Christmas 2004 newsletter

This year's letter will be very short because nothing happened.  That's not to say we weren't busy, it's just that we didn't accomplish anything.  In fact, I tried to get out of this letter altogether and just include a few pictures, but Dawn didn't think they were very funny, so here are a few short stories:

Last year, I fell in love with the 'Atmos,' a mantel clock that is wound by temperature changes.  (Don't ask.)  I couldn't afford a new one, but used ones were plentiful on eBay, so I asked Dawn.  Being the smarter one, she decided that instead of saying no, she gave me a price ceiling that would ensure I would be out-bid every time.  In fact, I was so accustomed to losing that I once bid on two different clocks at the same time.  Needless to say, I won both.

It turned out okay because the first clock didn't actually work, so it spent the first six months in a repair shop.  The second clock adorned the mantel during that time, and in July I swapped clocks and re-sold one on eBay for exactly what I paid for it.  Had it not been for my big mouth, Dawn need never have known I screwed up.

Being yuppies (or whatever the current equivalent is), you can imagine most of our days are given over to indulgent pastimes of dubious merit.  Well, mine are at least.  Dawn stubbornly dedicates herself to self-improvement, first through school, now through piano.  And while playing scales for an hour a day, every day, for the last 18 months has been difficult on me, her progress has been remarkable.

Unfortunately, she has also learned the difference between an old upright (like we have) and a grand piano (like the one her instructor has) and found the grand more to her liking.  One piano tuner told her she just needed new strings – for $1,500 – so she keeps a coffee can on top of her piano that reads, "String fund."  She also recently decided on a Casio synthesizer to take with her to Pennsylvania, so I'm expecting a new coffee can to go up any day.

Speaking of Pennsylvania, we've made six trips there this year, and the only thing we managed to do was take two giant steps backwards.  Our goal was to start the project in October, fixing the roof first and then working on the inside during winter.  Our general contractor, who we selected last year based on several strong recommendations, had done absolutely nothing, and then when we were ready to start he told us the roofer was busy until next March.  Then he asked for a $50,000 deposit.  Needless to say, he was off the project, and we will be spending our Christmas interviewing other general contractors.

The house had sat vacant for the past twenty years without incident, so we weren't concerned about slipping the schedule – until this summer, when they had record rainfall, the roof failed, two rooms were covered in mold, and the furniture warped.  We spent one week moving what we could to a storage rental, and then had a restoration company take the furniture off-site.  (We couldn't be there when the furniture was moved, but the company sent us photos, and Dawn burst into tears when she saw the house being emptied.)  So now we just hope it can manage one more winter without us.

Although the rain caused problems in the house, there were no problems outside.  Unfortunately the county, working from a checklist and in a building with no windows, I presume, told us we needed to make significant alterations in case of heavy rain.  Specifically, they told us to expand the driveway to handle two-way traffic, which required moving a hill, which then triggered "storm water detention" requirements.  (Yes, if we get too much water, we’re supposed to store it.  Go figure.)  It was typical bureaucratic nonsense, but it was going to add $100,000 to the cost of the project, and at one point I blew up and told everyone the project was cancelled.  Except Dawn.  She heard it from someone else.  That was a Bad Thing.

But it turned into a Good Thing, because she took over the project and she talked to everybody and she even flew out there to attend a meeting with the township and got everything back on track.  Instead of a two-lane driveway, we now have a small pull-off, which will add about $2,000 to the cost of the project.  She is amazing.

Otherwise, the year was pretty mundane.  We spent Fourth of July and Thanksgiving with my brother, who had a new daughter in June in spite of my plea that Heslings shouldn't breed.  We had our annual Halloween pumpkin carving, we visited friends in San Francisco one weekend, every month we have a "bridge night" and we occasionally take in old movies at the local theaters (although not as often as before).  Not the scintillating high life you probably imagined, but we enjoy it just the same.

We did add some new toys to the arsenal this year: Dawn traded in her day planner for a Palm Pilot (which doubles as an MP3 player), and I finally got a 17" LCD monitor.  We got cell phones again – I even sprang for camera phones, but wouldn't pay the $5/month so we could send pictures to each other, which kind of defeats the purpose.  We got a new printer, a cordless phone, and an electric tea kettle.  Dawn pointed out that just before the holidays, I always start spending "quick money" – so called because it goes quickly.  I'm not sure if this is because it's the end of the year and I've already blown the budget so I no longer care, or because I'm buying gifts for other people and have some deep-seated selfishness issues, or it's just an annual cycle that happens to fall in November, just after my birthday.  Whatever.  All I know is that I bought Dawn a really cool gadget for Christmas that I can't wait to play with.

Finally, an update on the fake grass we installed in 2003: It turns out that the only time we ever spent in the yard was maintaining it.  Now, we never go outside.  However, when friends visit they tell us the yard still looks great.