Inside:
Every year, I
try to write something to tie the year up, to see the big picture, to keep it
all in perspective. And every year I
fail. Our lives are not the intended
actions of people on a mission, but the ramblings of two people having
fun. Well, maybe one person having fun:
- In January, I bought passes to the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences (the “Oscar” people) screening of the 75 Best Picture winners. It didn’t occur to me that Dawn might not want to drive to Beverly Hills every Monday night for the next 75 weeks. (By the time you’ll read this, we should be up to 1958.) In October, the Warner Grand Theater re-opened and so we go to San Pedro every Friday night to watch old movies as well. Dawn doesn't understand how I can take her to the movies twice a week but she has to wait for new releases to come out on video.
- In February, I decided the stock market was nearing bottom so I invested some money we’d been holding in cash for the last two years. By March, it had lost 40% of its value. I also moved our retirement accounts into “socially responsible” funds – apparently, this means they just give the money away. So we are re-evaluating our retirement plans and thinking we may not make it for 2004.
- In March, Dawn bought a vegetarian cookbook. We’d been skirting the edges for some time, so I took this opportunity to declare we would be full vegetarians. Despite Dawn’s initial response – “you’ll have to rip meat from my cold, dead fingers” – she has actually been the prime instigator for cooking at home. However, we’ve just supplanted cheese for meat -- next year, we’ll try eating healthy vegetarian food.
- In April, I bought tickets to NASCAR. Dawn volunteered her opinion about spending four hours watching cars go in a circle, so I took a friend instead. We got to the stadium two hours early, but it took us three hours to find a parking space. I also discovered why front-row seats are the cheapest. It was so loud, I just hared it, and I told everyone I would never go back. Except Dawn; I told her she missed a great time.
- In May, I ignored Dawn’s desperate pleas to ship my uncle’s car to her mother and instead we drove cross-country to deliver it personally. In nine days we hit twelve states, covered 4,000 miles, and used 150 gallons of gas. We saw Salt Lake, Denver, St Louis, Kansas City, and Chicago, but only for about ten minutes each.
- In June, we decided to plant bushes along our driveway. The first hole hit cement – a 3’ strip of cement that ran the entire length of the driveway. I assured Dawn that I would remove it, but all of the quotes seemed quite high and I didn't do anything. In October, she rented a jackhammer and spent two days ripping it out. Once we factored in the cost of disposal, we saved about fifteen dollars.
- In July, Dawn announced she had lost ten pounds. I announced that between gym fees and personal trainers, that averaged out to $100 per pound. I, on the other hand, having been riding my bike to work for nearly two years, still haven’t lost a single pound, but have saved nearly $300 in gas. She told me where I could stick that $300.
- In August, I went on a two-week business trip to Toronto.Dawn wanted to come spend the weekend with me so I put her on a red-eye Friday night and an early flight Monday morning. Sorry to say, Ontario and Niagara Falls weren’t anything to write home about, with the notable exception that they aren’t vegetarian-averse: You can get a veggie dog from a street vendor, and we found a great vegetarian buffet restaurant. (Oddly, they didn’t serve salad.)
- In September, I decided I didn’t like our entertainment center and wanted a separate stereo cabinet, and so proceeded to cut down the entertainment center until I had a small stereo cabinet. (Think “mini-me.”) All of our electronic equipment was scattered around the living room for six weeks and when I was finished, we still didn’t have a home for the TV. (Fortunately, there was enough scrap left to build a small stand.)
- In October, Dawn and I celebrated eleven years together. Eleven years! Only my parents lived with me longer, and that’s because there are laws. We celebrated by buying a chair which, as of December, still hadn’t arrived. (Something about the longshoremen strike.) We also cleaned out the garage and I threw out Dawn’s school books -- all four boxes of them -- that we have been keeping for eleven years. I also threw out my old Atari computer, which had been mothballed for 15 years. The difference was that Dawn didn’t go to the trash can three times to stare at her school books.
- In November, after struggling for three years to maintain a planted fish tank, I finally got fed up. A reasonable person would have just thrown away the plants, but instead I bought a canopy, new lights, a carbon dioxide tank, and a new filter. Dawn watched the transformation—and the expense account—without saying a thing. When I was finished, and the tank was covered in a thick mat of algae, she announced she was going shopping.
- In December, Dawn said that after last year’s cruise she didn’t want to spend any money or go anywhere with my family, so I invited them to visit us. Apparently, that wasn’t what she meant. But her mom, my aunt and my uncle (who haven’t been on a plane in 40 years) are all flying out; my brother and his wife and two kids are driving down from Sacramento; and my mother and sister and her boyfriend will all be joining us for a vegetarian Christmas dinner. (Just kidding!)
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