Rules to live by

As a moody teenager, I really struggled to make sense of life, and it took a few years to pull together a set of norms that I was comfortable with, and have been living by ever since.  First among these were three rules of personal conduct (not unlike Asimov's three laws):

1) First do no harm
2) Use everything to your advantage
3) Take care of the important things; get rid of the unimportant things

When I tell people about these, they are usually very skeptical of the second rule, because they forget the first one.  If you are taking advantage of a person, then by definition you are doing harm.  If you are taking advantage of an opportunity, there's nothing wrong with that.

These rules worked for me for 20 years; I don't think I've done anyone any harm, I took advantage of a lot of opportunities -- working at Honda, restoring the B&B, moving to England -- and I've taken care of the important things, although sometimes to my own detriment.  Today I can look back on my life with a sense of pride, but not because I lived by these rules, but because these rules allowed me to contribute back to society.

I realize now that these rules are all about me; there is nothing there about giving back, or leaving something better than I found it.  I need my life rules to refect this inclusion, this sense of belonging, of being part of something larger than myself.

In other words, I've grown up a little bit.

I'm not going to replace the rules -- I think they are still good rules to live by -- but I am going to add four more, although at their heart the first three are just acknowledgements that I have a responsibility for others.

4) Take care of yourself so you can take care of others
5) If you can help someone, do it. If you can compliment someone, say it.
6) Celebrate the rituals of life with friends and family
7) Be grateful, helpful, honest, and above all, happy

I should probably put something in there about not buying houses for other people, but hopefully I've learned that lesson...