This really is not my week

I thought I set up my phone system (yes, I have a system) so if anyone called me on my VOIP number, it tried both my sim cards before going to voice mail. However, what it was doing instead was ringing for 10 seconds, then telling the caller there was no one available at this time, and disconnecting them! No message, no voice mail, nothing. So if anyone did try to call me last week (like say, an employer) I got screwed.

My computer went bananas a few days ago--for some reason, my firewall started chewing up all available memory, so the computer ran dog slow. It took me two hours just to boot the PC, start the task manager, and kill the process. Two hours! But here's the fun part: When I tried to uninstall the offending program, it said the program wasn't running (because I'd killed it) and so it couldn't uninstall it! So every time I reboot (and with Vista, that's daily), I can look forward to doing this again...

If you thought I was annoyed that my bank took five days to open my checking current account, get a load of this: I went to deposit my traveller's cheques and was told, "We don't take those." When I pointed to all of the signs around the lobby that read, "Ask me about 0% commission for your travel money," the teller went and talked to his manager, then told me he would take them. Then he gave me (get this) a hand-written receipt. I asked when the funds would be available and he looked me square in the eye and said, "I don't know."

Now, I'm really trying hard not to be an "ugly American," but this guy was really pushing it. I'm sure I said something sharp, and he had another huddle with his manager and told me "within 10 days." So I no longer have any money, I have a hand-written receipt, and I'm hoping the money just shows up within two weeks. (I wonder if they have a Western Union out here. I wonder if anyone would send me money.)

Meanwhile, I'm trying to transfer my retirement funds out of my old 401k and into a new account and, not surprisingly, the company that has my money (Fidelity) is making it impossible for me to withdraw it. I sent in a withdrawal form months ago and they rejected it, demanding a signature guarantee. So I went to every bank within walking distance and all of them refused, because I wasn't a customer, except my bank, which said they no longer do signature guarantees for anyone. So I sent the form to my investment advisor, who said she could get a signature guarantee, and she sent it in a month ago--Fidelity claims they never received it. So I've spent countless hours on the phone with Fidelity, letting them know that if it was so hard to get a signature guarantee in the US I certainly wasn't going to get one in the UK, and that they better figure out another way for me to get my money, and they've basically told me to sod off.

Oh, and did I mentioned that I've gotten zero calls on the resumes CVs I've sent out? Lovely, just lovely.