Settlement

I passed my 'Life in the UK' test today.  When I booked the appointment, I took a sample test and scored 90%, so I wasn't concerned and hadn't studied.  Then last week, in Chester, I was chatting with a waitress who happened to be American, and she told me the test was quite hard.  I immediately bought a study guide, and thank goodness I did.  I would have had no idea 'How many weeks paid paternity leave can a father claim?" (Answer: 2.)

The next hurdle was to try and get a 'premium' appointment with the Border Agency.  This is just a face-to-face appointment, as opposed to applying by mail.  Now you'd think any reasonable country would want to meet you, ask some questions, get a sense of who you are before allowing you 'settlement' in their country.  In the UK it's strictly a bureaucratic function--and quite a profitable one, as they charge over £1,000 (US $1,500) to 'process' your application by mail! The downside is they take about six months to do so, and you cannot travel outside of the UK while they do so!  (Technically you can travel out, but you aren't getting back in...)

So the 'premium' appointment is an additional £400, bringing the total to an eye-watering US $2,100, but you should get a decision (and your passport) back on the same day.  The catch is that these appointments really are at a premium -- the Border Agency releases them six weeks in advance, and they are snatched up within seconds of being released.  In fact, I recently read an article that because these are in such demand, agents outside the UK are making quite a bit of money by reserving these slots and then selling them.

My experience was frustratingly similar to those mentioned in the article--when I logged on to the Border Agency website at midnight, I could see and even select a slot, but when I tried to book it the system crashed, took 10 minutes to come back and, to add insult to injury, it then said I had taken too long and my slot had been released!  Of course, when I searched again, no slots were available.

So it was with some incredulity on the third night of trying, the system actually responded that I had booked a slot!  However, I've since gotten a confirmation to appear on April 18!  So, aside from having to part with a ridiculous amount of money, this looks like it might be a fairly easy process!  (Famous last words...)

Meanwhile, in preparation for surrendering my passport for six months, I've already planned three trips abroad over the next six weeks: Ireland, Amsterdam, and Andalucia.  I've also been invited to Istanbul in June, but I turned it down because I didn't think I'd be able to travel.  Well, I still won't be able to go because I won't have any money!