Kiddush

Jews being Jews, every service ends with food and wine.  This kiddush* usually consists of kosher wine, challah bread, nibbles and cake.  In many synagogues, a small group are responsible for providing it every week.  At my synagogue, members are expected to volunteer, often to mark an occasion.

This weekend was the yahrzeit (or anniversary) of my uncle's death.

So I volunteered.  I bought some crudites, some dips, a cake, some chips, and a couple of other things.  It was no big deal, but it scared the hell out of me. 

In part this was because my local shop usually stocked challah on Fridays, but not always.  I was very concerned that if they didn't have any, I didn't have a plan B, short of driving into north London on a Friday afternoon, which would have been a very bad idea!  Thankfully, they had two loaves, which is exactly what I needed.  (Please don't ask why I needed two loaves, because it is one of those traditions that I think is ridiculous.)

But mostly I was scared because every step of my Jewish journey has been on my own.  Don't get me wrong, the community have been amazing supportive and the people I have met have been extraordinarily loving, which is the only reason I can take these steps, rather than retreat into the familiar.  And tonight was no exception, with one woman I'd never met coming into the kitchen to help me prepare.  And she casually mentioned they were expecting 40 people that evening.

Forty?  I was prepared for ten!

I've been at the synagogue on many Friday nights and I've never seen more than 15 people, and two weeks ago there were only 4!  With the beautiful weather we've been having, I did not expect many, and I even chided myself for buying too much food.  What I didn't know, however, was that tonight was a "musical shabbat," with members playing instruments, which attracted a lot of people.  By the end of the evening, the only food left was a bit of cake, and that was because the woman helping me had gotten an extra cake from the storeroom!

But it worked out fine, and next time I'll know better.  There is also a tradition that the person supplying kiddush also lights the shabbat candles and says a short prayer in front of the congregation.  I flatly refused, which somewhat startled the rabbi, but he was able to find someone else without a problem.  Even short prayers are a bit daunting because I hate public speaking in the first place, and if I forget a word then I have to read the Hebrew, which is halting and slow.  But I am working myself up to it.

In the meantime, the rabbi has asked me to lift the scroll on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, when there will likely be 400-500 people in attendance.  If I can get through that, maybe I can handle a short reading, too...

* Actually, kiddush ("holy") refers to the blessing that is said over the wine and bread, but it has become slang for the meal.