You may have wondered why I write the Christmas letter instead of Dawn. Well, the sad truth is that after five years in the law field, Dawn's letter would begin, "Seasonal non-denominational greetings to the party named above." Also, Dawn has a sense of pride which tends to inhibit her writing. I, on the other hand, have no such pride. In fact, some people say I revel in all of the stupid, compulsive, anal things I've done throughout the year. This is simply not true. I objectively report on everything that I've done throughout the year -- that it is all stupid, compulsive, and anal is just sheer coincidence.
Travel has been big this year. We went to Savannah, Georgia twice within six months for the absolute worst reasons imaginable. While the savings in postage on the Christmas letter has been dramatic, it is hardly justifiable. When my father passed away, I realized it was way past time to get to know my relatives. Something tells me I should have just stayed in bed.
We went to visit Dawn's parents twice this year. The first trip was in Spring, or at least I thought mid-March was Spring. It was a painful lesson about the seasons, but one I won't soon forget. (Can you tell I grew up in Southern California? We have four seasons: fire, flood, riot, and earthquake.) The second trip was in the Fall. In last year's letter we were thinking about using Pennsylvania as an excuse to visit New England, and it seemed like perfect timing. We decided to go in mid-October but several people told us that was too late in the season. so instead we went mid-September. It was a painful lesson about Fall foliage, but one I won't soon forget. On the bright side, we have lots of pictures of green trees and we missed the crowds. (By the way, foliage was late this year and it peaked around mid-October.)
For those who weren't subjected to the New England World Tour letter, our itinerary was as follows: We flew into Albany NY, drove to Bennington (nothing), Brattleboro (nothing), Grafton (restored colonial homes--actually, everywhere was restored colonial homes), Cornish-Windsor (longest covered bridge in America), Quechee Gorge (big train bridge), Woodstock (Simon Pearce glassblowing, Billings Farm, and the Vermont Raptor Center, not hippie concerts), the Mad River Valley (nothing), Waterbury (Ben and Jerry's ice cream factory), Burlington (some college, no coat factory), Shelburne (Vermont Teddy Bear Factory), Franconia (Old Man of the Mountain), Moultonborough (Castle in the Clouds), Wolfeboro (nothing), and Portsmouth (nothing). Dawn specifically forbade me from going to Salem at night, so we drove straight into Boston. We walked the Freedom Trail, which is a brick trail in a brick sidewalk along brick buildings, which made me pine for stucco. We saw the Old State House, the Old South Meeting House, the Old North Church (do you see a pattern here?), the USS Constitution, the Public Garden, Boston Common, and Faneuil Hall. We ate lunch at Durgin Park ("founded before you were born") and had dinner at Ye Olde Union Oyster House, "the oldest continuously operating restaurant in America." We drove to Connecticut and visited my mother's cousins (my second cousins?) and saw the house where my mother grew up. We tried to get to Pennsylvania via New Jersey but somehow landed ourselves in New York City--Yonkers, Manhattan, Yankee Stadium--we were there. Fortunately a guy at a toll booth told us how to get out of New York City. We gave him twenty bucks--that was the toll. We got to the farm on Saturday at 4:30am. We left Tuesday at 9am. I'm sure there was a visit somewhere in there, but I can't really remember it. We also missed our flight and had to wait in the airport for three hours for the next flight. I remember that all right. Everybody in the airport will remember that.
It was what I like to call an "extreme" vacation. Two months in advance I had not only made hotel reservations and car reservations, but dinner reservations as well. I was confident that if the trip was a disaster, it would not be my fault. Well, okay, it would be my fault, but at least I could figure out what went wrong. Fortunately the trip went pretty well. Lots and lots of big, green, beautiful trees.
I gave up soda during the trip. I have no idea why. It's been almost three months now, and the twitching is barely noticeable. I could probably even take off this "CQ" patch. I asked Dawn what she was going to give up since I had given up soda, and she just said, "Don't drag me into your own personal hell."
I almost got promoted again, but I talked them out of it. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. If anyone in a decision-making capacity is reading this, I'm sorry. And I'm ok now.
Dawn bought a truck, finally. This has been in the works for about four years now; I still have the "Consumer Reports 1991 new car book." This all started when she announced one day, "I want a truck so I can run people over." (This from the person who thinks an anti-theft device should be something that blows up if someone tries to steal it.) She test drove several trucks and then picked the most expensive. (This is also not unusual for her.) Over the years I have tried to talk her into a base model truck, with such amenities as a 4 cylinder engine, manual transmission, and no air conditioning. She bought the extended cab, 6 cylinder, automatic, with air conditioning, power windows/locks/mirrors, keyless entry, alarm, cruise, tilt wheel, you name it. The dealer took one look at Dawn and started salivating. I dragged her over to a fleet dealer and I think we got a decent price. Dawn even badgered them into giving her an extra hundred on her trade-in. I expect we're going to get a pretty nasty phone call from them the first time they look under the hood...
In February, my mother started hinting she wanted a computer. In April, I started hinting that I would get her one. In October, I made good on that promise. She started talking to me again. Then I installed Windows '95. She stopped talking to me again.
In the span of two weeks, we had some mail stolen from our mailbox and my car was broken into. Our mail was used to make payroll checks, and about four grand was cashed out before the bank noticed something odd (like a payroll check being cashed against a personal checking account??) Four months later I'm still getting "bad check" notices and filling out affidavits with the bank. From my car I lost my briefcase and my shaver. (Go figure.) I had to immediately go buy another briefcase and stuff it full of papers, to make sure people at work didn't think I was slacking off.
The Mulhalls, our only friends who have not fled L.A., finally decided to flee L.A. Fortunately they are only going to San Diego, so we can visit them on short weekends. All of our other friends are either a long weekend or a short week away, neither of which we can spare anymore. We promise to visit when we're retired, though.
I still don't have a hot tub or a door to the garage this year. I have a big cement wall between our house and the neighbor's, I upgraded my computer, I bought a bunch of lenses for my camera, and I paid off my student loans, but no hot tub. I'm hoping Santa will bring one for Christmas. I'm also hoping Dawn hurts her back so we can deduct this as a medical expense.
Well, that's about it for this year. At least, that's all I wrote down. Dawn and I got Franklin-ized in April, so we both carry around our day planners and we do power breakfasts to plan our day. It's pretty disgusting.
Once again I can enthusiastically suggest everyone call, write, or e-mail us, knowing that nobody will call my bluff.
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