Hong Kong

I've never been the south-east Asia. I've been to Beijing and Osaka, but those don't count. I almost went to Thailand -- just after I arrived in New Zealand and while I was still waiting for my work visa, a friend was heading to Thailand and I thought about joining him, but my new girlfriend shut that down quickly. :-)

That said, I've never particularly wanted to go to Southeast Asia. As I noted when I moved to Britain, I can only deal with cultural change in small bites; anything more than that and I get overwhelmed and cranky. But Hong Kong -- a British colony for 100 years -- seemed like a good gateway. It wasn't.

We had a 16-hour layover, from 5am to 9pm. The meticulously planned itinerary was simple:

• Buy online tickets for the “360 Lantau Culture and Heritage Insight Tour” before we arrive
• Take a taxi from the airport to Tung Chung station (HK $40)
• Get a round-trip train ticket to Hong Kong central
• Spend 3 hours exploring the city
• Return to Tung Chung by 11am
• Take the 45-minute cable car ride to Ngong Ping
• Have lunch at the Po Lin Monastery
• Join the 1:15pm tour. The 3.5 tour included the Big Buddha and Tai O fishing village
• Take the 45-minte cable car ride back to Tung Chung
• Shop/eat at the Citygate Outlets
• Take a taxi back to the airport by 8pm
• Board the 9pm flight

Now, let’s see how well that worked out:

• Buy online tickets for the “360 Lantau Culture and Heritage Insight Tour” before we arrive The online app (which offered a substantial discount) failed to mention you had to book more than 24 hours in advance.
• Take a taxi from the airport to Tung Chung station (HK $40) It was HK $50
• Get a round-trip train ticket to Hong Kong central The kiosk only offered one-way tickets!  The whole point of taking the taxi was to save money over taking a one-way ticket from the airport and a one-way ticket back to Tung Chung!
• Spend 3 hours exploring the city We took the train to Kowloon station and attempted to walk to the ferry.  I say “attempted” because it took us half an hour just to find our way out of the train station/mall.  Hong Kong city planners are clearly not fond of pedestrians, sending them up to elevated walkways, down to subterranean crosswalks, or just having an exit door that leads straight onto the motorway.  (I’m exaggerating there, but not by much!)  It was an early Saturday morning and I think there were three of us on the ferry across Victoria Harbour.  Once we were in Hong Kong proper, the contrast was remarkable—one street was lined of shopping malls and luxury brands, and two blocks over it was street vendors.  My son had been moaning since we got off the flight about his stomach hurting, so we found a western-looking restaurant and stopped to eat.  (He didn’t eat, and for a 14-year-old boy that is a clear sign there was a real problem.)
• Return to Tung Chung by 11am We were late
• Take the 45-minute cable car ride to Ngong Ping – we did this, and it was great!
• Have lunch at the Po Lin Monastery Since we’d already eaten, we skipped this.  (There was also some confusion about whether you ate the monastery or under the Big Buddha.)  In any case, although it was all vegetarian, it was not gluten-free and I couldn’t see anything my partner could eat and my son was still not eating.
• Join the 1:15pm tour.  The 3.5 tour included the Big Buddha and Tai O fishing village I thought my partner would have trouble being on her feet all day, because she can’t sleep on an airplane, but in reality she was fine and it was my son who was dragging his feet everywhere.  It seemed cruel to extend his misery  so we skipped the tour.  (And no, it’s not because I didn’t want to pay full-price!!)
• Take the 45-minte cable car ride back to Tung Chung They had stopped the cable cars because of a thunderstorm warning.  We were one of the first in the queue for the replacement bus and it still took us two hours to get off the mountain!
• Shop/eat at the Citygate Outlets After waiting two hours, nobody was in the mood to shop, but my son was finally hungry so we tried finding food, and I stress the word “tried.”  We marched across every level of the mall and checked out the menu in every café and restaurant and could not find any gluten-free vegetarian food!  At this point I just wanted to get back to the airport.
• Take a taxi back to the airport by 8pm The last restaurant was part of a hotel attached to the mall.  I asked the front desk where I could find a taxi rank and they told me to take their free shuttle to the airport.  Of course, I could have pointed out I wasn’t a guest, but that’s not my job.  The shuttle dropped us at terminal 1; it turned out the restaurants were all in terminal 2.
• Board the 9pm flight The plane was an hour late.  By then we were all over Hong Kong and just wanted to get home.

Needless to say, my feelings about southeast Asia have not changed (but I still want to go to India).