News of the day

Here is today's headline:

Ashes: Siddle hat-trick shocks England at Gabba

Any idea what they are talking about? Does the byline help?

Peter Siddle took a hat-trick on his 26th birthday and a Test-best 6-54 as England's batting was dismantled on the opening day of the first Ashes Test.

How about the rest of the article?

England had reached 197-4 before Siddle had Alastair Cook caught at slip for 67, and then removed Matt Prior and Stuart Broad with his next two balls.

Ian Bell hit out, making a fine 76, but England were all out for a modest 260.

Shane Watson and Simon Katich safely negotiated six overs as Australia replied with 25-0 in Brisbane.

Australia, by contrast, went into the match on the back of three straight Test defeats - but the Gabba has long been a fortress and England made poor use of winning an important toss.

Captain Andrew Strauss lasted just three balls, Jonathan Trott (29) fell when threatening a major innings, and it was a similar case with Kevin Pietersen (43).

Cook, who put on 76 with Pietersen and 72 with Bell, played his part but it was his wicket that triggered the Siddle-inspired collapse that left Australia firmly on top.

I find cricket fascinating only because it so obtuse.  They could be writing about anything.  They could be writing in another language, it would be just as impenetrable.

Other headlines today:
  - Despite announcing record cuts to most services, the UK government announced it was giving £8 billion (about US $12 billion) to the railways, despite record levels of dissatisfaction, delays, overcrowding, and safety records.  Yesterday, Network Rail announced theThameslink project was going to be 2 years later than expected, but by 2018 they should be able to ease the overcrowding.
  - The government also announced it was spending £2 million to define a 'happiness index,' something the last government also looked into but abandoned as 'too flaky.'
  - London police were called to task yesterday for being 'too aggressive' in response to student protests.  Two weeks ago, London police were called to task for being 'too lenient' in response to student protests.
  - The weather report is calling for snow this weekend, the earliest snowfall in 17 years.  They expect freezing temperatures for a fortnight.  (That's two weeks.)
  - A comprehensive health report indicates doctors in the South-west are three times more likely to amputate diabetics' limbs than doctors in the South-east.  Nobody knows why.

And, of course, endless articles on the upcoming royal nuptials.  The only information I deemed relevant was that since April 29 -- which has already been declared a national holiday in England -- is between the 4-day Easter weekend and the 3-day Spring bank holiday weekend, I can take an 11-day holiday with only 3 days off work.  Unfortunately, I suspect a lot of other people are making similar plans...