpful.  However, it would very much help if I knew what I was looking for.  I guess as the adage goes, I'll know it when I see it...

Hurry up and wait

<rant on>

After losing the last bid (through no fault of my own, I should mention), I wasn't sure what project I would be put on next.  There had been talk of placing me on a government project, which would mean a daily commute to south London and lots of politics, so I was quite concerned.  I tried to point out that I didn't have security clearance -- and could not get it until I had been in the country for five years -- but that didn't dissuade them.

So it was relief when I heard one of the other technical architects, who was leaving the company, had recommended me to take over his work, and my boss agreed to lend me out for 6 weeks.  I set up a meeting with him on Friday to discuss his project.

Friday morning, one of his colleagues also gave notice, and so we talked about me taking over his project as well.

Then he mentioned they had was another project, currently awaiting approval by the CEO, that would need a technical architect as well.

So suddenly I was now taking over for two full-time people, plus a third project as well!  And it meant regular travel up to Manchester, which is about a 3 hour train journey.

This is not something I would have agreed to -- unless the alternative was a government project in south London!

So Monday morning I had a conversation with the new overlords, we put together a plan, and all I needed was for my old boss to release me.  (This was obviously required more than a 6-week commitment.)  I sent her an email, didn't hear back.  A voice message, nothing.  A text message, nothing.  I tried to catch her online, but she was always away.  This went on for three days!! I even got up early this morning, dressed in a suit, and packed my overnight bag just so I was ready to go once I got approval. She finally sent me an email saying she would get back to me on Thursday!

So I've essentially wasted the entire week waiting, and of course I come out looking pretty stupid--would you trust a multi-million pound project to someone who can't even get this done?  I've taken to saying that my company wants everything done yesterday, but will only make decisions tomorrow.

<rant off>

Chametz

As I've said all along, a lot of Jewish rituals and ceremonies resonate with me...and a lot don't.  Regardless of the veracity of the underlying cultural myth* of escaping slavery and persecution, Passover is wonderful for three reasons:

1)  It asks present-day Jews to directly relate to their ancestors.  Many of the readings in the seder refer to "us" not "them," which makes history real for me.

2) Estimates are that more people are enslaved today--including sex workers and child labourers--than any other time in history, which is pretty remarkable. The seder has been adapted to not only remember those who were slaves, but acknowledge those who still are.

3) It is the Jewish equivalent of Christmas or Thanksgiving, a time for family to draw together, with a strong focus on the children.  (The whole point is to pass the story down to the next generation.)  There are no parades or football, but there is eating, drinking, singing, games, and a communal meal.

In fact, the only thing I find fault with is the handling of chametz, or leavened bread.  Exodus:15 reads:

Seven days shall ye eat unleavened bread; howbeit the first day ye shall put away leaven out of your houses.

The first part is easy enough: A leavening agent is anything that introduces gas into a bread product, making it lighter and fluffier.  This obviously includes yeast and baking soda, but may also include eggs, butter, or even mechanical action, such as whisking.  Of course, since yeast is present in the air, it's a bit tricky to keep it out of your bread products, but rabbis decided it took 18 minutes for yeast to start rising, so if you mix and bake your bread within that period, it was okay.  (Seriously, who makes this stuff up?)  So matzoh crackers are baked in eighteen minutes, resulting in a flat piece of cardboard.

Now I think going for seven days without bread or cakes as a remembrance to people who have suffered, and are suffering, is a beautiful and meaningful ritual.  But the second part says, "put away leaven out of your houses."  That's pretty straightforward, so Jews will often keep the leaven in their houses, draw up a contact with a non-Jew to "buy" the leaven (but not take possession of it), and after Passover will buy it back!  I can't describe that in any way other than, WTF?  Even worse, synagogues will often coordinate this, selling all the leaven for all of their members!  What are they thinking?!

And yet, these same people who won't actually take the leaven out of their houses will often go to extreme lengths to clean their houses to ensure there are no grains anywhere.  (Traditionally it is done with a feather and a bag, and the bag is then burned!)  Many people will have an entire set of dishes, cutlery, and bakeware to be used only during Passover, to ensure it has never touched leaven (which, as I mentioned, is in the air).

That is the sort of nonsense that really makes my blood boil.  (Did you see how I combined two of the plagues there?  A little Passover humor for you.)  In addition, people are always finding new ways to make bread and cake that is, technically, "Kosher for Passover" but that not only misses the point, it's definitely not kosher.  If you want to eat bread and cake, eat bread and cake--nobody is going to care. But don't make bread and cake and say you are doing it in the spirit of remembering the suffering of others!

Of course, Christians celebrate Passover all year long because of what Jesus said at the Last Supper, which was a Passover celebration.  He passed out the matzoh and said, "This is my body," then poured out the wine and said, "This is my blood."  So now you know why communion wafers taste so awful.

* Despite extensive archaeological searches, there was been no evidence of a group of 200,000-odd slaves in Egypt, escaping Egypt, or wandering the desert for 40 years.  None.

More "wheaty" facts

- Botanically, tomatoes are a fruit. Legally, however, they are a vegetable, at least according to the US Supreme Court. (Nix v Hedden, 1839).
- Arkansas decided to play it safe and named the tomato as its state fruit and state vegetable.
- Corn is also treated as a vegetable, but of course it's a grain. Its closest living relative is the teosite bush.
- Insoluble fiber is generally regarded as healthy, but think about it--what is the point of eating something you can't digest? Some studies indicate that fiber moving through the gut causes a lot of irritation and damage, and the resulting mucous (your bodies' defense) is what actually moves things through.
- Genetically, today's wheat is completely different than 'heritage' wheat. The point being, if our bodies had once adapted to wheat as a food source, it hasn't caught up.
- There are two primary kinds of wheat--red and white. (The red is usually bleached to make it white.) In South America, there is a purple variant.
- Domestic wheat has been bred so the 'rachis' does not release the seeds. Thus, domestic wheat cannot survive in the wild.
- In English, corn is a generic term for grain. Only Americans have used it to specifically refer to maize.
- 85% of corn is genetically modified.
- Hominy is corn that has been soaked in lye.
- Like wheat, most corn is a semi-dwarf variety, growing less than 6 feet. Wild corn grows up to 9 feet.
- Porridge is any grain cooked in milk or water. Oatmeal is obviously oats. Polenta is maize, grits are hominy, and wheat is Cream of Wheat. (There doesn't appear to be a generic term for this.)
- Oats do not contain gluten, but many people who are sensitive to wheat gluten are usually sensitive to the proteins in oats, as well.
- Rolled oats are just that--the grain is flattened by rollers, making it easier to digest. It is also heated and dried, making it 'shelf stable.'
- Cut oats are used for oatmeal--the finer the cut, the faster they cook.

The wheat of all evil

[There are so many things I should be doing right now, other than researching wheat.  I'm not going to do them, obviously; I just want to acknowledge they exist.]

First, some salient (or at least interesting) facts:

• Wheat is a cereal grain, which are grasses cultivated for the edible components of their grain.  (The word cereal derives from Ceres, the Roman goddess of harvest and agriculture.)  The other major cereal grains are maize* (corn) and rice. Minor cereal grains include barley, sorghum, millet, oats, rye, buckwheat, and quinoa (although the last two are not true grasses.)  Rice grows better in tropical climates, wheat in temperate climates, barley in cold climates, and oats in cold, wet climates.
• Wheat was cultivated as long as 11,000 years ago, but wild wheat was exploited as long as 23,000 years ago. Animals, including dogs and cats, eat wild grasses (although they never thought to grind it up, mix it with water, and bake it).
  
• Wheat was a key crop enabling civilization not only because it could be easily cultivated on a large scale, but could be stored as well.
• Over the past 50 years, human population has increased by 227%, while wheat production increased by 300% (from 222 million tons to 682 million tons)  Between 2007 and 2009 alone, wheat production increased by 12%!
• Along with maize (817 million tons),rice (679 million tons), and other cereals (284 million tons),  that's 2.1 pounds of cereal per person per day.  (Of course, most of that is fed to animals -- it takes 16 pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat.)
• China and India produce more wheat than the US
• Wild wheat (including spelt) has a tough hull, while domesticated wheat has a brittle "rachis." To obtain the grain, wild wheat needs to be milled to remove the hulls, whereas in domestic wheat the chaff breaks up during threshing, releasing the grains.
• Once the plant has produced its seed grains, it dies and begins to dry out.  Once it is dry enough for storage, the wheat is cut, threshed, and winnowed.  (Today, a "combine harvester" does all three steps.
• Today, 81% of wheat cultivated is of a "dwarf" variety, both because the shorter plant allows more energy to be put into seed production, and because the stalks are less likely to fall over in the wind.
• Depending on the variety, 100 grams of wheat contain 12.6-15.4 grams of protein, 1.5-1.9 grams of total fat, 68-71 grams of carbohydrate, 12.2 grams of dietary fiber, and 3.2-3.6 mg of iron (17-20% of the daily requirement).  The whole grain is a concentrated source of vitamins, minerals, and protein, while refined flour is mostly starch.
• Wheat protein is called "gluten," and about 1% of humans are intolerant, or have trouble digesting this. Some people are also allergic to wheat. 
  

Overall, for the other 99% of us, wheat sounds like a superfood, but it has three problems:

• First, while gluten intolerance only affects about 1%, gluten sensitivity is estimated to effect about 33% of the population.  This sensitivity causes inflamation in the digestive system, which in turn is linked to cancer and heart disease!
• Second, wheat has been hybridized to the point where it barely resembles its original form, and the new hybrids have much more gluten.  (And "organic wheat" is still modern wheat.)
  
• Third, wheat is more efficiently converted to blood sugar than almost any other carbohydrate, including table sugar!  After two hours, your blood sugar crashes, causing you to eat more, and contributing to obesity.

Even more alarming, studies show that wheat (or more specifically, gluten-derived polypeptides) can bind to the brain's opiate receptors. This effect can be blocked by taking naloxone, the same drug given to heroin addicts!  It takes about 5 days for the withdrawal cravings to subside.

My favorite quote, though, was from Dr. William Davis, responding to the "research" that eating whole grain wheat was healthy:

The research...is all conducted the same way: white flour is replaced with whole wheat flour, which, no question, is better for you. But taking something bad and replacing it with something less bad is not the same as...eliminating it altogether. It would be like saying that filtered cigarettes are less bad for you than unfiltered cigarettes, and therefore, a bunch of filtered cigarettes is good for you.

Bear in mind this is not an occasional food -- for the average person, wheat makes up 20% of our total calories!

Mark Sisson also pointed out, grains don't want to be eaten.  Animals develop defenses, fruit developed an indigestible seed (and so wants to be eaten!), but all grains can do is poison you, which they do.  (Gluten is both a protein for the germinating seed, and a poison--hence the intolerance.)

So that's why I'm trying to cut wheat out of my diet...and also why I'm failing so miserably at it.  Help is on the way, however, from an unlikely source: Judaism.  This year Passover occurs In early April, which celebrates the Jews flight from Egypt with these words:

For seven days you shall eat unleavened bread ... you shall guard the unleavened bread, because on this very day I will take you out of the land of Egypt; you shall observe this day for your generations as an eternal decree. - Exodus 12:14-17

Of course, this isn't a prohibition against wheat -- matzoh is made from wheat flour, and you are required to eat it at the passover seder! -- but the fact is, unleavened bread tastes pretty awful, so I won't be eating much of it.  And hopefully, at the end of that week, the cravings will have passed, and I can cut one more thing out of my diet, having already done soda, meat, and nuts.

* Bill Bryson, in his book "At Home," pointed out that the Mayans managed to create corn from a grass, and tomatoes from an herb.  Nobody has any idea how they did it.