Fish in a barrel

I've been trying to write a personals ad, so I looked to other adverts for ideas. Well, I didn't get any ideas, but I got a lot of laughs:

london-101 - 37 - Seeking Women 18-30 - "I'm a regular kind of guy. I'm looking for someone hot, petite and fun. Not over size 10 please."

SexyEncounter342 - 37 - Seeking Women 18-35 - "make me 'obsessive' about you"

james_gy - 40 - Seeking Women 30-44 - "BOING! rebounding back...I'm decent looking, intelligent, amusing, interested - obviously in my own opinion. I do care, but I'm not obsessed. I can think of others. I'm not looking here for one-night stands, though I wouldn't..." [Sorry, the search screen only shows so much, and I wasn't about to open his profile because it would have recorded my 'interest.']

NickB69fab - 38 - Seeking Women 26-36 - "Fabulous is my middle name so I'm looking for a similarly fabulous girl.... No doom and gloom merchants please"

xsuperstarx - 38 - Seeking Women 27-37 - "the best god damn lovable rogue one is likely to stumble upon"

dwcmatch - 37 - Seeking Women 25-40 - "I'm the dating equivalent of the worst friend to get presents for...as nobody really knows what I want"

newhandsome - 36 - Seeking Women 18-35 - "Somehow he is bored filling out this one with smart comments, but lets see. Perhaps he comes up with some brilliant lines by the time.... Sorry, no brilliance in sight."

malerogue - 38 - Seeking Women 25-32 - "For sale: tall, intelligent and confident early 1970s model. One of a kind, produced in Scotland."

Vito142 - 40 - Seeking Women 25-35 - "The greatest gift anyone can give to another is love. Love is the greatest gift because love is our true nature; our untainted nature. All of us were born a clean slate. No one was born a criminal..."

christophermark6 - 36 - Seeking Women 25-35 - "Hello, I'm 34 years old and have been living on my own for just over a year now. Single life getting a bit boring now..."

Matt20v - 35 - Seeking Women 25-37 - "Hi, I'm a sarcastic, shy and considerate kinda guy..."

I swear that last one isn't me. (I'm 38.) But at least he would consider a woman 2 years older -- every other guy wanted a younger woman. And, although it wasn't displayed, I'm sure none of them would consider "a few extra pounds," either. (None of the names were changed, because these guys are jerks.)

But the good news is, if this is what I'm competing against, I should have no problems whatsoever...assuming I can ever finish the stupid profile.

P.S. If anyone has any good photos of me, I'd really appreciate copies. All of my pictures look like Marty Feldman, except this one that looks like Grizzly Adams.