Guy Forsyth

Lyrics from "Long, long time"

When I was a kid I used to draw airplanes with stars and bars shooting down airplanes adorned with hammers and sickles.
I remember listening to songs about trains and feeling the rush of wonder at the possibility that the world was infinite and accessible all at the same time.
Then it was songs about highways and born to be wild and little red Corvette and the road went on forever.
But now its clogged bumper to bumper with SUVs and two-story pickup trucks that can drive over anything except the two-story pickup truck in front of it.
Now all the songs are about gangsters and guns and everyone wants to pull off the crime of the century, and get away with it.
We Americans are Freedom-loving people and nothing says freedom like getting away with it.
We went from Billy The Kid to Richard Nixon, Exxon, Enron, OJ Simpson. We used to dream about heroes, but now its just how to beat the system.
So where do we go to dream now? Up on the roof of the projects, staring into the the city lights to see if they’ve built golden arches on the moon yet?
Self-medicated, half-sedated, trying our best to stay distracted, living life according to the TV set.
Corporations owning nations, telling us don’t change the station, it’s the only safe way to win the human race.
I wonder how the world sees us, rich beyond compare, powerful without equal, a spoiled, drunk 15-year-old waving a gun in their face.

UK taxes

Taxes are higher in the UK, but they are fairly straightforward compared to the dog's breakfast in the US.

The vast majority of Britons are covered under the Pay As You Earn (PAYE) system, whereby the employer withholds a certain percentage of your salary and sends it to the taxman instead. (Your bank does the same with any interest you earn.) At the end of the year, you're done--you don't have to fill out a tax form, file for a refund, or anything like that. And there are just two tax rates:

• 20% on the first £37,400
• 40% over that

They introduced a third tier this year to "punish" the bankers, which is 50% over £150,000.  (If you make £200,000/year, that's an extra £5,000 in taxes.  That'll show 'em.)

In addition, you pay a National Insurance tax, which is 11%  on the first £44,000 and 1% after that. That goes to fund your pension (social security to you) and jobseekers allowance (unemployment).

When you leave a job, your employer gives you a P-45 form which you must give to your next employer to avoid overpaying taxes for the year.  P-45, then, is the equivalent of "pink slip" over here.  (If you file for unemployment benefits, you get a UB-40 form--some of you may get the reference to a popular band.)


Have a child?  Then you file for a child claim benefit at birth, and you automatically get a weekly payment deposited to your bank account depending on how much you earn, whether or not you're married, how many kids you have, etc.  (You will also get a voucher for £250 to set up a trust fund for the child.) In April, Her Majesty's Customs will review your circumstances and automatically adjust your payment for the year.  And when the child turns 18, they will automatically stop payments.

Give to charity?  You can't claim it as a tax exemption, but you can 'gift aid' it, which means the charity gets the basic rate instead, which is an extra 20% on top of your contribution.

Saving for retirement?  You can make pre-tax contributions to a company pension plan up to £250,000 per year, and you can take out a tax-free personal savings account up to £10,000 per year. (You can even withdraw the savings penalty-free at any time; you just lose any future tax benefit.)

Of course, there's a multitude of additional taxes:

• In lieu of a sales tax they have a value added tax (VAT), which is 17.5%, but more interestingly it is paid along the entire supply chain.  That is, in the US, the consumer pays the entire tax based on the purchase price, but in the UK if you buy something wholesale at £1 and sell it to a retailer for £2, you pay 17.5 pence to the taxman.  If the retailer then sells it for £3 (ie £1 profit) then he owes 17.5 pence to the taxman as well.  (VAT is always included in the retail price, so you don't know what the retail markup is.)
• Stamp duty is due on real estate deals, with a sliding scale so the first £125,000 is free, and anything above £500,000 is 4%. (They've temporarily increased that to £250,000 for first time home buyers.)
• Capital gains are charged a flat 18% and cover everything you buy and sell except for your car and main home.
• Inheritance tax is 40% on any amount above £325,000.  Interestingly, you can make a gift of any amount tax-free, but any gifts made within seven years of your death are considered part of your estate.  (The Royal Family is exempt from inheritance taxes.)
• Council tax (property tax to you) is collected by the local government.
• There's the usual sin taxes excise duty on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, motor vehicles, airline flights, and petrol.  (The TV license is effectively a tax, but it goes entirely to fund the BBC.)

Fortunately for me, the UK has a reciprocal tax arrangement with the US, such that as long as I'm paying UK taxes, I don't have to pay US taxes (up to £90,000 or so).  Similarly, if you live outside the UK, you don't have to pay UK taxes -- although that can be a slippery slope, and an important case was decided this year against a man who claimed to be "non-domiciled" in the UK but since he owned a home in the UK, a business in the UK, and his family still lived in the UK, the government ruled he was still liable for UK taxes. (I know that shouldn't seem like a big surprise, but the ruling actually affects thousands of people.)

Income and outgo

Maundy Money

Since we were just talking about money, and we were just talking about the queen, I wanted to bring the two together. (Apart from Forbes' estimate of her personal worth at US$500 million.)

Maundy Thursday is the Thursday before Easter. It is the day of the Last Supper, and "Maundy" comes from the French "Mande" (meaning "command") which comes from the command given by Christ at the Last Supper, "Love one another as I have loved you.”

Since 1200, the monarch has traditionally given money to the poor on Maundy Thursday, which evolved into the Ceremony of the Royal Maundy where, since 1662, the Queen distributes money to deserving senior citizens, one man and one woman for each year of the sovereign's age. They receive ceremonial red and white purses -- one contains regular money, and the other contains a specially-minted set of pennies, one for each year of the sovereign's age.

As the Queen was 82 this Easter, she would have given 82 coins to 164 people, or just under 13,500 pennies. By comparison, the Royal Mint produced 7.82 million regular pennies. In addition, the Maundy money is actually made of sterling silver, and has the original Queen Elizabeth profile. (The money has been updated three times during the Queen's reign.) Now, I'm no numismatist, but I'd bet Maundy money is worth quite a bit more than face value.

Out of hibernation

England is waking up, after its long winter nap, and there's so much going on.  In fact, I've already missed Carter's Steam Fair, with actual vintage, steam-powered carnival rides!

• May 9 is the Covent Garden Puppet Festival, where Punch and Judy have been performing for almost 350 years!
• Kenwood house has been hosting Saturday evening concerts since 1951.  (Sadly, they've moved them from the lake to the green.)  This year features Diana Krall, Rufus Wainwright, and Jamie Collum.
• Hampton Court Palace has its own festival in June, with Van Morrison, Jackson Browne, and Gipsy Kings.
• The Royal Horticultural Society hosts the prestigious Chelsea flower show, end of May.
• The National Theatre covers its courtyard in astroturf (photo below) and hosts free events all summer.
• "More London" hosts a series of free events at the The Scoop, a large outdoor amphitheatre next to City Hall.  They usually do theatre in June, music in July, and films in August.
• Trafalgar Square hosts numerous celebrations.  I just missed 'Holland Day' last weekend; St George's day is on April 24.  This year the Fourth Plinth will have (wait for it...) a large-scale replica of Nelson's ship, HMS Victory, in a bottle!
• The Open Air theatre in Regent's Park is like a tiny Hollywood Bowl...with Shakespeare.
• Hyde Park has a series of outdoor concerts, including Hard Rock calling, plus its own "lido" (outdoor swimming area)
• Somerset House hosts a series of concerts and films in its courtyard.
• Wimbledon and Royal Ascot are both in June (and I can't afford to go to either)
• Ben & Jerry's hosts a 'Sundae' concert in July at Clapham Common
• Richard Thompson's 'Meltdown' is at the Royal Festival Hall, with Elvis Costello, Beausoleil, and Seasick Steve.  (I already have my tickets for Loudon Wainwright--whoo-hoo!)
• The Southbank Centre will be hosting the Royal Society's summer exhibition this year, with life-size pterodactyl models!
• The Kew Gardens treetop walkway is open all summer (Jess gets in free...and we still haven't been!)
• The Tate Britain has Henry Moore and Tate Modern has Paul Gauguin.
• In May and June, over 250 unique elephant sculptures (some life-size!) will go up all over London.
• September has both the Great Gorilla Run and Great British Duck Race where thousands of people don gorilla suits and hundreds of thousands of rubber ducks float down the Thames (uh...respectively).
• And the summer will end with a bang at the Thames festival in September, followed by an always-fantastic fireworks display.

After September things quiet down, with Dewali in October and Bonfire night in November, before England settles back, storing its energy and preparing for another fantastic outburst next summer.

More UK place names

Mold (in Clwyd)
Three Cocks (in Powys)
Assloss Road (in Ayrshire)
Lickey End (in Worcestershire)
Bishop's Itchington (in Warwickshire)
Burnt Houses (in Durham)
Catbrain (in Gloucestershire)
Great Cockup (in the Lake District)
Driving directions from Ham to Sandwich (in Kent)
Fattahead (in Banff)
Upper and Lower Slaughter (in the Cotswolds)
North Piddle (in Worcester)
Directions from Old Leake to New Leake (in Lincolnshire)
Scratchy Bottom (in Dorset)
Ugley (in Hertfordshire)
And, uh, well, I'll just let you click on this one...

Red letter day

Actually, the term has nothing to do with the post -- it refers to calendars, where holy days have been noted in red since the 14th century. Interestingly, on red letter days, judges of the English High Court and doctors of a university wear scarlet robes instead of black.

That said, I'm actually referring to the post -- this morning I put in the mail my resignation letter for my current job, my acceptance letter for my new job, and my work permit renewal request. Quite the trinity.

The work permit was actually my second attempt. I had printed (and filled out) the 66-page form at the beginning of the month, but they needed some bank statements so I had to wait a week before putting it in the mail. A week later, they returned the form because, on April 6, they had increased the fee by £20!

They also suggested I fill out a new set of forms, because the ones I had were only valid until the 27th, but I honestly couldn't be bothered. So we'll see if they kick it back again. If they do, I will run out of time on my visa and actually have to leave the country. However, considering they have my passport, that's going to be very difficult to do.

I also want to mention that two years ago, the work permit form was 10 pages and cost £300. Today, it is 66 pages and costs £820! Considering the sole reason I chose the UK over Australia was because the UK work permit form was easier to understand, I wonder if that would still be the case.

Amazing what small, insignificant decisions can have on your life.

The Queen

It's the Queen's birthday tomorrow (the 21st), though for some odd reason the country doesn't celebrate it until June.

And as such I realized that I've talked about English history, English culture, English food, English wars -- even driving in England -- but haven't discussed the most defining characteristic of England, the Queen!

So I'll start with two remarkable statistics:

1. There are 44 nations that have monarchs as heads of state, and Elizabeth II is the head of 16 of them. She is also the Head of the Commonwealth, and Supreme Governor of the Church of England.
2. She has served 58 years, the third longest of any British monarch. Next year she will surpass George III (of Declaration of Independence fame), and in 2015 she will surpass Queen Victoria to become the longest-reigning British monarch.  In 2024, at the age of 98, she could become the longest-reigning monarch in European history. (Her mother lived to 102.)

As I mentioned before, although the Queen is the head of state, as a "constitutional monarch" she is little more than a figurehead, with the real power residing in the Prime Minister. Elizabeth does not vote, and generally does not express her own political opinions in public. She meets with the Prime Minister weekly, but those meetings are confidential.

When William conquered England, he claimed all the land for himself, and extracted land rent from the tenants, which he used to pay the expenses of government. Later, taxes and fees were charged on people and buildings. In 1688, Parliament retained the taxes and began paying the army and navy, but the king still maintained the civil government and royal household from the land rent. However, as more and more land was given away or sold, the remaining rent was no longer sufficient. George III made a sweetheart deal with Parliament, in which he surrendered the income from the Crown lands to the treasury (estimated to be £11,000 per year at the time) in exchange for a a fixed "civil list" payment of £800,000 per year.

Today, it's exactly the opposite: the British Crown Estate has holdings of £6 billion and earns around £226 million per year,while the Queen gets a civil list payment of £7.9m per year. In other words, it is quite a good deal for the country. (Even ignoring the Crown Estate income and including other costs, the monarchy costs each Briton 69p per year, or about 1 US dollar per person per year.) The current payment has not changed since 1990; however, last year the Queen spent £13.9m -- dipping into a reserve -- and it is expected she will ask for an increase this year.

Interestingly, although the Queen owns the British Crown lands, she does so only in a professional capacity; that is, she can't sell them, and when she leaves office ownership will change to the next monarch. The Royal Collection, which includes artworks and the Crown Jewels, is similarly held in trust, as are Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle. (She does own Balmoral and some other properties.)

The Queen currently enjoys a very high level of support, although this hasn't always been the case. Her popularity declined in the 80s as Britons suffered a depression (the Winter of Discontent), and then in 1992 they were forced to pay for the restoration of Windsor Castle after a major fire. There were talks of abolishing the monarchy altogether, although the Queen appeased them by agreeing -- for the first time in history -- to begin paying taxes on her own personal income.

Also in 1992, her daughter Anne divorced, Charles and Diana separated, and Andrew and Fergie announced they were separating. In her annual Christmas addressed, she referred to it as her "annus horribilis."

That said, her service to the country has been beyond reproach. She has tirelessly dedicated herself to the formation of the Commonwealth, a loose association of former colonies including Canada, India, Australia. (Interestingly, in 1956 there was talk of France joining the Commonwealth, but instead formed the European Economic Community, which became the European Union.)

She has travelled more than any monarch before her, including a global tour in 2002 (at the age of 74) to celebrate her Golden Jubilee. In 2012 she will celebrate her Diamond Jubilee, marking 60 years on the throne. (Queen Victoria is the only other British monarch to have celebrated a Diamond Jubilee.) She will also address the United Nations later this year, and of course will host the Olympics in two years.

She, or a member of family, presides over 2,600 investitures per year, although the list is generally drawn up by the government. The Queen maintains two privileges: She, and she alone, decides who to confer the Order of Merit and the Order of the Garter, both of which are limited to 24 living members.

If you're interested, the countries that recognize her as head of state are the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Barbados, the Bahamas, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda, and Saint Kitts and Nevis. She holds each crown "separately and equally."

And here's a (somewhat disturbing) list of things the Queen should do before she dies, as compiled by TNT Magazine.  (Look for the 'next' button in the upper-right corner.)

Ginger

Mock someone's ethnicity, religion or sexuality and you could be hauled into court.  Make fun of someone's hair color, though, and it's a harmless joke.


I don't understand, but harassment of male redheads -- gingers -- is rampant in the UK.  This is not some quaint custom from 20 years ago, but alive and well today.  I had the TV tuned to a random channel, and a sitcom repeatedly referred to one of the characters as a 'ginger tosser.'  I found it absolutely repugnant, but this is not only tolerated, but encouraged in the UK.


Nobody seems to know why they are singled out, although red hair is much more prominent in northern Europe than the rest of the world.  Perhaps it's because it's rare enough to be different, but not rare enough to be special--I don't know.  Perhaps it's because red hair is associated with Irish ancestry--and we know how the English have treated the Irish.  In any case, other countries in northern Europe don't have this issue.

So in praise of gingers, here's a link to a project called Ginger Snaps, with some very lovely photos.  (Skip over the first ten or so. The baby in the bathtub is classic.)

Old money

Old money isn't really that old -- less than 40 years, I'd say.  That's because it was only in 1971 that Britain finally converted its money to the decimal system. 

The US did it in 1792.   Russia did it in 1710.  Now that's old money.

Before 1971, the UK still had the pound sterling, but it was broken down into 20 shillings, which in turn were broken down into 12 pence. To denote this, you would say £1 3s 4d, where s=shilling and d=pence (don't ask) or simply £1 3/4 (which, in decimal terms, is about £1.17).

Now, just to blow your mind, here's a list of coins at the time;

• Farthing: one quarter of a penny (phased out in 1956)
• Half Penny (or ha'penny -- pronounced "hay-penny")
• Penny (plural: pence) There were 240 pence to the pound, which goes back to when a 'pound' meant a pound of silver, and sterling was a sliver (1/240th) of the pound..
• Threepence
• Sixpence (also known as a tanner)
• Shilling (or bob): 1/20 of a pound, so 5p. Even after the conversion, shillings were used as 5p coins until 1990.
• Florin (or two bob): Two shillings, or 10p.  Also used as coins until 1992.
• Half Crown: Worth two shillings and six pence (!)
• Crown: Worth one quarter of a pound
• Half Sovereign: Worth two crowns, or half a pound.
• Sovereign: Worth one pound. They were made of 22ct gold and so stopped being used as currency once their real value outstripped their face value.
• There was also a bank note for ten shillings, usually referred to as 'ten bob,' that was the equivalent of half a pound.
• A 'guinea' was an actual coin, worth £1, until 1797.  However, after it stopped being minted, 'guinea' started to mean 21 shillings (that is, 1 pound and 1 shilling).   Today it means £1.05 although why anyone would use it, I have no idea.

So if an item costs 4/9 and Bobby has a half crown, a florin, and a tanner, how much change will he get back?

Today, the coins are 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, 20p, 50p, £1 (which replaced one-pound notes in 1983), and £2 (which were introduced in 1998).  In 2008, the coins were redesigned so that the £1 shows the full Royal coat of arms, and the other coins can be put together to form the same image.

It took 5 years to plan, and 18 months to execute, with widespread complaints from the public about inflation, being overcharged, and using 'fake money.'  Not surprisingly, when the opportunity came to change currency to the Euro, England declined.

P.S. The answer is thrupence.

'Send us your cash!'

Iceland has been in the news recently, shutting down UK airspace by spewing volcanic ash into the stratosphere.  Yesterday I saw an account of a British Airways Boeing 747 that had flown through a similar cloud near Jakarta in 1982.  All four engines stalled, and the plane glided from 36,000 feet to 13,500 feet before the pilot could restart them.  In addition, the ash scoured the windshield, making it completely opaque, and they had to land on instruments only.  Very scary stuff.

Iceland was also in the news last year.  You probably heard about the collapse of Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, and Wachovia bank.  You probably didn't hear about the collapse of Glitnir, Landsbanki and Kaupthing, even though they had a combined value of approx. US $120 billion. That's because they were in Iceland.

Until recently, Iceland was one of the poorest countries in Europe, only notable for not being icy.  (The name is a derivation of 'island' but the Gulf Stream actually keeps it quite temperate -- unlike Greenland, which is covered in ice.)  In 1994, Iceland joined the 'European Economic Area' (kind of a subsidiary to the European Union) which allowed them to diversify from fishing exports into financial services.  With a low tax rate, they attracted a lot of investment, including US $6 billion from the UK and Netherlands.  It was a real rags-to-riches story, and by 2007 Iceland was ranked as the most developed country in the world!

However, betting everything on financial services meant they were more exposed to the financial crisis than any other nation.  In October 2008, all three major banks went into receivership, the currency collapsed, and the country went into a serious economic recession.  But that's not why they were in the news.

They were in the news because, although the European Economic Area agreements required Iceland to guarantee those deposits (just like the FDIC guarantees US deposits, even for foreign investors), the UK did not trust Iceland to meet its agreements, and instead it invoked anti-terrorism legislation to seize Iceland's assets in the UK! While that may have sounded like a good idea at the time -- declaring a country a terrorist threat just for political expediency -- it turned out to be a very, very bad idea.

That's because the UK only seized a small amount of money, paid out US $6 billion to investors, and then handed Iceland a bill for the difference.  While the Icelandic government passed a bill which would have repaid them over 6 years, the Icelandic people were so upset that they held a referendum -- the first since becoming a nation in 1944! -- and defeated the bill by 93%!  (Wikipedia has a good article on the Icesave dispute if you want to read more.)

So the joke of the day is the UK telling Iceland, "we said 'send us your cash!'"

Debates

The first US Presidential debates were held in 1960, between Nixon and Kennedy, in a race too close to call.  Kennedy was considered to 'win' the debate, resulting in winning the election.

The first British Prime Minister debates were held...yesterday.  At the end of the debate, the two major parties had both gone down in the polls, while the minority third party went up 7%.  The only people who saw that coming were...everybody.  The bookies had all placed the Liberal Democrats as favorite to win.

(I should mention that in the UK, betting is legal, there is a bookmaker on every corner, and people will take a punt at anything, including a white Christmas.)

A month ago I said this election might result in a "hung parliament," meaning no party had a majority and would have to form a coalition with the Lib Dems in order to stay in power.  No place was that more evident than at the debates -- while Gordon Brown (Labour) and David Cameron (Conservatives) beat each other up, they both lavished praise on Nick Clegg, even while he was attacking them!  Since none of them said anything of substance, and since their policies are so similar that I can't tell them apart, the personal interplay was the most interesting (and embarrassing) aspect of the debate.

I should note that the reason there have been no debates previously is that one party always had a clear lead going into the election--and therefore couldn't be bothered.  Even this election, just two months ago, looked like it would be a landslide for the Conservatives.  However, they managed to squander that, and lost a few more points last night.  So as I said, although I don't think it makes a great deal of difference who wins, and I can't vote anyway, it still is an interesting race to watch.

Battle of Trafalgar

You know, the reason I was looking at all that Anglo-French stuff was because I wanted to mention the Battle of Trafalgar, and got so distracted that I completely forgot about it.  (My cousin insists I have ADD.) 

Unlike the Spanish Armada, this was a true naval battle, with 27 British battleships pitted against a larger, though less experienced, fleet of 33 French and Spanish warships, off the Cape of Trafalgar in south-west Spain.  Admiral Nelson, who had already lost an arm and an eye in previous battles, would lose his life to a French sharpshooter, but he didn't lose a single ship, while the enemy lost 22.  And he did so in a spectacularly stupid fashion.

Battleships are long, skinny affairs with guns along either side, maybe a couple in the back, but none in the front.  Thus, a naval battle involved little more than drawing up along side your enemy, and opening fire.  (Think of Eric Cartman's version of Rochambeau, where two men take turns kicking each other in the nuts.)  The admiral would coordinate the attack from the flagship by signalling with a flag, but if the ships were scattered then the resulting cannon smoke made signalling impossible.  Instead, modern tactics called for both fleets to line up parallel to one another, sail alongside one another, and blow the crap out of each other until one side signalled his ships to withdraw.  It was all very neat and civilized.

And Nelson wanted nothing to do with it.  When the enemy lined up its ships, he split his ships into two columns and charged.

Imagine, thirty-three warships lined up broadside with full guns to bear, and Nelson charging them head-on with no guns whatsoever.  For an hour. An hour!  By all accounts, it was the stupidest move in naval history.  Many sailors were killed before they even joined battle.  The mast of one ship was shot down, and the sails covered its guns, rendering it useless.  Even the wheel on Nelson's ship, HMS Victory, was blown away, and the shipped had to be steered by tiller below deck!

That it worked is absolutely incredible.  Nelson managed to cut off the French flagship, denying them the ability to signal (and therefore organize) the rest of the fleet.  The other column cut the line in two and opened fire at point blank range.  The battle raged for three hours before 11 French and Spanish ships escaped.

Now here's the irony: That victory cost Britain the war.  The French fleet was moving north in order to join a larger fleet in preparation for an attack on England.  Napoleon has massed his Grande Armée along the coast in preparation for the invasion, and Russia and Austria -- Britain's allies -- knew this.  They in turn had massed their armies near present-day Czech Republic, preparing to attack France.  But when the fleet never showed, Napoleon marched 200,000 soldiers across France and defeated the Austrians and Russians at Austerlitz, dissolving the Holy Roman Empire, and ending the war of the Third Coalition.

It would be another ten years -- and four more Coalitions -- before Napoleon was finally defeated at Waterloo.  However, Nelson had saved Britain from invasion and is celebrated as one of Britain's greatest heroes.  If people only knew...

Go USA!

The Holy Roman Empire was established by Charlemagne in 800AD, and lasted a thousand years until Napoleon caused its collapse.  It included Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland, and Austria, plus large parts of France, Italy, and Poland -- all of these countries became sovereign nations around 1815, making them younger than the USA!

In fact, if you look at countries by date of last subordination, the US is actually the 10th oldest "country" in the world after:

1. Bhutan (autonomous since at least the 10th century)
2. United Kingdom (1066)
3. Turkey (1243)
4. Iran (1335)
5. Russia (1480)
6. Sweden (1523)
7. Oman (1743)
8. Thailand (1768)
9. Nepal (probably not conquered since the 4th century, but established as a kingdom in 1768)
10. USA (1781 -- they declared independence in 1776; they got it in 1781)

Spain doesn't even make the list, because although it threw off Muslim rule in the 13th century, Napoleon installed his brother as King from 1808 to 1814.  Hard cheese, old chaps.

(You have no idea how long I've been waiting to use that phrase.)

Anglo-French relations

I don't know why England's history starts with the Norman invasion of 1066--it has been continuously occupied since around 10,000 BC.  (They like to claim it was the last time a military force landed on English soil, but that's not quite true--in 1595, a Spanish ship landed in Cornwall, set fire to much of Penzance, and left.  They actually just needed fresh water.)

Since William the Conqueror was a vassal of the French king, you would have thought conquering England would have lead to a peaceful co-existance between the two countries.  However, his heirs thought England was a backwater and believed they had a claim to the French throne, leading to a few wars:

1. 1109-1113
2. 1116-1119
3. 1123-1135
4. 1159-1189
5. 1202-1204
6. 1213-1214
7. 1242-1243
8. 1294-1298
9. 1300-1303
10. 1337-1453 (the Hundred Years' War)
11. 1475
12. 1488
13. 1489-1492
14. 1510-1513
15. 1521-1523
16. 1542-1546
17. 1549-1550
18. 1557-1560
19. 1589-1593
20. 1627-1628
21. 1666-1667
22. 1689-1697
23. 1702-1712
24. 1744-1748
25. 1749-1754
26. 1755-1763 (the French and Indian War, where England trained Americans to fight, leading to...)
27. 1779-1783 (the American Revolution--you know that Statue in New York harbor was from France, right?)
28. 1792-1802 (England actually tried to put down the French Revolution, leading to the rise of a young general named Napoleon Bonaparte...)
29. 1802-1815 (The Napoleonic Wars)

Napoleon decimated Europe, including Spain, which is what finally allowed Britain to become the foremost world power.  Their control of the seas went unquestioned for the next century, and they maintained the balance of power in Europe until a complex series of political manuevers meant that Britain and France actually became allies in 1904.  World War I exploded ten years later.

Ealing

To me it sounds like someone who has been hurt.  However, according to Wikipedia, it was recorded as 'Gillingas' or 'people of Gilla,' c. 700 AD, and has been referred to as 'Illing,' 'Gilling,' and 'Ylling' before finally settling on 'Ealing.'  It is 8 miles from London center, a fair distance before modern transportation.  A census in 1599 showed only 85 households.

The Great Western Railway was built in the 1830s, but Ealing only got a stop in 1879.  Uxbridge road was paved about the same time, and as a result Ealing became a middle-class suburb and a place for the wealthy to escape from the smoke and smells of the city.

In 1901, Brentham became the first "garden suburb," a pioneering movement that advocated, among other things, "co-partnership" -- that is, housing associations would build and own the homes, and tenants would take a share in the association, so each tenant had a personal interest in the entire development. (Tenants also paid rent and received a share of the assocation's profits.) Brentham started with 9 houses and grew to over 800, and was a model for garden cities throughout the world. (Baldwin Hills in Los Angeles was one.)  However, after the first world war, Brentham faced competition from "council estates," high interest rates, and rent control. By 1936, the association was sold to a property trust, and by 1940 it was run as a commercial business, with houses being sold first to tenants, and then to the general pubic as they became empty. Brentham became a "conservation site" in 1969, preserving much of its "Arts and Crafts" architecture, and today small two-bed townhouses sell for around £575,000 (US $860,000).

Ealing is probably best known for its film studios, which were built in 1902 and are the "oldest continuously working film studios in the world" (according to their website).  In the 1950s, the "Ealing comedies" starring Alec Guinness (yes, he did have a career before Star Wars) included The Ladykillers and The Lavender Hill Mob. In the 60's, BBC took over the studios for Doctor Who and then Monty Python's Flying Circus.  They were refurbished in 2000 and used for Notting Hill.

In August 2001, members of the 'Real IRA' (a splinter group of the Irish Republican Army) exploded a car bomb outside Ealing Broadway station. Amazingly, nobody was killed and only 7 people were hurt.  (The Real IRA chose not to abide by the Good Friday cease-fire accord...obviously.)

So now you know a little bit more about where I've been living the past year...and perhaps understand why I want to move out.

Easter

Last Wednesday, my aunt had exploratory heart surgery to see if she needed angioplasty, but ended up with a double-bypass instead.  Fortunately they were able to schedule it the next day, or they would have never gotten her to come back.  I arrived Friday morning and she looked fantastic.  Seriously, if it hadn't been for the scar down her chest, I wouldn't have believed she had surgery.  They even moved her out of ICU that afternoon.

I took my uncle to lunch to celebrate.  Afterwards, he started complaining about a headache, and next thing I know his head was slumped onto his chest and he was completely non-responsive. I freaked out, got the waiter to call 911, and just held onto him.  He was breathing okay, his skin temp was normal, he didn't show any signs of a stroke; I guess he just passed out, although I was sure I was about to lose him.

A few minutes later, he did come out of it, and by the time the paramedics arrived he was fine, just a little tired.  (And bizarrely, the 911 operator told the paramedics my uncle was 2 years old, so they were looking for a baby and instead found an old man who was just fine.)  They were fantastic, though--they checked his vitals and said he was fine, but then one of them suggested they check his blood pressure with him standing.  As soon as he stood, he became nauseous and weak, so they took him to the nearest hospital--which, of course, was the one my aunt was in.

After sitting in the emergency room all day, they decided to admit him for observation, and put him on the same wing as my aunt.  They were literally right across the hall from each other.  It was quite surreal -- and actually quite convenient.

Even more unbelievably, they were both released on the same day.  My aunt was up and around the next day, and by Sunday she was raring to go, although the doctor kept her an extra day to be safe.  My uncle was doing fine but they decided to install a heart monitor, which had to wait until Monday morning, so they kept him, and he was happy to stay.  When he was in the hospital six months ago, all I heard were stories of him trying to escape, but with his wife across the hall he was quite content.  I don't know if that's love or just being needy, but it was sweet.

I was flying out Monday evening so of course the hospital waited until 4pm to release them.  I barely had time to drop them at home, make a quick meal (mostly for myself--greens, black-eye peas and corn muffins have become tradition, and I wasn't going to leave without some) before rushing off to the airport.

So that was my Easter holiday.  I should point out that in England, Good Friday and Easter Monday are both holidays, so I actually didn't take any time off; thanks to Jess I was able to get a last-minute flight without breaking the bank, and of course with them being together I wasn't rushing around, so in many ways it was an ideal holiday.  The only downside was the weather -- it was absolutely gorgeous, about 80 degrees, bright and sunny, the perfect  antidote to the English climate.  Unfortunately, I spent it inside wearing a sweater, because the hospital was so cold.

Now the next challenge is going to be getting my aunt back to the hospital to take care of the blockages in her legs--which was the reason she went to the doctor in the first place.

Prisons

I started to write an article on how a modern police force -- with an emphasis on preventing crime through regular patrols and detective work -- impacted the penal system, replacing brutal punishments intended to deter crime, with long prison sentences intended to "reform" criminals.  However, I found that 18th century enlightenment had already turned against executions, and the first national penitentiary was completed in London in 1816, 13 years before the Met was established.

But while looking at current prison statistics, I was shocked.  I apologise for going wildly off topic, but this is staggering.

In 2008, England and Wales had a prison population of 72,517, which is 153 per 100,000 residents. By comparison, the US has 756 prisoners per 100,000 residents, five times higher! To put that in perspective, the US has less than 5% of the world's population, and 23.4% of the world's prison population.

So I looked at the historical incarceration rates between the US and the UK:

How can the US incarceration rate go up by 500% while the UK rate fell by 50%?  I checked the crime rate and it has dropped over the past 20 years, but not because America got 'tough on crime' -- it dropped in the UK as well.  So what would cause the disparity? Three words: War on drugs.

So the US decided to criminalize drug use to the point where 51.6% of inmates (according to the Federal Bureau of Prisons) are in for drug-related offenses, swelling the inmate population from 500,000 to nearly 2,500,000 in 25 years, and costing five times more (in real terms) than any other country.  I don't think it makes sense, but it's a democracy, so that's fine...as long as it is implemented fairly.


Except now look at these statistics:

• In 2000, the US population was 69.1% white and 12.1% black.
• According to a 2008 study, illicit drug use was 10.1 percent for blacks and 8.2 percent for whites.
• According to a 2004 study, over 60% of drug dealers are white while 15% are black.
• In 1999, a study showed blacks comprise 62.7% and whites 36.7% of all drug offenders admitted to state prison.
• Another study showed African-Americans, who only comprise 13% of regular drug users, make up for 35% of drug arrests, 55% of convictions, and 74% of people sent to prison for drug possession crimes.

Those are staggering figures.  To put it simply, a black man is six times more likely to go to jail than a white man, even though drug usage is relatively even and drug dealing is higher for whites! Even more incredible, in 1986 Congress passed a law making the minimum sentence for crack cocaine (the choice of poor blacks) 100 times harsher than powder cocaine (the choice of affluent whites). At the time, blacks were already being given sentences that were on average 11% longer than whites, but by 1990 the average federal drug offense sentence for blacks was 49% higher than for whites.

I'm not cherry-picking statistics to make a point; in fact, I looked for statistics that would counter this and couldn't find any.  This is the new racism: The black man is portrayed as a dangerous criminal, then incarcerated for petty, non-violent offenses, and locked away in a self-fulfilling cycle that absolutely destroys families, communities, and hope. It's segregation taken to the next level, and no longer restricted to the Southern states.  I've long been against drug laws and other "victimless" crimes, but suddenly I'm realizing there is a very real victim here:

• In 1980, black men in college outnumbered black men behind bars by a ratio of more than 3 to 1. In 2000, 791,600 black men were behind bars and 603,032 were enrolled in colleges.
• Today, one in every 20 black men over the age of 18 in the United States is in state or federal prison, compared to one in 180 white men. In some states, one in 13 black men are in prison.
• 13% of adult black men -- 1.4 million -- have lost the right to vote because of felony convictions. That's more than were ever disenfranchised under the Jim Crow laws.

By the way, here's another staggering statistic: A 2008 study estimated that legalizing drugs would inject $76.8 billion a year into the U.S. economy — $44.1 billion from law enforcement savings, and at least $32.7 billion in tax revenue. That a $237 refund per year for every taxpayer. It always seems the same people who want to be 'tough on crime' are the same people who want to reduce taxes, so if I can't convince you of the inhumanity of the current system, maybe you'll consider it to save a few bucks.

Think about it.

P.S. The UK isn't faring much better: A 2007/08 report by the Ministry of Justice shows that while blacks make up only 2.2% of the population, they account for 13% of stops and searches, 7.4% of arrests, 14% of trials, and 15% of inmates.  The prison population has nearly doubled since 1993, and England's incarceration rate is higher than any other European country.

New Scotland Yard

England is so old and so famous, that looking up anything (such as the origin of the word "bobby") not only turns up many fascinating connections, but often upends basic assumptions (such as the modern police force is barely 200 years old!) And naturally, the first modern police force was established in Britain.

Historically, crime was a private matter, and punishment was usually payment to the victim (or victim's family). Prior to 1800, anyone seeing a "misdeed" was empowered to make an arrest and bring the accused before a magistrate. People became bounty-hunters, catching criminals for a reward. Constables (who originally tended the King's horses--hence the name--but later were responsible for the King's armaments) acted as the "eyes and ears" of the court, finding evidence and recording facts on which judges could make a ruling. Brutal punishment was used as a deterrent to others.

The first professional body responsible for preventing crime was established in Glasgow in 1789, with eight officers. However, they also fought fires and swept the streets. In London, the Thames River Police were established in 1798, with 50 officers, and became the model modern police force. In 1829, the Metropolitan Police Act was introduced by Sir Robert Peel. The terms "bobby" and "peeler" were both used, derogatively, to refer to the new police officers, although over time "bobby" became more prevalent.  (It is hardly used any more.).

To distinguish them from the military, the uniform was blue instead of red, and officers were armed only with a wooden truncheon and a rattle to call for assistance. (This was replaced with a whistle in 1884.) Originally, they wore a top hat which was a sign of respectability and authority, but also made the officer look taller, made them stand out in a crowd, and was strengthened with cane so it could be used as a step when needed to look over walls. (The "Met" was established on September 29, but France had issued a decree on March 12 of the same year establishing a police uniform, so they get to claim the first uniformed policemen in the world.)

They also chose not to use military rank, except for sergeant. The new ranks were:

• Police constable
• Sergeant
• Inspector
• Superintendent
• Commander
• Commissioner

Detective is not a rank, but members of an investigative unit preface their rank (eg Detective Sergeant). Women were allowed into the ranks during WW1; however, their powers were limited compared to men, they weren't allowed to carry handcuffs, and 'Woman' was part of their official title (eg Woman Police Constable). That practice did not end until 1999.

The original headquarters were at 4 Whitehall Place, with a back entrance on Great Scotland Yard. Nobody knows the history of the street name, but it soon became synonymous with the new police force, so much so that when headquarters moved in 1890, they were known as New Scotland Yard. (They moved again in 1967, so I think technically it should be the New New Scotland Yard.)

Among other things, a constable was empowered to apprehend "all loose, idle and disorderly Persons whom he shall find disturbing the public Peace, or whom he shall have just Cause to suspect of any evil Designs, and all Persons whom he shall find between sunset and the Hour of Eight in the Forenoon lying in any Highway, Yard, or other Place, or loitering therein, and not giving a satisfactory Account of themselves." It also made it an offence to assault or resist a police officer, or "harbour a police officer in a public house (pub) during his hours of duty."

Citizens resented the police, claiming they were a threat to civil liberties. (They also had to pay a tax to fund the police force.) Public sentiment was so heated that when the first PC was killed--only 9 months later--kicked in the head while attempting to arrest a drunken man, the jury ruled it "justifiable homicide."

Today, the Met employs 33,258 police officers, 2,988 Special Constables, 14,332 police staff, and 4,520 Police Community Support Officers, making it the second largest in the world after the NYPD. The Met covers all of Greater London except, ironically, the City of London! This is the square mile that was the original Roman walled city, and for historical reasons they have always maintained a separate police force. (The lack of cooperation between the two is legendary, and looms large in the story of Jack the Ripper.)

The Met has incorporated the Thames River Police, as well as the Royal Parks Constabulary, and has certain national functions such as counter terrorism and protecting the royal family and government ministers. The Ministry of Defense and the British Transport Police also maintain their own force, which operate in London.  And oddly, Kew Gardens has its own police force, although they only have authority within the gardens.

And finally, "cop" is thought to be an acronym for "constable on patrol," but it is actually a real word that means "to seize or take." Cop first became a synonym for "arrest" and then slang for a police officer. Remember that the next time you cop an attitude, a plea, or a feel.

Faux meat

If you're not vegetarian, you probably never thought about meat analogues before (other than a disparaging remark or two about Tofurkey during the holidays).  Personally, I stopped eating meat because I no longer enjoyed the taste or texture, so trying to re-create that using soy powder or what gluten seems silly. Even worse (to me) is the idea of meat grown in a laboratory.

But regardless of where you stand on the issue, I'm sure you'll agree that this is wrong.

What's next, vegetarian black pudding? Oh, for goodness sake.

Spanish Armada

Imagine commanding 130 ships, one of the largest and most formidable fleets ever assembled.  And imagine getting orders not just from your king, who wants England to stop interfering with his kingdoms in the Netherlands, but also the Pope, who gives you divine sanction to crush the English monarchs who rejected Catholicism and seized the church lands.  (And imagine wanting to get in a little revenge for the pirate attacks on your ships, as well.)  Imagine sailing into the English Channel in a crescent formation seven miles wide, putting on a spectacular display of superior might as you sail to the Netherlands to pick up an army of 18,000 before landing and laying siege to London.


Now imagine being met with 197 ships that are better designed, more maneuverable, and have iron cannons that can fire three times faster than your bronze cannons.  Imagine that many of your ships are simply transports for weapons or troops, and completely unable to defend themselves.  Imagine that your 18,000-strong army never materializes because of miscommunication.  Imagine drawing your fleet into a tight defensive ring, only to have two 'fireships' -- literally the 16th century equivalent of car bombs -- drift into your formation, scattering your ships.  Then imagine a 100-year storm driving your ships onto the coast of Northern Ireland.

Now imagine that despite this defeat -- primarily at the whim of the sea, not the hands of the English -- you are able to limp back to Spain, regroup, and continue to wage war for the next 31 years, before Charles I finally negotiates a peace process.  Imagine that by re-outfitting your ships similar to England, you are able to dominate the high seas for the next two hundred years, and treble your iron haul from the New World. 


Now imagine that after all that, England gets to re-write history, claiming it was a David-and-Goliath struggle, that through sheer prowess they managed to sink the entire Armada, and from that day forward they commanded the high seas.

Banksy

Where else could a top artist also be a wanted criminal? Some street art from Banksy:
I'm embarrassed to admit I'd never heard of him until I moved to London.

Westminster Abbey

In the interest of giving equal time to that "other" famous church in England, here are some interesting facts about Westminster Abbey:

• A Benedictine abbey was consecrated on December 28, 1065, just one week before King Edward the Confessor died, precipitating the Norman invasion.
• The Abbey has been the coronation site for every monarch since 1066.  King Edward's Chair, where sovereigns are seated at coronation, has been used since 1308.  (In 1950 it was temporarily stolen by Scottish nationalists.)
• The Scottish coronation stone, known as the Stone of Scone, was moved to Westminster Abbey in 1296, and returned to Edinburgh Castle seven hundred years later, in 1996.
• Henry III decided to rebuild the abbey in 1245; work continued until 1517. When Henry VIII dissolved the monasteries in 1536, Westminster Cathedral became a 'Royal Peculiar' -- a church under the jurisdiction of the British monarch, rather than a diocese.
• Mary I returned the Abbey to the Benedectine Monks, but Elizabeth I seized it back, dedicating it the Collegiate Church of St Peter at Westminster.
• After Oxford and Cambridge, it  was the third seat of learning in England. Large portions of the King James Bible were translated here, and the New English Bible was also put together here.
• Oliver Cromwell, after overthrowing the monarchy, was given an elaborate funeral there in 1658.  When the monarchy was re-established, his body was disinterred and posthumously hanged from a nearby gallows.
•  In addition to monarchs, other famous people buried here include Geoffrey Chaucer, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, Robert Browning, Charles Darwin, Rudyard Kipling, Charles Dickens, George Frideric Handel, Thomas Hardy, and Isaac Newton
• David Livingstone (of "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?") is buried in the Abbey, but his heart is buried in Zambia.  When he died (from malaria), England demanded his body returned, the African tribes resisted.  Finally they returned it with the note: "You can have his body, but his heart belongs in Africa."
• The Tomb of the Unknown Warrior is also in the Abbey, of an unidentified British soldier killed on a European battlefield during the First World War.  It was dedicated on November 11, 1920, the same day France dedicated a similar monument in the Arc de Triomphe.
• The last person buried in the Abbey was Laurence Olivier.  Only ashes can be interred; there is no more room for bodies.  The Queen will have her funeral at the Abbey, but will likely be buried in St Georges Chapel in Windsor.
• The expression "robbing Peter to pay Paul" is purported to come from the 16th century, when funds meant for the Abbey (Saint Peter) were diverted to St Paul's Cathedral.  However, the phrase appears in John Wycliffe's 'Select English Works,' written in 1382.

Westminster Abbey by Canaletto, 1749.
The two western towers were added between 1722 and 1745

Never mind

Ignore everything I just said, because I got a new job!

I'm absolutely chuffed.  (That's a good thing.)  As you may know, my work permit allows me to work for any company, but requires me to make a certain income.  So even though I established pretty quickly that I was going to hate my new job, doing anything would jeopardize my ability to stay in the UK.  (And as I mentioned, they changed the rules so if I left, they wouldn't let me back in.)

So I sucked it up and waited until the end of February, when I got my payslip showing I had met the threshold, and then I immediately announced I was back on the market.  And was met with deafeningly silence.

To be fair, the UK economy is just now showing signs of recovery, and unemployment is even higher than when I was looking a year ago.  I expected it to be slow and take several months to find a job.  In fact, the rule of thumb here is one month of searching for every £10,000 in salary.  (By that standard, I should be making twice as much at my current job!)

So I expected it to take a while, and meanwhile my current job was just sucking the soul out of me.  I knew it was bad but I didn't realize how bad until I got the other offer, and suddenly the clouds parted, the sun was shining, there were rainbows and pots of gold and meadows full of bunnies.  Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly like that, but it was pretty close.

In four weeks, I got two interviews.  The first was with a government agency that the Tories had promised to completely gut if they won the next election   (They were completely in denial over this.)  I left that interview knowing I didn't get the job because I hadn't used enough jargon, so I immediately went on Amazon and bought four large tomes to help bring me up to date on current IT trends.  Unfortunately, I've been so busy with my current job, they mostly just sat on the shelf.

The second interview was with a consulting firm called Atos Origin, which had about 50,000 employees in France, Netherlands, Spain, and the UK.  I applied to them specifically because they are the IT partner for the Olympics, so I knew there would be plenty of work leading up to 2012.  However, it turns out the Olympics is handled entirely by their Barcelona office, with very little local work.

(Speaking of which, check out the new Anish Kapoor tower for the London Olympics.  Having recently been to an exhibition of his, I'm quite disappointed in this.)

Anyway, they brought me in for a three-hour interview, which included a grilling by two senior technical people, and a presentation to the Chief Technology Officer on a topic that I'd be given an hour before.  (Ironically, the topic was on current IT trends, and I thought wistfully about those books I'd just purchased.)  I was also just getting over a cold, and had a sinus headache.  I thought the interview went horribly, and when I got the call from the recruiter I was just waiting for her to lower the boom, when instead she made me an offer.  There was definitely a moment of stunned silence, but I recovered quickly and came back with a firm but understated, "YES!!!!!!!!"  Thank goodness she couldn't see my little dance.

My title is 'technical architect' and I'll be working with various project teams, defining the overall system architecture.  I think it's going to be a dream job, and the pay and perks are fantastic.  And even though I won't be working on the Olympics, I bet the company gets some terrific concessions.  There is travel involved but it will generally only be in the UK.  (I was actually hoping for some European assignments.)

But the job is still a means to an end, and in this case I think it's going to be the means that give me roots, and lets me thrive.  Working with talented people on serious projects with modern technology -- what a breath of fresh air that is after the past year!  Wow, I couldn't be happier.

Anyway, Good Friday and Easter Monday are both holidays in the UK, and I'm taking the long weekend to see my aunt and uncle in Georgia (again!).  I'll be submitting my letter of resignation as soon as I return on Tuesday.  I will try not to express too much glee.

P.S. I also sent my resume to Atos when I first arrived in London, and never heard back from them.  Timing is, obviously, everything. 

Crossroads

I apologize if I've been overdoing the history lessons lately. I think my infatuation here is a response to several things going on right now that make me wonder if my time in England is drawing to a close.

1. It has been the coldest, longest winter since 1976. I can't say for sure that I'm affected by the seasons, but I can say I'm not used to them, and it may be exacerbating everything else.
2. My job is coming to a head. The job itself is tedious and boring, which I can deal with, but the politics are unrelenting. I have been interviewing for other jobs, but I also have to renew my work permit, which is quite expensive.
3. I find that even after two years, I have no roots in England. To be sure, there were some missteps made from the beginning, some growing pains, and many assumptions that turned out to be incorrect, but whatever the reasons, the result is that I haven't established myself here, and I could leave just as easily as I came.
4. My family is having problems, and I feel very far away from them. I can't help them financially, and I can't be there to support them.

As children we challenge everything, defining our expectations through experience. As adults, it is just the opposite--our expectations filter our experience, so only the exceptions become noticeable. This is what allows us to thrive in our own environment, but hinders us outside of it, because the exceptions become overwhelming. So the double-edge is that everything in England is interesting, but nothing is comforting. And while I can certainly function, I have not been able thrive.

I'm not making any decisions or announcements; I'm just airing my thoughts and concerns. I am quite torn and feel like I'm at a crossroads. I always wondered what it would be like to live abroad, and now I know. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but its also the most enriching experience I've ever had. Perhaps those two are not unrelated.

Henry VIII

In addition to subjugating Ireland, Henry VIII was such a character, I just had to list some of his accomplishments in his 38-year reign:

• His first wife, Catherine of Aragorn, was actually the widow of his eldest brother. She was 23; Henry was 17. They married just two weeks before Henry's coronation.
• He was an accomplished musician, author, and poet, an avid gambler, and excelled at sports, including real tennis.
• In 1513, Henry invaded France. His brother-in-law, James IV of Scotland, took advantage and invaded England, but was defeated and killed.
• In 1521, Henry brutally suppressed the European Reformation, but by 1534 he had created his own English Reformation, declaring himself head of the Church of England.  (For the first time, Mass was in English instead of Latin; the Catholic church would not follow suit for another 400 years.)
• As part of the Reformation, Henry dissolved the monasteries and seized their property--one-fifth of the land in England. He redistributed their holdings to new hands, creating a "landed gentry" beholden to him.
• He expanded the Royal Navy from 5 to 53 ships, which served no practical purpose at all. (Britain was not a seafaring nation at the time.) However, these would prove decisive under Elizabeth I against the Spanish Armada.
• Henry also built 43 palaces. Monarchs at that time had to fund all the expenses of government out of their own income, usually from rent on the Crown lands. Despite inheriting a fortune (£375 million by today's standards), seizing the monasteries (which provided an additional £36 million per year), and devaluing the coinage twice, he still had to ask Parliament for additional money, and died in debt.
• Although Edward I had conquered Wales 300 years earlier, Henry oversaw the legal union of England and Wales. (Wales was initially set to become part of Britain, but has retained its statehood.)
• He had six wives, two of whom were beheaded. ("Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived") During his reign, an estimated 72,000 people were executed. The "head roll" included one cardinal, twenty peers, four leading public servants, and six of the king's close attendants and friends, plus various heads of monasteries.
• All three of his surviving, legitimate children ascended the throne: Edward VI (by Jane Seymour) succeeded Henry at age 9; he died at 16. Mary I (by Catherine of Aragorn) restored Catholicism but died only 5 years later. Queen Elizabeth I (by Anne Boleyn) then restored the Anglican church, and ruled for 44 years. None of them had any issue, and when Elizabeth died James VI of Scotland (and great-grandson of James IV who had invaded England) claimed the throne..

His legacy, ironically, had nothing to do with his intentions. His break from the Catholic church was a short-term tactic to secure a male heir, but the Tudor dynasty ended with his daughter Elizabeth. His expansion of the Royal Navy did not lead to England becoming a seafaring nation; instead, Spain learned several important lessons (such as using cannons instead of archers and ramming) which assured them supremacy on the high seas for the next 200 years. And his reliance on Parliament for money changed the dynamics of English politics which would, in 100 years, lead to a civil war and the overthrow of the monarchy. Beat that, Obama.