The future of America

This is a short email, I promise, but I'm so chuffed about the NHS, I just had to share. NHS is, of course, UK's National Health Service. I thought I was excluded from the plan but it turns out, if you live in the UK, you're covered. (And they don't really care if you live in the UK, either.) So last week I signed up and saw a nurse for a basic checkup, and today I went and saw a doctor about my asthma--all free. She prescribed 4 drugs, each a 3 month supply. In the states, I would have to go the pharmacist three times and paid US $120. Here, I went once, and paid £28 (about US $52). But wait, it gets better, because the NHS has a "prescription pre-payment certificate" and so, for £28, all of my prescriptions are covered for the next three months. So in about 11 weeks, I'm going to go back and get all of my prescriptions refilled...for free. Now, you're probably thinking it doesn't quite seem fair that all of the working people in the UK have to subsidize my medical care when I'm an immigrant, in reasonably good health, and perfectly capable of working. Well you, my friend, are a selfish, petty, greedy, capitalist pig. -Gregg

A test of epic boredom

A few weeks ago, I lost my wallet. I was able to replace all of the cards easily, and only lost a little cash. (One of the perks of being poor.) I couldn't replace my California driver's license, though, because they required me to appear in person -- in California.

When I moved here, I had no intention of driving anywhere, so I thought this was no big deal. However, Jessica has a few days off next week and wanted to go somewhere--anywhere--and I wanted to be able to share the driving . (Note: In the UK, you can drive for 12 months with a foreign driver's license, but since I no longer had my license, I couldn't drive, period.)

So I decided it was time to get a local driver's license. I did some research and discovered how it works in the UK:

1. I had to send away for a "provisional" license. This cost £50 (US $94) and I had to mail them a photo, my passport, and testimony from someone who lived in the UK and had known me for at least two years, asserting my identity! Fortunately, the hotel owner remembered me from 2003 and was willing to sign.
2. Once I have my license, I can drive on the streets, but not the motorways (highways to you yanks). I can then sign up to take the "theory test" (written) which costs another £40 or so.
3. Once I pass the theory test, I can then sign up for the "practical test" (driving) which costs another £40 or so. In addition to normal driving, I have to parallel park (on either side of the street), and reverse around a corner. (In California, that's known as "reckless driving.")
4. Once I pass the practical test, I have to send my provisional license back, along with my pass certificates, to get a full license. I don't even know how much that costs.

Note that the UK driver's license never expires, and you never have to take the tests again. Contrast that to California, where you have to re-apply every 4-12 years, depending on your driving record. (The UK does require you to let them know if your vision deteriorates or you develop seizures, though, so they can take your license away. I'm not sure how many people actually tell them, though.)

Naturally, the first thing I did, after sending away for my provisional license, was to buy a book. The actual test is about 60 questions drawn randomly from a block of 1,000. The book was basically all 1,000 questions, with a small section at the end called "The Highway Code." (Which is odd, since they don't have highways here--motorways, carriageways, and clearways, but no highways.) So after spending 30 minutes reading, I then spent four days slogging through all 1,000 questions. It was gruelling, it was tedious, it was mind-numbingly boring, but there wasn't any other way around it since many of the questions were not covered in the Highway code!

I just graded myself and got 105 wrong, or about 89%. Passing is 75%, so I could have skipped the past four days and still passed with flying colors. Some interesting misses:

8. You are approaching traffic lights that have been green for some time. You should maintain your speed.
Nope, the answer is: Be ready to stop.

38. At a crossing with flashing amber lights, you must give way to pedestrians waiting to cross.
Nope--if they aren't in the crosswalk, they don't have the right of way. (FYI, those are actually called puffin crossings. There are also zebra crossings -- presumably named for the white stripes on the black pavement -- pelican crossings, toucan crossings, and pegasus crossings. Toucan crossings are for pedestrians and bicyclists, so it's easy to remember as "two can." Pegasus crossings, of course, are for horses--the push button is located higher up the pole, and the light is actually a red or green horse instead of a man. Pelican crossings are just normal crosswalks.)

46. A lorry (truck) is trying to overtake you, but taking a long time. You should hold your speed.
Nope--you're supposed to slow down.

47. Name seven vehicles that will use blue flashing beacons: police, fire engine, ambulance, bomb disposal, blood transfusion, coast guard, mountain rescue.
Doctors on emergency calls use green lights. Everyone else uses amber lights, including power wheelchairs, which are legal for street use even though they only go 8mph. (Note that they don't have yellow lights in the UK. They have yellow lines, but amber lights.)

61. You should ONLY flash your lights at other drivers to let them know that you are there.
That's correct, you use your lights like a horn. Even better, you're supposed to turn on your hazard lights to let people behind you know that there is something going on ahead, but you have to turn them off as soon as you're sure they've been seen.

69. You are stuck in traffic at night. To avoid dazzling other drivers, you should switch off your headlights.
No! You should use your handbrake instead of your footbrake, so your brake lights aren't shining. (I thought switching off headlights was a bad idea, but it certainly seemed like a better answer than making the person behind you think you were moving.)

135. Driving at 70mph uses more fuel than driving at 50mph by 30%.
181. Driving smoothly will reduce fuel consumption by about 15%.
182. You can save fuel when conditions allow by missing out some gears.
192. What percentage of all emissions does road transport account for? 20%.
Who the heck wrote this, Al Gore? I assure you, none of these answers are in the Highway Code. (And I don't even know what "missing out some gears" mean, but I assume it refers to manual transmissions, so I don't care.)

261. A police officer is standing at a junction, facing you, with her right arm raised and her left arm outstretched, pointing to your right. This means turn right.
No, it means stop. "Turn right" she would just have her left arm outstretched

295. You are driving towards a level (train) crossing. The first warning of an approaching train would be twin flashing red lights.
No, a steady amber light. (Oh, and some train crossings have manual gates, where you have to get out of your car, call the local operator to verify no trains are coming, lift the gate, drive through, and lower the gate behind you. I am not making that up.)

391. You see a pedestrian with a dog. The dog has a yellow or burgundy coat. This warns you that the pedestrian is deaf.
Apparently, in the UK, they have hearing-aid dogs. (I answered "color blind," because who would dress their dog in a yellow or burgundy coat? I would have answered "retarded" or "Paris Hilton" but those weren't on the multiple choice.)

632. At a crossroads thre are no signs or road markings. Two vehicles approach. Which has priority? Vehicles approaching from the right.
No, that's only true in the US. In the UK, nobody has priority, and nobody has to stop. That is to say, it's a free for all. This is true even at an intersection that has traffic lights, but the lights aren't working. (Apparently they are relying on that notional idea of fairness and good sportsmanship that the British are known for.)

633. You see a blue circle with a red outline and a red diagonal line through it. This means no waiting.
How could you not get that? And two red diagonals mean no waiting at any time. ("No cars" is a red circle with a car and no diagonal line, and really looks like it should mean "cars ok.")

935. Your vehicle catches file while driving through a tunnel. You should pull up, then walk to an emergency telephone point.
No! You should drive your burning vehicle out of the tunnel.

Not surprisingly, I missed all of the questions on driving in ice and snow. (Apparently you're supposed to drive in high gear, not low gear.) There also some ambiguous ones; eg you took the wrong route and ended up on a one-way street, but they don't tell you if you're going the right way or the wrong way. (Kind of makes a difference.) And tellingly, they have 20 questions on the vehicle excise tax, but only one question on child seats.

Oh, and the best part, is that as a provisional license holder I am forbidden from driving on the motorway, even during the practical test. However, once I get my full license, I can drive on the motorway with no experience at all! How cool is that?

P.S. After all of this, yesterday I found my wallet, complete with driver's license. (It was at the bottom of my closet--I must have left it in my pants, then hung my pants up.) However, since I'm already £60 pounds and four days into the process, I might as well finish it.

London for under £40 per day

London has always been ridiculously expensive, and even more so with today's exchange rate. A hot breakfast will set you back US $10, lunch US $15-20, and dinner a minimum of US $25. (And we're not even talking good food here, and certainly no alcohol.) Throw in a 3-star hotel, and you're looking at over US $1,000/week.

So, you ask your local London expert, how do you slash that in half?

First, stay at a two-star bed and breakfast. It's clean, comfortable, and you stayed here five years ago when just visiting, so you know the owners. (Back then you picked it because it was only one of two places that advertised itself as completely non-smoking, although recent laws have made all hotels non-smoking.) Breakfast is a simple affair of tea, toast, and cereal (bring your own banana) but it's pretty much the same thing you'd make yourself, and it's included in the room rate.

The owners are really friendly, and they offer--actually, they insist--on lowering your rate when they find you're going to be staying awhile. You have a room in the basement--a closet, really--and while you don't get much sunshine, it has four distinct advantages:

1. It is en suite (private bathroom), which is still not that common in European hotels, and certainly unheard of at £35/night in central London.
2. It is the only guest room in the basement, so it's very quiet (except when someone drags luggage down the stairs above you)
3. There is a TV lounge immediately adjacent which, while public, is hardly ever used, so it feels like an extension of your room, someplace you can take your laptop to when you're going stir crazy, or just want to watch the Olympics.
4. The kitchen is also adjacent, and the owners don't mind you storing stuff in the refrigerator or cooking, as long as you clean up after yourself. There is a stove, a toaster, and a full set of dishes. (No microwave or oven, and certainly no gadets like a blender, though.)

There is an art to raiding other people's food so it doesn't become an issue. For example, as the B&B goes through 2 -3 loaves of bread a day, a couple of slices is no big deal, but opening a fresh bag in the refrigerator would be wrong. Instead, take the slices from the loaves which are intentionally left unwrapped overnight so the bread goes stale, making for crisper toast. (Toast or fry them, but don't eat them straight, because they're stale. Plus its white bread.)

Using condiments are okay, but if you use most of a large tub of butter, best to just replace it. Familiarize yourself with everything in the kitchen so when poaching oil and vinegar, or some herbs, you can quickly use it and return it. Even though the owner stocks a lot of cheese, best to buy your own, because he likes funky cheese. (He also likes marmite and sweet pickle relish, and will offer you some, knowing that it will make you gag and double-over in disgust.) Other things you can successfully steal: eggs, tomatoes, onions, Pakistani mangoes, tea biscuits, and ice cream. (Not necessarily at the same time.) Of course, by the same token, you can't get upset if something of yours goes missing.

Fortunately, there is a large, 24-hour supermarket two blocks away, so buying in small quantities is easy. Some suggestions for quick, easy, and inexpensive meals:

• Moroccan hummus and pita, £2 (they also sell dolmas and mixed olives in a chilli garlic marinade for about £2 each)
• Bagged salad and baguette, £2 (excellent with a ball of mozzarella, 57p)
• Cheese sandwiches, grilled or toasted, 40p
• Packaged soup (pumpkin is particularly good), £1-2
• Portabello mushroom fajitas, £4 (but makes three meals)
• 2-egg omelette, 29p (filling extra--recommend portabello mushroom fajitas)
• Eggs and fried potatoes, 69p
• Fried egg sandwiches, with or without cheese and tomatoes, 15p-50p
• Packaged tortellini with pesto, £4 (makes three meals, more if you don't get sick of tortellini)
• Rice and green curry vegetables, £3
• Rice and black beans, £1
• Rice and stir-fry with tofu, £4 (tonight's meal)
• For dessert, fresh fruit (plums, peaches, apples, grapes) or plain yogurt mixed with muesli, < £1 per serving
• (The supermarket has "American style" cookies for 25p each, but they're sickeningly sweet, and I can't stop at one.)
• I also keep juice (OJ, lemonade, or mango) in the fridge

One cool thing I've learned: If you slice the baguette and lay them on top of the toaster, you'll get black "grill" stripes. You can also heat pita bread and tortillas on top of the toaster as well. (If anyone has any other tips, or suggestions for two-ingredient meals that take less than five minutes to cook, let me know.)

So there you have it, excellent advice on staying in central London for less than £40 per day*. That, or just move out of central London. But where's the sport in that?

* Tube costs, mobile phone charges, Internet access, medications, gym membership, laundry, books, batteries, and incidentals not included. Living this way for more than three months is not recommended. Starting a new relationship under these circumstances can also be occasionally uncomfortable, but at least you know she's not interested in you for your money or possessions. :-)

Street names

In today's lesson on British life, we will discuss street names. Those in the States are used to a hodge-podge of names borrowed from other countries: street, avenue, road, place, terrace, lane, boulevard, drive, and maybe an occasional courtyard.

In Britain, you have these plus: close, mews, terrace, garden, circus, yard, tower, building, manor, alley, approach, arcade, back, bridge, broadway, causeway, centre, church, churchyard, circle, college, common, corner, cottage, court, crescent, embankment, estate, field, gate, green, grove, heights, mansions, market, meadow, mount, museum, palace, parade, park, passage, pavilion, precinct, promenade, quadrant, rise, roundabout, trading, vale, view, villas, walk, and (my favorite) house.

Of course, keep in mind that when the street name changes every three blocks, you need a lot of names.

Previously, I mentioned that in London they number the houses up one side of the street and down the other, rather than odds-and-evens like, oh, almost everybody else in the world. I should also mention they also name every street in the area with the same name, changing only the suffix, so directions like this are not uncommon: "Take Fortis Green Road, turn left on Fortis Green, and left again on Fortis Green Avenue."

But wait, it gets worse. Today I needed to go to 73 Courtfield Gardens, and discovered that could be on any one of five different streets! ("Courtfield Gardens" is in red, Courtfield Road is in yellow.)

Not to be outdone, just a few blocks away, Bramham Gardens (in red) took four different streets, and one of those streets is "shared" with Bolton Gardens (in yellow). That is, the streets on the north side are Bramham Gardens and the houses on the south side are Bolton Gardens!

But oh, my friend, if it were only so simple, because some houses just opt out of this whole scheme altogether. So at the corner of Earl's Court Road and Bramham Gardens (north) and Bolton Gardens (south) is a building with two entrances -- the one on Earl's Court Road is "3 The Mansions" and the one on Bramham Gardens is "4 The Mansions."

(Where "The Mansions" came from is anybody's guess.)

So if you wonder why London has such a complicated postal code -- 5 or 6 alphanumeric characters, such as SW59FE (mine) -- it is because the address is pretty much meaningless. And I suspect that the real reason Britons eventually lost their empire is that they became too afraid to venture out, for fear of never finding their home again.

A disaster of epic proportions

My second "date" (fourth "meeting") with Jessica was at an outdoor concert on Hampstead Heath, a beautiful area north of London. On the way out, I noticed Diana Krall was playing there next month, so I asked Jess if she was interested, and she said, "I was thinking about getting tickets for my parents." Now, anyone else would have thought she was blowing me off (and insulting Diana Krall) but I just invited her parents to go with us.

Bold? Perhaps. Presumptuous? Absolutely. Smart? No.

I had already met her other parents (dad and step-mom) in Los Angeles--they were the ones who gave me Jessica's number--but this was her mom and step-dad, who live about three blocks away. I knew I couldn't avoid them for long, so figured it would be better to get it out of the way early. Jess later told me she begged her parents not to accept, but it had been four years since she had introduced anyone to her parents, and they were keen to meet me. (Plus they really did love Diana Krall.)

So I bought the tickets and got a job, because I sure as hell wasn't going to meet her parents without being employed. Except...I didn't actually get a job, and of course they asked what I did and I had to admit I didn't have a job. And I was living in a hotel. They pretty much stopped asking me questions after that.

Did I mention it was pouring rain, for an outdoor concert? We went and sat in the wet grass, huddled under umbrellas, and couldn't even see the stage. But halfway through the concert, the rain stopped...and the wind picked up, and it was freezing. Then the rain started again. I brought a bottle of chilled chablis, which went home unopened. I was also soaked through but, coincidentally, I had gone clothes shopping that afternoon and left my bag at Jessica's, so I was able to change into dry clothes when we returned, albeit completely mismatched. (Green pullover, tan jeans, white socks, and black shoes...)

So that said, her parents were lovely, and real troupers. (And they'll certainly never forget me.) It certainly didn't compare to the *last* parents I met, but at least this time there were no machine guns or wolves involved. Her parents also reciprocated and invited me to the Ballet Trockadero (an all-male edition of Swan Lake) in October. If I thought it was presumptuous of me to make plans a month in advance, I wonder how Jess feels about her parents inviting me two months in advance? :-)

Tennis, anyone?

My gym is depressing. First, it's filled with Eastern European guys who bench press 2,000 pounds. I'm not kidding--on the machines, they attach extra weights because 150kg (330 pounds) isn't enough. I feel like such a wuss when I have I have to move the weight selector from the bottom to the top. (Sometimes I move it to the middle when I'm done, but I know I'm not fooling anyone.)

Second, it doesn't smell good, mostly because the Eastern European guys wear too much cologne. (And cheap cologne at that.) I have to come early in the morning or get a spot by an open window.

Third, there's no tennis. I was walking through Holland Park, which has six courts, and wished I had someone to play with. Then I stumbled upon londontennis.co.uk, which has a virtual bulletin board to let people find partners! How cool is that?

So I looked up females in my area, not because I was hoping for a date, but because I get too competitive when I play with guys. Of 5 invitations, Alisha was the only one who responded, and we set up a game for today. (She's 28 and married, so don't get any ideas.)

Then I went to Lillywhite's, the famous sporting goods store in Piccadilly Circus. (At least I'm told it's famous--I never heard of it before.) They had a decent selection of racquets, from £13 to £147 (US $26 to $294). Guess which one I bought? I wouldn't be surprised if it snapped in two the first time I used it. I let Alicia know I haven't played in six months, and so if I sucked it was because I was using a new racquet.

And suck I did. I think the guys in the next court returned as many balls as Alicia. (I tried to go practice yesterday, but the courts were booked right through 10pm.) I didn't even try to serve; I was having enough problems with my forehand. Fortunately, she was game, and while she did keep me running for the entire hour, she didn't humiliate me. We even set up another game for Thursday.

She lives nearby, so on the way back we talked, and it turns out she moved from New York five months ago, and she's a Jewish vegetarian. So if you're keeping track, the only two people I know in London (outside of the hotel) are both Jewish vegetarians. What are the odds of that?

Cost of living

All amounts are in US dollars:

• A subway ride, one-way, into the city: $3.00
• A soda at a cafe: $4.00
• A croissant at the local bakery: $1.18
• Rice and Spinach with potatoes at the local Indian takeway: $10
• Lentil burger at Gourmet Burger Kitchen: $11.70 (fries add $5.70)
• Lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Covent Garden (no drink): $24
• The cost to call a local UK number: $0.40/minute
• The cost to call a US number: $0.30/minute (go figure)
• A movie ticket: $18
• 2 tickets to the Moody Blues at Royal Albert Hall: $160
• 4 tennis balls: $5.98
• An hour on the tennis court: $12.80
• A pair of Levi's jeans at a small clothing shop: $140
• A pair of jeans at Gap: $100
• A pair of generic jeans at Primark: $16
• A load of laundry: $12
• Average rent on a 1-bedroom flat: $3,000-$3,500/month, plus council tax and utilities
• Average down payment on a 1-bedroom flat: $8,000

On the bright side, I've lost a stone* over the past 4 weeks. Spending that $98 on a one-month (off peak) gym membership was much smarter than buying food.

*1 stone=14 pounds

My uncle

I love my uncle. He annoys and frustrates me, he has no common sense, he can be blustering, but watching the gears in is his head turn is like watching a fine timepiece...that occasionally throws a spring. I'd say I want to be like him when I grow up, except he hasn't grown up yet.

Of course I've been keeping my uncle apprised of all my antics across the pond, but he's been particularly keen on the whole Jessica situation:

Saturday, June 7: Is that why I haven't heard from you lately? Jess? Did you take her up on her offer of a free lunch? Did you succumb to the Vegan temptress? Has Lord Gregg finally [edited for decency]. Take a moment and apprise me of your latest fuck-up. Good news is hard to come by these days, sonny.

Sunday, June 8: Don't fiddle dick around with Jess. Get her in your sights as soon as you can before she runs a check on you and your cover is blown.....assuring that [edit for decency].

Monday, June 9: I was hesitant to mention this, but hey, in for a pence in for a pound, wot? Women adore gay men. I am not suggesting you tell her you're gay and you don't have to curl your pinkie around the tea cup or swish your hips when you walk. What you do is adopt a hangdog expression and sigh longingly whenever some dude in tight jeans saunters by. Here's the thing, women ALWAYS believe they have the power to change us, boyo. I was the exception to the rule, because they recognized how hopeless a task that would be. No woman can ever accept that any man could reject her, no matter how much he [edited for decency]. By that time, it won't matter how you strive to belie her assumptions, it is far too late and you will have her right where you want her, [edited for decency]. Well, don't go overboard in your gratitude, sonny, it's always possible you might have found your way [edited for decency] without my help, but one never knows, do one?

Tuesday, June 10: Is it this coming Sunday you'll be making your assault on Jess...or was it Sunday past, in which case its too late to save her. I hope my subtle dating hints were helpful, boyo. Please remember you are an American and conduct yourself accordingly. All American tourists are not the low living scum wads depicted in the Limey media. Not every single one. There's bound to be exceptions.

Sunday, June 15 (before the date): Do I start preparing for the inevitable arrival of a new niece? One that will be thrilled and honored to make my acquaintance? One that will be relieved to know that meeting you was not a total loss after all? One that will embrace your aunt B. and envy her for her good fortune? Come on, Sonny, I can't stand the waiting. Shout her name to the Gods! OR..........did you just go and fuck up......again? Told her you were recently divorced. Told her you were unemployed and borderline broke. Told her you didn't know where your next tuppence was coming from. Told her you were voting for Bob Barr for president. Told her your uncle Georgie will cry himself to sleep once he hears from you and how you blew the only [edited for decency] that will come your way while you're in London.

Monday, June 16: Oy. you are going down like the twin towers! Time for you to suck it up and prepare for some serious [edited for decency]. This chick is beginning to take on weight....in a manner of speaking. I may not be able to save you.

Tuesday, June 17: Sonny, you have GOT to stop leaving your jugular exposed the way you do. Your Email letter revealed the fact that you ignored my advice and spilled your guts like a terrorist being water boarded. Told her you were divorced, unemployed and broke.....did you also tell her you were [edited for decency] to compensate for these negatives? Luckily she's willing to give you another round. Either she's a sweet and loving, not to mention moronic, person, or didn't believe a word you said and thinks you're an undercover wealthy beach rat on the prowl for a cheap lay by playing on her sympathy. Don't you realize, dummy, that honesty is NEVER the best policy. I'm an honest man and look where it got ME! Wise up and shut up! Your poor aunt B still believes I have a fortune stashed away somewhere. I never said I was ALWAYS an honest man, did I?

Wednesday, June 18: I just hope you can maintain your mysterious man from La Mancha persona without crashing and falling on your petard. Going back to your July 5th date, you could have scheduled it for July 4th and established your independence from the git go. Show those tea taxing bastids who [edited for decency] now! In summation just let me say that this Romance promises to be 'a bit of a dust up, what'? Just don't Britishize your ass too much too soon. Good luck with the Jess, boyo. She doesn't appear to be the nanny type, so watch it and don't walk around with your thumb in your mouth or you'll end up with it up your ass. Stay off that friggin 'date site' until you've sorted this one out. You may have a winner.

Thursday, June 19: Oh my. the plot thickens....and I ain't talking about the cemetery plot. LIKE WOW! Wait til she meets your uncle! You may as well quit surfing the date sites now, sonny. I hearby pronounced you hooked, hat, ass, line and sinker. Keep me informed about your adventures in Camelot.

Saturday, June 21: Here's how I see your situation, sonny. You are beginning to get a little stressed out. You've got a few things going at the same time. I think you should take a deep breath and recoup before you proceed with this thing with Jessica. You're trying to learn too much too soon and if you don't back off a tad you're gonna crash and burn. There's an aura of hysteria in your Emails. You're trying to promote her interest in you and you're creating an atmosphere of panic (paranoia). STOP ALREADY!

Of course he's right, albeit a day late. I really got my brain tied in knots, culminating at 4am Saturday morning when I sent an email to Jessica suggesting she "run away." Not with me, from me. She wrote back "No," and just like that the brain fever was gone. I guess I just needed some reassurance, as silly as that sounds.

The future

When I asked for feedback on my personal ad, one of my friends referred me to a guy who writes a blog on dating for men. I checked it out but came away with the impression that he was taking the “job interview” approach to dating -- get as many offers as you can, so you can choose the one that is right for you.

I personally take umbrage at this -- employers are not emotionally invested when they extend an offer -- but he did make some interesting points about what women generally look for, and one of these was security: She wants to know not only where he is, but where he is going. (Apologies if I'm just perpetuating male/female stereotypes.)

So that naturally begs the question, where am I going? For so many years, I was so focused on where I was going that I felt like I missed everything along the way. So when I had the chance to start over, I consciously chose not to worry about the destination, to be more flexible and open, and enjoy the ride. (Of course I still contributed to my retirement account -- I'm not an idiot.)

And now I'm being told that this very approach will sabotage any relationship I might have.

So I pulled out my Magic 8 Ball and tried to divine my future. Now, most people never plan for the future, they just have a general idea of what they want, and then work within their current situation. My problem is, I don't have a 'current situation' to constrain me; every option is on the table: Get married again? Have a child? Get a 'real' job or continue consulting? Start my own business? Retire from IT and do something else? If so, what? When (and where) to retire? What to do when I retire?

The problem is that I'm not really committed to anything, in part because I know it will all change once I'm in a relationship. Sure, I could make something up and then look for someone with similar plans, but I'd much rather find someone I like and then figure it out together.

So it's a catch-22: I need to plan my future to have a relationship, and I need to have a relationship to plan my future.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. If I had a direction, I wouldn't be dealing with this in the first place.

A very busy year

Jessica and I were talking about the West End and I mentioned some of the "big" shows I've already seen (Wicked, Avenue Q, Phantom of the Opera, Chicago, Lion King, Les Miserables), and she intimated that I was only interested in musicals. For some reason, that kind of stung, so I pulled up my 'Google calendar' to see what else I did last year, and I was quite amazed. It only goes back to mid-August, but here's what I did in just over four months:

Aug 22	Dave Brubeck @ Hollywood Bowl (concert, with Madeleine Peyroux)
Aug 23	Kronos @ Cal Plaza Watercourt (concert, walked out on this one)
Aug 24	Big Bad Voodoo Daddy @ Hollywood Bowl (concert)
Aug 29	Nancy Wilson @ Hollywood Bowl (concert, with Regina Carter)
Sep 12	Paper Moon @ Egyptian (film)
Sep 13	Downtown Artwalk (art)
Sep 15	Beautiful Morning at Egyptian Arena (play)
Sep 21	Jungle Book @ El Capitan Theater (film) Musical improv @ National Comedy Theater (comedy)
Sep 22	CPR training @ YMCA "Slow motion dancing" exhibit @ Music Center (stupid)
Sep 23	LA Fair It's Just Sex @ Zephyr Theatre (play)
Sep 27	Junk: A Rock Opera @ Lyric Theatre (musical)
Sep 28	Downtown Comedy Club semi-finals (comedy)
Sep 30	Grand Avenue Festival Avenue Q @ Ahmanson Theatre (musical)
Oct 5	Kimberly Akimbo @ Victory Theatre Center (play)
Oct 11	Downtown Artwalk (art)
Oct 13	Genesis @ Hollywood Bowl (concert)
Oct 18	Eagles @ Nokia Theatre (concert)
Oct 20	Weird Al Yankovic @ Greek Theatre (concert)
Oct 21	Third @ Geffen Playhouse (play)
Oct 23	Cartoon dump @ Steve Allen Theater (don't ask)
Oct 24	Limonade Tous les Jours @ Hudson Mainstage (play, walked out on this one)
Oct 26	Gulliver's Travels @ Ivy substation (play)
Oct 27	Corteo (Cirque du Soleil)
Oct 28	Pumpkin party
Oct 31	'Twas the Nightmare before Christmas in 3D @ El Capitan (film)
Nov 3-4	Sacramento
Nov 7	Blade Runner @ Landmark Theater (film)
Nov 8	Downtown Artwalk (art)
Nov 9	Loudon Wainwright at El Rey Theatre (concert)
Nov 11	Pajama Game @ Carpenter Center (musical)
Nov 18	History Boys @ Ahmanson Theatre (play)
Nov 21-25	Sacramento (Thanksgiving, Mom's surgery)
Nov 27	Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theatre (Loved that program)
Nov 30-Dec 2	Sacramento
Dec 2	Tom Paxton @ McCabe's (concert)
Dec 5	Ask a Ninja Live @ El Rey (don't ask)
Dec 7	Hair @ MET Theatre (musical)
Dec 8	Beethoven Piano Concerto No 4 @ Walt Disney Concert Hall (concert)
Dec 14	Chicago @ Hudson Backstage (musical)
Dec 16	DWP Festival of Lights @ Griffith Park
Dec 20	Ray Charles Live! @ Pasadena Playhouse (musical)
Dec 27-29	Sacramento
Dec 30	Color Purple @ Ahmanson Theatre (musical)
Jan 1, 2008	Rose Parade

Throw in yoga classes and tennis lessons, and you can see it was quite a busy year, but there were still a ton of things I would have liked to do: McCabe's and the Aero Theater were too far; the Cerritos Center wasn't convenient; the Arclight/Cinerama Dome was too expensive; I only went to the beach a couple of times; Max Vontaine was doing Sinatra every Thursday at Cicada, but I didn't see him until my last week; and I only saw Bob Baker's marionnettes once. I did make the museum circuit -- Museum of Contemporary Art, LA County Museum of Art, Natural History Museum, California Science Museum, Geffen Contemporary, and Norton Simon -- but I didn't get back to Huntington Gardens or Descanso Gardens. I saw the Perseids but not the Geminids or Leonids. I bought tickets for, but couldn't attend, James Galway and Celtic Woman, and I booked a trip to the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta, but had to cancel last-minute. I never went to the Staples Center or Dodger Stadium, and I missed the Star Trek tour and the Star Wars convention, though that was more by choice.

So of 42 events, I saw 7 plays and 7 musicals--I think that's a respectable percentage. It was just the musicals had any name value.

On a completely different note, this made me think about some things I miss in LA: The Cal Plaza Watercourt; the downtown art walk; the Lotus festival and Tofu festival; tacos de papas, chile relleno burritos, and eggplant gyros; the Drunken Goat at Mendocino Farms (it's a sandwich); watching old films at the old cinemas; and seeing “CSI: New York” being filmed outside my apartment. (Plus, of course, the weather and my friends, but that goes without saying.)